"Am I impressive or what? Clutching victory from the jaws of defeat with just a sliver of health."
"After this game, shall we play some PUBG?"
"As long as you're happy."
"You two are so noisy..." Tuanzi had used both hands to cover her ears and still could hear them talking; the phone was also blabbering nonstop. "Lord Dumpling has been woken up many times by your noise."
"Then don't sleep," the Old monster said.
"...Sorry, Lord Dumpling," Zhou Li said without a hint of guilt, even feeling a tinge of vindictive pleasure that he hid deep within. "How about I put on 'Cat and Mouse' for you?"
"MEOW!" Tuanzi turned her head away.
Huai Xu kept his promise, playing only four rounds of the game, but he deliberately dragged out each, unwilling to end battles swiftly even when he could. After the four rounds, Tuanzi's sleepiness had vanished completely. She just lay in bed, half-awake, watching them with a blank, pitiful gaze.
"When are we going to that person's place?" Huai Xu asked.
"I'll let Aunt Jiang know."
Half of the big cake outside was left. Zhou Li cut a slice, carefully wrapped it up, and told Aunt Jiang he was going out and would be back before dinner.
The cake was for the two little demons in the old neighborhood, close by, so he planned to deliver it himself.
After all, they had just done him a big favor.
Zhou Li then returned to his room, leaned on the bed, and drew close to Tuanzi to ask, "We're going out to make money. Do you want to come, Lord Dumpling?"
"I'll go!" Tuanzi suddenly perked up and rolled out of bed.
"Guess what Aunt Jiang is saying to Old Zhou right now?" Huai Xu said, grinning.
"I don't know," Zhou Li admitted honestly.
"I'll relay it to you." Suddenly, Huai Xu imitated Aunt Jiang's voice perfectly, leaving even Tuanzi taken aback. "Zhou Li has been going out to play every day these days."
"Must be dating," Old Zhou's voice now, mimicking even his gestures and expressions. Google seaʀᴄh 𝗻𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹~𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓮~𝚗𝚎𝚝
"Just now, I saw him cutting the cake, bagging it up." After saying this, he burst into a sneaky laugh, then switched back to his normal voice. "That was Aunt Jiang snickering. You haven't seen Aunt Jiang snicker, have you?"
"Young guys in love always act that way," shifting back to Old Zhou's voice.
"Did you do that too?"
"COUGH, COUGH, COUGH..."
"We're still in a pandemic, you know."
"Two young people in love, who can stop them..."
"Stop talking," Zhou Li interrupted, embarrassed. This sort of thing relied on unspoken understanding, where everyone pretended ignorance. Saying it out loud made it incredibly awkward.
"They've got it all wrong," Zhou Li added.
"Did I sound like them?"
"Yes. Tuanzi was stunned."
"Really?" Huai Xu looked down and indeed saw Tuanzi standing by the bed, still staring at him, eyes wide open, as if questioning life itself.
"What a silly cat..."
Zhou Li grabbed his keys and phone, scooping up the dazed Tuanzi, and walked out.
Although this client was referred by Mr. Jiang, the address was in the opposite direction, about an hour's drive away.
No sooner had Tuanzi gotten into the car than she started asking all kinds of childish questions: how money is made, how much would be made, and whether they would buy her Poached Cabbage in Supreme Broth and a gem-encrusted little sweater.
Zhou Li answered some questions, though Tuanzi seemed not to really understand them. The purpose of answering was that after hearing the answers, Tuanzi would nod as if she understood, not ask further, and it also effectively prevented her from getting carsick.
But she got carsick anyway. Zhou Li rolled down all the windows, but it was no use. Huai Xu said it was because of his poor driving skills.
The atmosphere in the car gradually quieted down.
Suddenly, Huai Xu spoke, "Brother Nan sent you a message."
Zhou Li was fully focused on navigating a rough patch of road, sparing a glance to confirm a new message notification.
"Want me to see what she sent? Tell me how to reply, and I'll type it for you," Huai Xu offered. "Do you have a voice input method installed?"
Zhou Li caught a glimpse of the screen flickering.
Another message had come.
His settings were such that they did not display the content of the message.
Huai Xu sneaked a glance at him and suddenly furrowed his brows, speaking seriously, "Why not return the call? It might be an emergency."
