He slung the backpack on his back and followed Arnel down the bus. The sunlight kissed his cheek.
"Analisa's house is near Poblacion Market. She offered to take us to the camp," Arnel said.
"I see."
Arnel turned to him for a moment. "Angela told me you've already talked to Analisa."
"Yes." He clutched the backpack in the back and looked around. "We've settled. There's no fight between Analisa and I."
"No fight?" Arnel laughed. "You just told me you got along. And the woman was hurt. You gave her false hope."
Gideon nodded. sighing. "My fault."
"Well you know, Gid." He gestured for him to follow. Gideon walked after him. "She was your girlfriend but you got married without letting her know. Pitiful lady. She did hope you'll return to Mantalongon after few months."
"I've already apologized to Analisa." He sighed. "Let's not talk about that."
Arnel just shrugged his shoulders and fell silent. Gideon suddenly felt sad for Analisa and Jewel.
He didn’t let Analisa know he was getting married, nor did he tell Jewel that he had a girlfriend when they got married.
He knew his life's a mess right now. So he's looking forward to attend a conference to be enlightened.
It's been a few weeks since he last seen Jewel and even though he really wanted to serve her but he couldn't. He should fix himself. At time as this, he needed renewal.
He used to think that when he got married he would be whole. At least, that's what his father told him. And he understood his point well.
He was raised in the belief that a woman would complete a man. When he was still young, that saying made sense to him. That's why he became a womanizer.
He found happiness in having flings and making the bed as his playground. Well, at least for a while. Those nasty things gave him satisfaction for just an hour. And he will find another girl, another plaything, while expecting this new one will give him more satisfaction than the last one.
And for years he lived like a beast, a monster in bed. He was insatiable. Sex and girls were his life. But there was still missing. He tried to find it in sex but he couldn't find it in bed.
Then there came to his life. It was Angela. Angela's beliefs changed him but that didn't last long. When Angela and Sean got married, he went astray again because Angela went busy with her new life.
He was left alone in the battlefield. Days, weeks, and years of fighting alone and somehow... the enemy succeeded to kill his joy. He failed and he lost his joy. And the shallow in his heart came back again --- more deeper and lonelier than the last time he felt that.
So when his father proposed for an arranged marriage with the Mangubat, he agreed. He thought that having a wife might fill that shallow in his heart but he was wrong.
Jewel was the most untamed girl he had ever met. He was with many women but his wife didn't even reach his standard.
Gideon shook his head and smiled. Even though Jewel was not his standard, but he still loves her.
He looked up and saw an apartment type building just on the side of the large Public Dry Market building. Arnel pointed to what he was looking at. "Analisa's room is on the third floor. She just moved in last week."
"Did you ask the reason?"
"Ah, someone tried to rape her."
His steps halted and frowned at Arnel. "What?"
"Don't worry, I helped her. She's moved here so no one will be curious so don't ask her any more questions." Arnel smiled. "Your ex is sadistic so don't be too stubborn, Gid."
He looked at the third floor of the building and his fist clenched. He kept his mouth shut as they approached Analisa's lodgings.
They stopped in front of a door on the third floor. Arnel knocked. A few more minutes before someone opened the door and he saw the face of the woman he had not seen for several months.
She smiled at them. "Wait for awhile!" she said then closed the door again.
They waited again for few minutes. When the door opened again, he saw that Analisa was already dressed. There's also a backpack attached to the back. "Let's go!" then she passed by him and walked down the stairs first.
Arnel looked at the woman but Analisa didn't even look at him. The man just shrugged it off and followed the woman.
Analisa took them to a resthouse that was near the seashore. The outside of the gate was full of cars. The sun was not so high in the sky. He hadn't eaten breakfast yet so his stomach felt empty.
"Our group will be here. The others are at a beach resort on the other side of Sitio." For the first time, Analisa looked at Gideon. "Come, I know you haven't eaten your breakfast." She first stepped in the gate of the resthouse.
Gideon looked at Arnel as he tapped him on the shoulder. "She still knows, Gid. Alas, it doesn't look like Analisa hasn't moved on with you yet."
He kept his mouth shut and followed the woman. He put the backpack on the sofa in the living room and went to the kitchen. There, he saw Analisa busy putting the dishes on the table. She heated the lasagna in the microwave oven and served it on the table.
“They’re swimming at the beach that’s why you can’t see anyone here,” Analisa said. "There's only lasagna in the fridge so I've heated it up."
He smiled and sat down at the table. "Thank you." But Analisa did not respond. She kept staring at him so he cleared his throat. "Is there a problem?"
The woman averted her gaze. "J-Just..." Analisa casted her gaze down and sighed. "Just eat."
"I know when something is bothering you. Tell me."
"I'm thinking, Gideon ..." She looked at him again. "Why did you choose Jewel over your girlfriend? You said that you want to have a wife but why did you choose her and not me?"
"Ana, we ---"
"Please..." She blinked and wiped the tears that suddenly dripped from her eyes. "Don't say my name in that way."
He stared at the woman for a few minutes and lost his hunger in his mind. He stared at her in awe. They had talked about it before. She even told him that she forgave him for not telling the truth. But it never occured to him that Analisa will ask... why.
He saw out of the corner of his eye that Arnel was passing by, taking a glass, and sipping his water. He looked between the two of them before finally leaving the kitchen. That gave Gideon enough time to think for an answer.
He sighed. "It was a paper marriage, Ana."
The woman laughed. "I could be your wife but you choose another woman." She nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. "It hurt a lot because I was loyal to you, Gideon. I never entertained another guy. It was only you but you set me aside."
"I'm sorry."
His eyes widened in surprise when Analisa cried. Gideon stood but she raised her hand to stop him from approaching. "N-No, I'm okay." She drew a breathe. "Just eat. I know you're starving. If you need something, find me at the terrace." Then she took huge steps to leave the kitchen.
Gideon's jaw clenched and he sat on his chair again. He quietly ate the lasagna Analisa had prepared for him. But his conscience was not at peace.
He's at fault with Analisa and he wound not deny that. Gideon needed to fill the gap between him and the woman.
He quickly finished the lasagna and hastily washed the dishes before turning to the terrace in hope that he could talk to Analisa again, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw Arnel hugging the woman.
Gideon looked away and returned to the living room. Sitting on the sofa, he thought about the things he did to Analisa while they were still together. He sighed. In fact, it was not the first time he remember his ex-girlfriend because one of his colleague was also named Analisa.
It was just facing Analisa threw him off guard specially when she tried to bring up the past. Having a wife, he no longer thought of other women and he had no plans to cheat on his wife. It's unfair for Jewel.