“Thanks,” she said, as she grabbed the canned coffee.
The VIP seat that Maru talked about was at the side of the stage. It was where the boxes with plastic chairs and blankets were. In a place restricted to the audience, she put a blanket over her legs and watched the stage.
‘So Hanna-unni’s doing it as well.’
Hanna showed up to the practice room from time to time during the beginning of the semester, but she didn’t show up even once ever since summer began. As Myunghwa High’s acting club seniors sometimes showed up even after graduation, it was always noisy even during summer holidays, and at the center was Hanna. She wondered what was going on since Hanna didn’t show up for more than half a year.
She sniffed once before drinking the coffee. Now that she thought about it, she was able to meet Maru properly thanks to Hanna.
She looked at Maru who stood next to Hanna. When that cheeky guy showed up to her appointment with Hanna, she was startled out of her wits. Even now, she just laughed whenever she thought about it.
Who would’ve thought they would end up dating?
“No, that’s not it. Let’s become more honest. You know? I get angry when I can’t do what I want to do. I get annoyed when there’s a menu I want but someone recommends something else. When that happens, I tell them: I like cheonggukjang[1] better. Do you really think that your girlfriend, who’s sitting right over there, really gladly yields to you whenever she does?”
“Uhm, that’s….”
“You don’t have to hold back. The only people here are you, the one you love, and a quack doctor who loves to chat. There seems to be something like eyes floating around, but you don’t need to mind those. It’s not like you’re going to see them again after this. The only one you need to care about is the man in front of you.”
She breathed out a warm breath as her eyes chased Ganghwan’s hands. Ganghwan was pointing at the man who came up to the stage, as well as the lady sitting in the front row.
The man who originally came up to boast that his girlfriend was kind and that she was a good person who always listened to his words was now looking at his girlfriend with eyes full of worry.
It was a nervous silence. Everyone, including her, was staring holes into the lady’s mouth. She thought that this was a play filled with light jokes and dynamic skits, but it seemed that it wasn’t that light-hearted. Well, the post on Acting Street said that the essence of this play was ‘the uncomfortable truth and an even more uncomfortable fact’.
“Actually, yielding itself isn’t that fun.”
As it was a small voice, it probably wasn’t heard by the rest of the audience. Ganghwan stood at the edge of the stage and kneeled down on one knee.
“Would you like to talk on the stage? I’m not forcing you or anything. However, you need to keep this in mind: what we want to hear from you on the stage are not lies.”
Maru gave the microphone to the lady. The lady hesitated for a little before coming up on the stage with a nod. People’s applause followed.
“Congratulations,” Ganghwan said.
When the actors on stage applauded, the audience also cheered and followed suit.
“Thank you. We’ll strive our best to live just as much as you cheered for us. Oh, that’s not it. Anyway, whenever he tells me that, I always tell him to try. Of course, I’m not saying that light-heartedly. I’m always scared whenever I say it. Marriage is a reality after all. Both of us will be thirty in a while, we’ll have a baby, and when that happens money will become extremely important. Even more than now.”
The woman put her hand on her c.h.e.s.t in nervousness and heaved out a shaky breath. The breath spread around through the microphone. She was unable to continue speaking for a while. The man sitting on the chair approached her and grabbed her hand right at that time.
The two took the center stage, and the four actors that filled the stage until just now took a step aside. The sun had completely set and the skies had darkened. The faint lights installed on the walls of the Arts Theater lit the stage up.
“But there’s only one life, isn’t there? Our life together may be important, but so is my husband’s life. I do not want him to sacrifice himself for me, and the child. It will be hard, yes. Giving up on a stable job and starting anew will definitely be hard. We might lack money and perhaps one of us, no, both of us might have to break our savings account. We might regret it. Why were we so reckless back then? But I don’t want to force my husband to bend himself for the reason that it’s for ‘us’.”
Her breath was abated as she looked at the lady. The lady’s voice sounded like she was crying.
“I keep digressing. The original question was about yielding, right? I’m also quite greedy. I want to wear pretty clothes, buy pretty shoes if I see them, and I’m also interested a lot in interior design, so I always imagine the house we’ll live in and decorate it in my mind. However, there’s one thing that makes me happy above all else. It’s this man’s smile. When this man’s smiling like an idiot when I’m unhappy, I feel really good for some reason. All of the pressure from my problems are alleviated thanks to his smile. The opposite is true as well, when I see him sad, I don’t feel happy no matter how pretty the clothes I’m wearing are, and no matter what kind of delicious food I eat. Yielding? I’m not doing that because I’m kind. It’s all for myself. It’s because I feel hurt when he’s crying, and I have it several times harder when he is having a hard time. That’s why I try to let him do whatever he wants.”
