I sat on the bed waiting for Lucian to come after eating dinner without him yet another night. There were a lot of things we needed to talk about but I didn't want to fight with him again.
Because that's what you think about me. You think I am a beast who beats and kills people then you would think that I can burn them as well right?
His voice echoed in my head. I never thought of him as a beast I just thought that he was different. He looked hurt before walking out of the dining room as if he didn't want to see me again and I wondered if he really wouldn't come. Would I have to sleep alone again? I didn't even get the chance to thank him for bringing Lydia and Ylva.
I decided not to sleep alone and go look for him. I looked everywhere but couldn't find him. Where could he be?
"Do you know where I can find his highness?" I asked a guard.
"He is in the barn, Your highness."
I made my way to the barn where I found Lucian feeding his horse. It was dark inside and the only light came from the full moon. As if sensing my presence he looked around until his eyes landed on me.
"I was looking for you," I said walking closer to him.
"Why?" he asked clapping his horse.
"It's just that we have been fighting a lot lately and we never spend time together...I never see you these days and I just...I just.."
"You just what?" he said taking a step closer.
"I just want to spend time with you"
"Why?"
"What do you mean by why?" I said frustrated at his questions.
Grabbing my arm he pulled me closer. "Why means why? why do you want to spend time with me? do you like me? do you miss me? do you want me? you're not scared anymore? that I might kill you, beat you, or burn you?" I could hear the hurt in his voice.
"Yes, you scare me sometimes but you treat me well too."
He didn't seem satisfied with my answer but his eyes softened and he let go of my arm " It's late you should go to sleep, I will stay here for a while" he finally said.
"I will stay with you" I insisted.
He opened his mouth to protest but said nothing turning his attention to his horse. I sat down on a haystack nearby where I could still see him and talk to him.
"Thank you for bringing my maids," I said but got no response. I tried to come up with something to talk about while my eyes studied him in the darkness. He looked different as if he belonged to the darkness or was part of it.
"Do you want to go for a ride?" he suddenly asked.
"Yes," I said excited but we were wearing our royal clothes. As if reading my thoughts "there is knitwear right there" he said pointing to the corner of the barn. I saw nothing because it was too dark but walking closer I saw them. How could he see them from far away? Or maybe he already knew they were there.
I turned around to ask where I would change but walked almost into his chest.
"You scared me."
"I am sorry. I just thought you would need help getting out of your dress" he explained.
"You don't expect me to change here?"
"Why not? No one is here and it's dark" he smirked. It was true. I couldn't see him clearly.
"I can manage myself"
"Alright, just call for me if you need help," he said and left.
I looked around to see that he wasn't nearby and began to undress, but yes it was really hard to untangle the ropes on the back of my dress and my arms began to hurt.
"Are you sure you don't need help?" Lucian's voice came from behind as he walked closer. "Let me help you" he said and started to untie the back of my dress without waiting for a reply. Now and then his hand would touch my bare skin while untying " I will wait for you outside" he said when he was done.
The clothes were a bit too big for me but it didn't bother me. Lucian was waiting outside with his horse when I came out of the barn.
"Is there any particular place you want to go?" he asked.
"Anywhere is fine," I said.
He helped me up on the horse and we rode off in the night. I have never felt so free before. We went to the market and walked among common people and I was so fascinated by the whole thing because I had never been to a market before and never walked among common people. Then we rode into the woods.
"What are we doing here?" I asked.
"I want to show you something," he said and after a while, we came to a place in the woods where many small yellow lights were flying over the whole place.
"What is this?" I asked while Lucian helped me down.
"It's fireflies. Do you know why they glow?"
"No"
"It's to attract mates or prey." He explained.
I looked at then fascinated. I never knew these things existed.
"They are beautiful," I said.
"Not as much as you are," he said walking right behind me.
I stopped and turned around. Our eyes met and like every time I look into his eyes I felt a force pulling me toward him, making me forget everything else. I wondered if he knew what kind of effect his eyes had on me.
"Your eyes are burning" I whispered when I could finally speak.
He grabbed the back of my head, pulling my face close to his. I could feel his warm breath on my face and butterflies in my stomach.
"Not only are my eyes burning, my whole body is burning with need Hazel," he says as his gaze travels down to my lips.
I open my mouth to fill my lungs with air and my ears get flooded by the pounding sound of my heart. He slowly leans in and presses his lips on mine. The touch is soft and gentle but as soon as our lips touch he pushes me away and takes two long steps back.