It was late at night but the car was still running on the coastal road north of Cebu. The ride was quiet and the chilly evening breeze was blowing gently inside the open car's window. Full moon was hanging proudly at the night sky illuminating the road ahead, helping the car's headlight provide ambient light.
They passed through Argao, Naga, Mandaue, and stopped briefly in Liloan to a drive thru fast food chain that was still open before continuing north to Bogo. Opening the food package, Jewel glanced at Gideon who was silent since earlier.
"Do you want to eat?" she asked.
Gideon shook his head, smiling at her when he glanced brieftly at the rearview mirror to meet her gaze. "Just eat," he said.
She went silent. Jewel could see the tiredness in his eyes yet he was focused on the road ahead. Her lips pursed into a thin line. She felt guilty all of a sudden while staring at the food. How could she have the guts to eat when Gideon was not eating?
She gritted her teeth and put the food package on the container, putting it on the dashboard. Gideon saw what she did and his brow raised, "You are not eating anymore?"
Jewel shook her head. "I'll eat later." Sighing, she looked around the dashboard. "Did you bring a Bible? I want to read."
Gideon glanced at her for a moment. "In the glove compartment," he said and looked at the road ahead again.
She opened the small hinged door on the dashboard and she saw a pocketbook size New Testament. Jewel looked at her husband for a moment before taking the small book and opening it up, reading from the book of Matthew.
She was engrossed in what she's reading when she noticed the car suddenly halted. Jewel looked up and saw that they stopped at a cliff overlooking the big full moon ahead. She blinked in confusion and decided to step out of the car when she noticed Gideon was missing in the driver's seat, putting the small book back in the glove compartment.
Jewel saw him standing near the cliff and she hastily walked towards him and stood beside her husband. "Where are we?" she asked.
She could see in the distance the round and bright moon. At the bottom of the cliff where they were standing was the peaceful sea. Occasionally, the waves pounded on the rock formations lying below the cliff.
Gideon walked back to the pick-up and she watched him as he reached for the guitar case at the second cabin. Then he walked towards her. "Care for moonlight serenade?" he asked, smiling at her.
Jewel blinked at him. It has been months since the last time they did a moonlight serenade in Medellin. And standing in that strange place overlooking the full moon was the perfect place for such an activity.
He looked around the place and pointed a finger on a vacant bench nearby, just under the big tree. "There," he said and led her to sit on the bench.
Jewel looked up at the bright moon again. Stars were overshadowed by its brightness and the night sky was clear of clouds. The chilly air was also soothing in the skin.
The wind blew gently on her face. She could even smell the moss and the salty breeze of the evening air from the vast ocean in front of them.
Jewel smiled. Sitting in that place brought a nostalgic feeling to her, and because of it, she couldn't help but to think of the things she had done before.
"Come to think of it," she whispered. "I wasted my time over these years. I should have do good rather than acting as a spoiled brat."
"That's okay. Those experiences will be your testimony," Gideon said.
She looked at him again. "What do you mean?"
"Your testimony," Gideon smiled, adjusting the guitar on his lap as he glanced sideway at her. "... will change lives the moment people know who you were when you were still ignorant of Christ's grace."
'Change lives? Is that even impossible?' she thought but didn't voice it out.
She stared at Gideon and then cleared her throat, asking. "You have a testimony too, Gideon?"
He was silent for a moment before he spoke again, "I had told you before that I am addicted to lustful materials too. I was a hypocrite, Jewel. Preaching the gospel yet hiding my sins in private, aren't that shameful?" he said and snickered.
Jewel was at lost of words. She couldn't relate to him because unlike him, she was not a believer and didn't know the truth before. It was hard to find words to comfort him because she didn't know what to say. Sighing, she looked beyond the horizon.
She could hear the crickets in the forest nearby and the occasional gust of wind as well as the crashing waves below the cliff. Suddenly, music echoed in the air when Gideon plucked the strings of the guitar.
Jewel heard his voice again and it's making her heart beat faster.
"For by faith, we believe that what is seen has been made by what is unseen," Gideon whispered. "Blessed are those who have not seen yet still believe."
She lowered her gaze. So that is faith means. She smiled and sighed again. Jewel could not affirm that her faith is as deep as other believers present in audi, but she knew that she somehow believe the gospel, and it might be as little as a mustard seed. But it was enough for now.
