Chapter 72 blame game
Turvi's pov
I opened my eyes and closed them again. The light is irritating my eyes.
I again open my eyes slowly trying to adjust with the bright light.
I am in my room and few machines are attached to my body.
I don't remember completely what happened last time but I only remember that I had pain in my lower abdomen and I was bleeding.
Bleeding? My babies?
I looked at my stomach and found it flat. No no it can't happen..
"Aaryav! Aaryav where are you?" I screamed and started to cry
My babies! I can't live without them…
"Butterfly you're awake." Aaryav said coming from outside
"My babies what happened to them? Why is my bump not present? Why is it flat? Tell me." I asked him or better demanded from him
"Calm down Butterfly, this much stress isn't good for you." He said
"Answer my questions Aaryav I won't calm down until I know that my babies are safe." I told him
"You need to sleep again." He said and I shook my head
I tried to get up but couldn't as I felt pain on my lower body.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing huh? Don't try my patience level butterfly." He said
"I'm begging you please tell me. What happened? Please!" I said joining my hands in front of him
"Butterfly I will tell you everything but calm down first and let the doctor check you ok?" he told me and I nodded because that's the last option I have
He won't tell me anything before I do what he says.
The doctor came to check me.
"She is a fine master but extra stress can harm her." The doctor said
Why she isn't saying anything about my babies?
"Doctor how are my babies doing? You didn't say anything to me about them or ask about them. They are fine right?" I asked her but she looked somewhere else
"Doctor I'm asking you something. Please answer me. " I pleaded her
Why does no one say anything to me?
"Can you feel them inside your butterfly?" Aaryav asked and I shook my head
"Then doesn't it give you the answers you're asking from us? Isn't it clear that we have lost our babies and that too because of you." He said and I froze on my spot
Because of me? What did he mean because of me? And It's not true. My babies can't leave me.
They are my reason to live; they can't leave me alone like others.
" What do you mean by because of me? And my babies aren't gone you're lying. They must be delivered and somewhere else right?" I asked him but he shook his head and sat beside me
Doctor has left us alone to talk.
"Butterfly no matter how bitter the truth is but it's true that you have miscarried them and it's your fault. You ate something that you're not supposed to eat and thus this happened if you were a little careful then it would not happen and top of it they have removed your uterus as well. Because it was infected and could have led to something dangerous later on so they removed it. It's all your fault butterfly so don't scream and blame others for something that you did yourself. It's your fault that you can't become a mother and with that I can't become a father as well I won't get my heir who will rule after me. Because I will never touch someone else other than you nor I want a baby from someone that is not you. Did I scream at you or blame you for once? Did I? "he asked me but I couldn't reply anything
I killed my babies. I killed them. I can't become a mother ever again. I lost the ability of being a mother.
I am really a bad omen, nothing stays with me permanently.
My mother, my family, my sister's parents , my love and now my babies as well. I killed them. I lost them. All because of me. It's all because of me. I'm a bad omen yes I kill everyone Momma was right I am walking destruction. Wherever I will go I will cause destruction to them and destroy the lives of my loved ones.
I destroyed everything now I don't want to stay alive. Now I'm useless for Aaryav as well. Who will want a barren girl in their life?
He will kill me and discard me. But what if he just brings someone else and marries her in my presence? What will I do? I can't Even stop him.
He will be gone as well. Everyone will leave me alone. I deserve it. I deserve all of it.
"Butterfly are you listening to me?" Aaryav asked, shaking me, breaking the chain of thoughts that are roaming in my mind.
I didn't hear anything he said I was busy in
"Leave me alone, I don't want to talk with you." I told him and turn my back towards him
"I won't leave you alone ever butterfly. You have to accept the truth and move on in life. I am still here for you. I am enough for you. My love is enough for you. You don't need anyone else." Aaryav said but I looked at the baby posters that I forced him to hang in our room
I wanted to have cute babies like them. But like my other dreams this dream is also broken.
None of my dreams were fulfilled either.
" I want to take shower," I told him looking blankly
"You can't. Your stitches are still raw. If they come in contact with water then it will be dangerous." He said and I nodded mutely
"I want to get rid of this. Remove these posters and machines from here i dont want any of it here." I told him blankly
I don't want any of it here. I don't want any reminder of my loss.
"OK I will, but you won't do anything stupid butterfly because if you did then mind my words you won't like the consequences at all." He said and nodded obediently without giving a hint about what is roaming in my head.