regret 2
Dear Medusa
People have usually no idea what they have lost until the thing has gone far away from their hands and farther from heart. You were a pearl in my palm. Only person in the world that truly loved me unconditionally. Even if I was the monster you were the single soul that saw beyond that monstrosity but just look at the way I repaid you with nothing but sorrow and misery in your life.
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I did not destroyed our relationship what our future would have looked like if I had remained your father, the person who was meant to love you from the bottom of my heart instead of the Rogue king who took you to thousands and thousands of wars, made you kill innumerable people and get swallowed by the darkness.
How could I never see your misery and sorrows that made you weep every single night. What kind of a person I was? was I even a human or not because how could I see my own child.. the one with my blood running through their veins having such terrible life.
Today was the day that I realised that maybe it wasn't your goal....... maybe it wasn't your dream to achieve the Throne of the werewolf kingdom but it was my ambition that pushed you in the pit of fire myself.
Those Rogues, the creatures of night whom the people fear I made them fear you. Now that I think clearly I realise that them being terrified of you was what I have always wanted I thought that people are terrified of monarchs which is because the mind of a ruler is always too difficult to read and thus I made you into a weapon.
After so many years losing so much even after I won the war and established you on the Throne as the queen I realise after all this chaos and mayhem that I am unable to return your childhood to you that all that anguish and agony that I gave you was because of my own ambitions..i am unable to compensate.
I cannot even come to meet you.... cannot make myself see you in the eye ashamed of what I have become, I hate myself. Once I killed my mate for my child and it was all worth it but now when I look into the mirror I find no purpose of my life, I am tired… exhausted even because nothing brings peace to my soul. Medusa you are my peace my calm and happiness even though nothing went right in my life.
The Garrison came today announcing to all the werewolf kingdom that you have borne a daughter, my granddaughter…… but I do not have it in myself. I don't dare to come even a bit closer to you I'm afraid that my shadow even would dirty the air which you breathe in.
In all my life I have never felt so helpless and this misery is all my doing I had a beautiful daughter… I had you Medusa, my baby grown so much to have a daughter herself.
You were 8 years old and still you followed me not even once thinking that the outside world will not bring you luxury you never carved it.
You carved for love care and affection and I'm glad… happy that you have got it after all you have suffered from. I am happy that you made it worthy enough to be yours you deserve this throne nobody deserves it more than you.
You deserve all the smiles and happiness that comes your way because a person who has made you so weak in the name of making you strong and yet you came out of it as a Queen.
I had mentally destroyed you and thought that I would create a great Warrior. I have never even known what is a warrior… never know what is to fight in a battle because what I was fighting all these years was myself.
For all these years what I have done cannot be forsaken and forgiven even though you forgive me and take me back… call me your father I know that they would always be a numbness, a hollow place in your heart that would never accept me again but I am proud….. I have always been proud of you my heart feels so full while writing this but I know that you would always walk on the path of righteousness you will care about your subject take care of the commoners.
I don't even know how to describe the courage and the kindness in your heart even after suffering so much you knew what was right.
You took your time you yourself and then went back to your mate. Even though we may never meet each other again but I am sending this feather of a Phoenix, this was a family heirloom, I was going to give it to you at your marriage but unfortunately the chance never came now I want to give it to my granddaughter so that she may grow up and be like this, flying high and almighty but with the stability of soil, never falling never failing never getting defeated.
She might be as victorious as you and as brave as Rhysand, and when the day comes she will rule his Kingdom with love and affection but also with an iron fist, may she be the first of her name. The people will call her the queen of light who reigns the darkness.