"What kind of emergency could she possibly have?"
"Who knows... maybe she has something important to tell you."
After finishing, the Old monster simply started whistling, turned his head to look outside the window, his face full of teasing. He didn't need to look to imagine Zhou Li feeling irritated but still pretending to be calm.
「Twenty minutes later, they arrived at their destination.」
Zhou Li immediately took out his phone to check it.
Brother Nan had only said they might have to attend online classes.
He finally let out a breath of relief.
When getting out of the car, Tuanzi looked listless, nestled motionless in his arms, her face against his chest. Only her fuzzy little tail was still wagging as she muttered to him that she would never ride in a car again.
Zhou Li just hummed in agreement.
The clients this time were an unfortunate couple whose child, still in junior high, had died in an accident. After that, the wife always said she could see the ghost of her child, describing how the child shared his pain and fear, asking for her help.
Zhou Li had seen such plots in movies and TV many times, most of which were not supernatural. The strange thing was that there were signs of items in the house being disturbed; Huai Xu guessed it could be mice.
The husband happened to hear about Master Zhou from Mr. Jiang and decided to have Zhou Li come and take a look.
The difficulty of this job lay in distinguishing whether it was a mental issue of the client or indeed a demon's influence. However, Huai Xu was an expert in this area, able to discern without getting close whether there was any demon involved.
Two minutes after entering the house, Zhou Li took out an antique-looking mirror he had bought from a street stall and spoke exclusively to the husband. "There's no demon aura, no sinister energy. This mirror never fails, so it pretty much rules out the influence of unnatural forces. It's better to get a good psychologist for your wife."
At that moment, Huai Xu was staring at a spot on the wall. "There are indeed mice. This house is too old and too large. Tell them to get a cat, but not the Tuanzi type—or else use some mouse poison or traps."
Zhou Li said roughly the same thing to the husband.
Upon hearing that, Tuanzi poked her head out from Zhou Li's arms. Weak yet still, she retorted, "Lord Dumpling is quite capable."
"Then do you dare to catch mice?"
"I'll catch one for you now!"
"Cats just can't beat mice... if you don't believe me, watch Cat and Mouse."
"Be quiet." Zhou Li covered Tuanzi's mouth. He knew he should be more serious at that moment and continued to speak to the husband, "I am very sorry for your child's accident. Please accept my condolences. If you need it, we can also help you catch the mice."
"No wonder you brought a cat."
"MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW..."
Tuanzi's protests rang out, but Zhou Li pretended not to hear them.
Ten minutes later, a massive family of mice was neatly lined up in front of the husband. Of course, Tuanzi hadn't caught them. According to her, she was a pet cat of noble status, and mice would bite her; in short, she had plenty of excuses.
Upon leaving, they received a small red envelope. It wasn't much, but Zhou Li was very satisfied.
Actually, most of the jobs they took were : mostly fakes with no demons involved. They were either due to psychological effects or caused by humans. The only difference was that some clients were detestable, and others were pitiable.
Huai Xu said humans are very good at deceiving themselves.
It was nothing but free money for them, and Zhou Li only took a portion of it, not wanting more.
Huai Xu wasn't too pleased, though.
On the way back, he continued to complain, "Do you believe they still can't be at peace? And they might even think we're not very capable. I say we should have done as I suggested: play out a performance together. The more realistic the better, the fancier the tricks the better. Add some special effects, make them thoroughly convinced we've driven the ghost away.
"Their problem is psychological, and it needs a psychological remedy. What you offered isn't a psychological remedy, just ordinary medicine; it won't cure them. What I suggest is the real psychological remedy."
"That makes sense." Zhou Li almost believed him.
"Then why don't you listen!?"
"Do souls really exist in this world?" Zhou Li asked.
"Demons or humans?" Huai Xu was always easily distracted from the topic, yet he was still eager to answer. He seemed happy as long as someone talked to him, regardless of what it was about.
"Demons don't have that concept. But if it really existed, the demons from the past would be spirits, ungraspable. Now, they can be touched."
"How should I know? Maybe there are, maybe not. Probably not. Anyway, I've never seen one," Huai Xu said. "There are many fake things in this world."