“What you have with Doc Darryl was just memories. That’s all you have. And these pictures.” Mikha waved her hand on Doc Darryl’s pictures that Cheska printed, framed, and hung up on the wall of her room. “And his stories. You don't even know if those were all true. I thought you have thrown them away already.”
She blocked Mikha when her friend approached Doc Darryl’s pictures. “Please. Let them alone.” Without those pictures, she felt empty. And Doc Darryl’s presence in her life filled that void.
"You have to move on," Mikha said in a gentle voice.
"If I only knew how I would have done it." She looked, sadness and unshed tears in her eyes. “I went out on a date, just like you all wanted. I tried to be normal but I still miss Doc Darryl. What else do you want me to move on? Because I'm so tired of these too.”
"I'm sorry," Mikha whispered and hugged her. Cheska cried on her shoulder.
This was the only time she was able to cry and voice out her feelings to her friend. Whenever Mikha was preaching to her before, she would just nod in silence. Cheska always thought there was something wrong with her. That she should just keep her feelings to herself. It was just now that she exploded like this. Even if everyone says that her love was just dense and immature, that’s how she truly feels. Who cares about mature or immature love? Love is love. She doesn’t care what everyone else says.
“I’ve been so hard on you, Czech. I think you have to properly say goodbye to Doc Darryl,” Mikha said.
"What do you mean?"
"You need some closure." Her friend loosened her embrace. “Do you remember when Doc Darryl just died? You wanted to visit him in Korea but we still don’t have enough money because we’re still just students then. You said you wanted to save money so you could go to Korea to visit his grave. You still want to go?”
Cheska blinked and tried to remember the conversation they had had before. “I-I've forgotten about that. Because I also really want to move on. I tried not to think about him… And I don’t want you to find out that I wanted to go there to visit his grave because I don’t want to hear you say that I’m crazy and have some sort of psychological disorder.”
Mikha lightly tapped Cheska’s cheek. “Silly. Aren’t you still used to me? You weren’t able to tell him what you wanted to say. He was never a tangible part of your life. You only have pictures of him, chats, and emails. Maybe if you see his grave, you’ll finally be free from his memories. Go to the places you would have wanted to visit if he’s still alive.”
“T-that would be okay? You wouldn’t think I'm crazy?”
"No, of course not." Mikha smiled and squeezed Cheska’s shoulder. “I am sorry if I am so hard on you sometimes. I just want to see you as happy as I am. Have a normal life. Have a boyfriend who will be with you and will make you happy. You're right, you shouldn’t be running away from Doc Darryl's memories. If you go to Korea, you can visit his grave and do the things you and Doc Darryl would have done. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll finally be free from him.”
Cheska covered her mouth and shed tears again. “I can finally visit him in Korea. I’ve been wanting to. But when? The only work leave I have filed at the office was two months from now. But that was for our bonding in Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand for two weeks. It would be our first time going on a vacation together outside the country. We have been planning that for a long time.”
“There’s always a next time. Those countries will not be going anywhere. While you need to visit Doc Darryl’s grave as soon as possible. It was long overdue. You should have done it a long time ago.”
"Thank you for being considerate."
“Yes. And I wouldn’t force you to go out on a date until you come back from Korea. I’ll also ask Tita Medy not to set you up on a date with just random men.”
“That would be great.” She grabbed her friend’s hand and squeezed it tight. “Thank you. And who knows, maybe I can open up my heart again after I come back from Korea.”
“Take your time. So, shall we book your flight?”
Cheska nodded and glanced at the picture of Doc Darryl smiling while playing in the snow. Just wait for me, Doc Darryl. We’ll be able to meet soon.