As Gideon continued to plucked on the guitar strings, Jewel closed her eyes and listened. Peace. What she felt was peace, unending peace that she couldn't explain. Her heartbeat quickened not because of Gideon's voice nor because of the knowledge that he was beside her.
There was much deeper than that of an emotion. As she listened to the lyrics, she suddenly remembered what happened back then at the Domesticated Forest in UDM, where Simoen tried to force himself on her.
She always blame him for what happened back then, putting all the blame on the man who molested her. Sure, Simoen was at fault but it didn't change the fact that she had something to do with it, a responsibility that she was trying hard to deny.
The reason why Simoen tried to force himself on her was her doing, she instigated him to do it. She was obsessed with what she was reading that she asked him to do it with her, and when she saw how obscene and fearful it was, she freaked out, hating Simoen for trying to force himself to her.
It was only Simoen who knew that she was not that 'clean' princess because she had her dark fantasies too. Even Gideon's knowledge is limited only to her sexual nightmares, believing that she was only a victim. When in fact, she loved her wet dreams and often daydream of men doing 'that' thing to her.
Jewel bit her lip and glanced at Gideon who was still singing while his eyes were closed. She felt guilty for not telling him all her secrets, but thinking of confessing all her dark fantasies to him, she felt ashamed.
Then she remembered his secrets that he confessed to her and alas, she felt confident to tell him.
"Gideon," she called after his song.
He opened his eyes and glanced at her. A small smile was playing on the corner of his lips. "Mmm..."
Jewel blinked when she felt her cheeks burned red. Gideon was as gorgeous as ever. Her husband, her man. She casted her gaze down and a soft smile appeared on her lips.
Right. She was his and he was hers. Why should she shy away from her husband? Didn't she tell him that in this world, he's the only person she would never run away from?
"I need to tell you something," she said, playing with the hem of her dress and looking over the bright moon on the horizon.
Then she slowly confessed to him the things she had done with Simoen, all their sensual acts, and all her dark fantasies. She didn't hide even a bit and just told him without stopping, fearing that when she stopped talking, she couldn't continue telling him all those nasty doings.
After the long talk, she drew a breathe. Jewel's heart became light after her confession. It didn't matter if Gideon would condemn her for it but what's important, she felt free.
She held those secrets for months that her conscience couldn't bear it anymore. And she's thankful that Gideon was with her to listen.
When she glanced at him, she saw him looking over the moon with a blank expression. Suddenly, Jewel felt disheartened. Of course, Gideon would be disappointed with her.
"I'm sorry," he said.
Jewel blinked and looked at him again, confused. "What?"
"I didn't let you trust me so you kept those secrets hidden from me. If only I was more compassionate to you, maybe you've told me your secrets earlier."
She was left dumbfounded by what he said for she didn't expect him to apologize. Her vision suddenly became blurry as tears brimmed in her eyes. A gentle smile slowly made its way to her lips as she reached for him and bury her face on his neck, crying silently.
"Thank you for not condemning me," she whispered.
Gideon raised a hand and rested it in her head, patting her. "Who am I to condemn you? I have my fair share of sins also, Jewel."
Jewel chuckled at his humour. She raised her head and smiled at him.
In the gentle breeze, under the soft moonlight, Gideon leaned and kissed her. Her heart pounded as she closed her eyes. As his lips moved, Jewel felt bliss she had never felt before.
It must be like in the fairytale or in the books she had read, where the female lead was being kissed by the hero. She felt butterflies in her stomach and she couldn't help but to tremble, not of fright but of anticipation.
Gideon must felt her trembling because his lips curved into a smile before cupping her face and deepened the kiss. Jewel couldn't take it all and she almost fainted because of lack of air making Gideon stopped what he was doing.
He released her and caressed her face. "You should learn how to breathe while we kiss. I don't want my wife to faint on me."
Jewel's cheeks flushed and she panted hard. "Hmmp!" She looked away in embarrassment.
Gideon pulled her for a hug as he chuckled, amused by Jewel's funny expression. "Alright. I'll teach you how," he whispered in her ear and held her nape, kissing her again.
Jewel wrapped her arms around his nape and closed her eyes, enjoying her husband's kiss.
She had never wish for a moment like this but maybe God had shown His mercy on her, bringing her close to the truth and giving her a reliable husband like Gideon. She was more than grateful.
Gazing at the bright moon, her heart leaped in gratefulness for the One who had given her everything she could ask for. If she's given a chance to go back in the past, she would not change anything because she had found what her heart was longing for.
THE END.