“Do you believe in God?”
“…… What?”
On a certain afternoon. As sheer boredom drove Linbel-san to surveil anti-dark elf BBS threads (orthodox elves MOE threads), one of the top three lines most troubling to hear while on the street is directed towards her.
“I beg your pardon, that came out from sheer habit. I am a priest serving in Galdeia Kingdom, my name is Natan. I have been guided here by a foreign deity who named herself as Amaterasu-sama, but…… Where is this place? I was told by her that I would be sent to the location where this country’s powerbrokers convened.”
“Right now the Diet is not in session. We did set up a schedule to keep someone here in shifts, but to think that she really sent someone.”
Currently tilting his head in puzzlement is a thin priest, Natan-san.
Apparently Amaterasu-sama did not know that the Diet is not in session, and had arranged a reverse-summoning without checking.
There’s a limit to carelessness, but Linbel-san is an adult (grandma) with a big heart so her faith in Amaterasu-sama won’t be shaken over something of this level.
“Fumu. So they are at rest. I apologize for having caused you unnecessary trouble.”
“Don’t worry about it. Today Adachi should be just downtown. I’ll contact him, so you just find a random seat in the meanwhile.”
So saying, Linbel-san begins fiddling with her smartphone. I’m sure no one cares, but how did ‘smartphone’ get abbreviated to ‘smaho’ anyways? 1
“Alright, before Adachi arrives, let me just generally ask about your situation. It seems to me that you came to Japan of your own will, so that probably means something had happened back home that made it hard for you to stay, right?”
“It is as you say. To my chagrin, I had caused some trouble with the feudal lord of the location of my place of appointment.”
“Hou? You seem like the type who properly understands how to make your way in society though.”
Though the concept might sound a bit strange to Japanese people, religion is oftentimes intricately intertwined with politics, and depending on the place might even be more influential than nobility.
Even on earth, Heinrich IV of the Holy Roman Empire also once picked a fight with the Church, in response to which the Pope just excommunicated him and all surrounding countries instantaneously turned into enemies. With no other option left, he had to beg the Pope personally for forgiveness. 2
Yes, it as the famous Humiliation of Canossa.3 It is most likely unrelated to the Canossa Organization that is famous in another way entirely.4
“It’s not exactly a story I’m proud of. See, the thing is that in certain places in Galdeia, there is a thing called the Marriage Tax.”
“Marriage Tax? Ahh, that law where the newlyweds have to pay the lord a tax or else the lord can claim the bride’s first night.” 5
‘Right of the First Night’ is an incomprehensible right of feudal lords or those in charge over a region to claim a bride’s first night.
Though it is incomprehensible, it was an actual thing in certain places in medieval Europe. And in order to prevent this, the newlyweds had to pay a tax (or a fine, depends on how you see it), which is called the Marriage Tax.
“It is the story of a pitiful man. He was too poor to pay the Marriage Tax, and so the feudal lord’s soldiers forcefully dragged his new wife away from before his eyes.”
“Don’t tell me you stormed into the lord’s residence to save her?”
“Perish the thought. I do not have such courage within me.”
Linbel-san’s words that were meant half as a joke is returned by a smile from Natan-san.
“In the first place, the new queen consort of Galdeia is said to be so competent that she dominates the king himself, and that she is one so fastidious that she would not forgive any signs of infidelity. If I petition Her Imperial Majesty, than surely she will abolish something like the Marriage Tax. At least, that’s what I thought when I sent a letter to her.”
“And then?”
“Then the feudal lord was sunk by Ouhi-sama’s fist.”
“How did it turn out like that?!”
Normally this is the part where the lord is forced to bow to imperial dignity or authority, but Galdeia’s queen consort is the ultra short-tempered Asahi-san so there’s no helping it.
When Ouhi-sama is pissed, it’s a super express line to rampage on the level where even Onee would be hard pressed to stop it.
“However, though Marriage Tax is a terrible law, it was still a law. Thus the king said that he has no grounds to dismiss the feudal lord on, and Ouhi-sama could only abolish the law itself. She did beat up the feudal lord but could not execute him in the end.”
“Did you just nonchalantly say something quite horrifying with a gentle face?”
Natan-san with a face that looks harmless to man and beast turns out to be in support of the death penalty. He’s a man of justice, so it probably stands to reason that he’s harsh on evil. Maybe.
“Well anyways, that’s what happened. Despite being a priest, I am but a man in the employ of an organization. My request for a reassignment to a different location was rejected, and I was just in the middle of mulling over what to do next when Amaterasu-sama spoke to me in an oracle.”
“And then?”
“And so I decided. If I’m going to have faith anyways, I might as well have faith in a beautiful bishoujo rather than an ossan.”
“It seems that we need to have a rather serious talk, you and I.”
Cuteness is justice. Natan-san is passionately expounding on something with clenched fists. But by doing so, he has now been locked on by Linbel(Miko)-san.
Today, too, Japan is at peace.
・
・
・
“Eh? The National Diet isn’t in session the entire year round?”
“Of course not, duh.”
At that time, in Takamagahara.
The Amaterasu-sama who is ignorant of the ways of the world just received a tsukkomi from Tsukuyomi-sama.
“Goodness. Things turned out fine in the end because that dark elf happened to be there. Whatever would you have done if she wasn’t there?”
“A-, as expected of my miko.”
“……”
“…… I’m sorry.”
Amaterasu-sama tried her very best to laugh it off. But unlike his usual self, Tsukuyomi-sama looks almost on the verge of actually losing his temper, so she obediently apologizes for her mistake.
People who are normally quiet are scary when they get angry, but people who are normally scary are even more scary when they get angry.
“How about let’s call Omoikane over to do some studying.”
“Eh? Like, right now?”
“I’ll ask Toyoukehime to prepare some pudding for your dinner if you work hard.”
“Call him right away!”
Once again, Amaterasu-sama is energetically rolling around within Tsukuyomi-sama’s palm.
Today, too, Takamagahara is at peace.
1 Smartphone → Smartpho → Smarpho → Smaho
2 This is in reference to the Investiture Controversy. Here’s the Wiki page on it.
3 The name of Heinrich IV’s trek to where the Pope was staying.
4 There is a Japanese internet conspiracy theory that there is an underground massive organization controlling the world from the shadows, and its front is Microsoft.
5 More commonly known as jus primae noctis. This is supposed a practice with references all the way back to Gilgamesh, though other scholars argue it’s mere myth.