But I am a little afraid - she was about to continue when she put the microphone down and started wiping her eyes. While the man was at a loss on what to do, she could see Maru pushing the man’s back. The man, who took a step without knowing, took another step of his own will and hugged the lady that was crying.
She, who was watching the whole scene, was a little envious of the two people’s love and took a glance at Maru. At that moment, she had the feeling that the smile on his face looked a little m.a.t.u.r.e.
“Huh?”
She could feel tears dropping from her eyes. It wasn’t that her eyes had dried out due to the wind. It wasn’t because of the beautiful couple who would become married soon either. The tears just fell without any reason at all.
Why was she like this? The droplets kept falling. She hurriedly took out a tissue from her bag. It was peculiar. She was crying all of a sudden.
She knew that she was a girl with a lot of tears, but she also knew that she wasn’t so feeble that she would start crying for no reason.
She crouched down in panic and raised her blanket. She tried touching the pile of plastic chairs and also tried ripping out the fluff on the blanket as well.
She thought that she had calmed down, but for some reason, she started crying again. She really didn’t feel sad at all. In fact, she felt jealous of the couple in front of her. But why were there tears?
Mysterious tears flowed out of her eyes for around a minute. She kept fidgeting as she wiped her tears off in fear that Maru on the stage might take notice.
“Why am I like this?” She muttered to herself after her seemingly endless tears stopped.
She looked at the wet tissue in a daze before taking out a hand mirror from her bag. Her eyes reflected in the mirror were bloodshot.
‘It’s good that I didn’t put on thick makeup.’
The faint traces of tears were at a level where she could just wipe them off by rubbing with her hands. She put the mirror and the tissue in her bag before taking a deep breath. A soft wind brushed past her eyes, but perhaps due to the moisture from the tears, it felt very cold.
Meanwhile, the couple on stage thanked each other and were getting ready to leave the stage. The slight unease on the lady’s face was gone now. She didn’t know what promise the man made to her, but she felt that it was good that things turned out well.
She looked at the couple that went down after receiving presents. She cried when she looked at the two people and Maru together. Did she subconsciously feel sad about that scene?
“That’s not it though.”
She felt extremely fresh right now to the point that she could smile. There was no room for any tears to b.u.t.t in. She pressed down on her eyes with her palms. Was she tired because of shooting the sitcom? She raised her head after the light massage to find out that Maru was looking at her with confusion.
She made an awkward smile and just shrugged as though to indicate that nothing had happened. There was no way Maru would be able to find tears which were blown away by the wind.
After watching her for a while, Maru chuckled before looking at the audience again. It was fortunate for her. He would’ve definitely been worried if he found out that she had cried for no reason.
Just as she thought that she caught a glimpse of a lady standing opposite to her. That woman, who was wearing a white suit, was holding a pocket watch in her hands, and she was looking at her with eyes that seemed to be lacking something.
The figure looked familiar. No, it was a complete stranger. She didn’t get it. That woman looked pretty, yet not pretty, and she felt that she had seen her somewhere before, yet it also felt like she had never met her before.
‘Who’s that?’
Since she was staring at her, she looked around to see if there was anyone around, but they were the only people there.
She wondered if the woman was looking at her, but when she turned to look at the woman again, the woman had disappeared. She tilted her head and looked at the other side of the stage, but the woman in a white suit couldn’t be seen anymore.
No, wait. A white suit and a pocket watch?
That kind of outfit was way too eye-catching. She wondered if she made a mistake.
At that moment, she had the feeling that she had forgotten about something important. What was this feeling? She felt as though she had forgotten something perhaps more important than her own life, and had just remembered it.
“What’s wrong?”
“With what?”
“You were in a daze.”
“It was fun. It was touching as well.”
“You’re not hurt anywhere?”
“I’m completely fine, thanks.”
She looked directly into Maru’s eyes that were staring at her. When she did, Maru nodded.
“If you feel cold, just take out another blanket. The wind is cold.”
“Oh, okay.”
“We’re going to finish soon so wait just a little more.”
The thoughts about the woman in a white suit, the tears, and that strange sensation had all disappeared.
[1] Not sure how to describe this, so here’s a wikipedia article instead.