"Alright, Hammer, let Sengoku handle the Shichibukai situation. Prepare to accompany me to Mary Geoise."
Hammer's eyes lit up instantly.
"Oh? Is the auction ready? Can I finally scam the Celestial Dragons out in the open?"
Everyone's expressions twitched simultaneously.
This guy had somehow morphed into a money-grubbing miser.
"Hammer, since when did you become so greedy? Where's your passion? Your spirit?"
Kuzan grabbed Hammer's shoulders and began shaking him violently, turning him into a human maraca.
"Stop! Damn it, Chicken Boy!"
Under Hammer's howls, Kuzan stopped, looking at him expectantly.
But the next second, he was stunned.
"Kuzan, you're done for. You disrespected your superior!"
"I'll have you know, my goal is to become Logistics Chief! The Marine's top finance official!"
"And you dare treat me ? Careful, or I'll deny every single funding request of yours! I'll assign you a broken-down bicycle and no warship access!"
"Yes, that's it! You're an Ice Man anyway, you won't drown even if you fall into the sea. Just a bicycle! I'll forge it myself! You'll love it!"
Then Hammer actually pulled a notebook from his coat and started writing.
Kuzan was dumbfounded, brain going totally cold.
"Nooo! Hammer-san! I need a battleship! I need good weapons!"
"I'm sorry!" Hammer showed no sympathy, finished writing, and tried to tuck the notebook back into his coat.
But suddenly, a big hand snatched it away. Garp had taken it.
"Let me see what you're writing in here..."
"Ahh! No! Garp, give it back!"
Seeing his precious notebook in Garp's hands, Hammer panicked, rushing to grab it, but how could he beat Garp? Not a chance.
Garp, not one to back down, started reading aloud.
"Hammer's Logistics Chief Notebook. Oh? Already calling yourself the Logistics Chief? Not bad, Hammer."
"Hmm… starting from the last page… as expected, this one's about Kuzan. One shitty bicycle... Bwaahaha! You really noted that down!"
"Let's see… 'Borsalino: 8-foot stylized weapon... must be paired with glasses that force precise aiming!' Starred and bolded, special priority, huh? Hahahaha!"
"HAHAHAHAHA! Borsalino, so this is part of your legacy?"
Borsalino, who was previously laughing along, immediately stopped and stared at Hammer with wide eyes, making him sweat bullets.
"Hammer-kun~… you even wrote about me. That's… very upsetting."
But it wasn't over. Seeing that Garp was about to keep reading, Hammer exploded.
"OLD MAN! Shut up already!"
A hammer in his hand, Hammer lashed out, but Garp activated Armament Haki over both hands.
"You little brat, trying to arm-wrestle with me?!"
With a single hand, Garp smashed Hammer's attack like it was nothing. Then, with a sweeping kick and a downward press, he pinned Hammer to the ground.
"Oww! Garp, are you for real?!"
"What, you want me to fake it? Kuzan, Borsalino, come hold him down. I'm not done reading!"
Kuzan and Borsalino, who were enjoying the show, couldn't resist anymore. At Garp's cue, they eagerly moved in.
"Cool down a bit, Hammer-san."
"Speed has weight, Hammer-kun~. Prepare to bear a weight you were never meant to carry~."
Blue and yellow flashes landed on Hammer, pinning him to the floor with ice and light.
"Guys, come on! That notebook was a joke, okay? Don't take it seriously!"
Hammer struggled in vain, but Garp wouldn't stop. He picked the notebook back up and kept reading.
"Oh? Next one is… me?"
"Let's see… WHAT?! Why do I have two stars?!"
'Garp… made me repair ships… got me slashed by Roger… stole my gauntlets…'
"Hey! All brutally honest, huh?"
[Deduct five years of pension??? Halve all military supplies???]
"WHAT THE HELL, Hammer?! You've got some real evil thoughts!"
Garp threw the notebook aside and lunged, fists the size of boulders pounding down.
"Take my Fist of Love! HYA!"
"OW! Old man, not the face!!"
Sengoku watched the chaos in his office with dead eyes, but curiosity got the better of him. He bent down, picked up the notebook, and started flipping through it like Garp did.
After Garp came Fleet Admiral Kong, Sengoku looked up at him, who nodded grimly.
Kong instantly had black lines on his forehead. 'Why did I have a star too??'
'Ordered Sengoku to scam me… stole my sword… blocked my promotion… Oh well, he's about to retire, I'll just scam a few hundred million berries from him and be done with it.'
Compared to the others, Kong got off easy.
But the man himself didn't see it that way. His smile froze, and a sinister aura began radiating from him.
"Hold him down! Take this!"
"I WAS WRONG! Old Man Kong! I won't want your money anymore! OW! I SAID NOT THE FACE!"
Sengoku sighed as Hammer got pinned by three people, then kept reading.
And then, his own name appeared.
His face instantly froze.
Vice Admiral Tsuru saw his reaction and quickly looked at the notebook, reading aloud without thinking.
"Sengoku… three stars… specially marked…"
'Always screws me over… sends me on missions where I get beat up… ordered me to fight Shiki… got me clobbered by that bastard Dragon… never sends backup in time… withholds my money… no promotion… heartless exploitation of my worth…'
'Must deduct ten years of his pension. Even after retirement, he should work to repay his debts. All his requests for military goods must go through the strictest review. If anything's not compliant, reject it. Cancel warship maintenance. Make him pay out of pocket. Halve his living expenses and salary. After all, he's a future Fleet Admiral; he should set an example.'
With every word, Sengoku's face darkened.
By the time Tsuru mentioned pension deductions, Sengoku started glowing gold.
He transformed into his giant golden Buddha form, his afro hair brushing the ceiling.
Conqueror's Haki exploded in all directions. Garp and Kong wisely each grabbed an arm of Hammer and lifted him up.
Dripping with sweat, Hammer stammered:
"Sengoku… if I said I was just messing around… would you believe me?"
He got a soft chuckle in response.
"Hehehe… you think I'd believe that?"
Hammer you, BASTARD! The Buddha only smiles once. Too bad, you won't see it. Prepare yourself! BUDDHA IMPACT!!"
With the shockwave, Hammer was blasted out of the office, man and wall together, flying through the air in a perfect arc.
If you enjoy the story, my p@treon is 30 chapters ahead.
[email protected]/DaoistJinzu