Faye Pov
I was losing Arius, it became clearer when Gwenn came out of Arius room when I delivered the news of his father demise. I was not expecting to see Gwenn but I felt betrayed, since when did I exchange roles with Gwenn and without all the benefits too. She is the one who is supposed to be hated by Arius, I am the one who should be leaving Arius room with a smile. I should be the one who gets to spend a night.
If Gwenn has the queen position and Arius heart, I will be left with nothing expect my future child to hold on to this life and it isn’t enough. Sometimes a child cannot secure your place. Prince Kastav mother proved that. The only thing that can secure your comfort is the feelings which Yama has for you and your children. And right now. Arius hates me and the thought of our child.
A knock sounded in my door and I hurried to open it, people will rarely now visit Arius quarters unlike before since he is king. This is not fair. I am a concubine, he should like me and not the queen.
“What?” I snapped as I opened the door in anger only for me to swallow hard when I saw who was on the other side.
“What?” Prince Kastav repeated as he raised an eyebrow at me while folding his hand against his chest. “Did you mistakenly lose your senses or what?”
“My prince.” I bowed as I stepped aside and he entered my room for me to shut the Arius, for him to be here means that dinner was over and still Arius was not here, was he with Gwenn and her people.
I felt a sharp pang at that thought and rubbed my tummy absentmindly. “What can I do for you?”
“What you originally ought to do.” Prince Kastav replied as he looked at me with his eyes cool but I could see the rage there, something must have happened after I had gone and it made the prince angry to the extent where he came to remind me that I am supposed to be turning Arius mind against Gwenn and feeding me special information. What he did not know was that I was more chanced to come across those things he wanted when I was a Mareikura than when I became a concubine.
“Do I need to remind you of your duties Faye?” Kastav asked still in his calm tone and I shook my head while shifting back.
My instincts were screaming at me to get away from the prince but there was little I could do but run out of my room like fire was chasing me or something and that will lead to questions if I get to bump into anybody. Questions which I cannot answer because I certainly cannot say that I was running from the Prince who was in my room because I made a deal with him to cause havoc between him and the queen just so I could be a concubine because I was going to be the first person in the history of Northshore whom a king rejected when she was pregnant with his child.
“If I don’t need to remind you of them, why haven’t I gotten something useful then?” Kastav asked as he slammed a hand beside me since he had me backed to a wall, his anger was very visible now and I gulped loudly as my thoughts ran wild.
“Answer me when I talk to you damn it.” He curses and my mouth flew open.
“Arius hates me, I am trying to get back into his good graces.” I answered and he shook his head at me.
“No, Arius better not hate you because if he does, you are worthless to me and do you know what I did what those who are worthless?” He asked.
I didn’t want to know but I couldn’t stop myself from nodding my head. I needed to know what was going to happen to me when I could not provide the prince with the information he required.
He leaned close to me, invading my personal space until his mouth was close to my ears in a way which he could whisper very low into them and that was what he did. “I discard them and by discard that means they will not be useful to anyone else since they will be dead.”
My legs could not keep me up again, I fell down as Kastav smiled at my face and what stricken look must be on it. “You know what to do Faye, don’t keep me waiting.”
And with those final words, he turned into a mist and moved out of my room in a frightening pace that had me covering my face. Right now, I cannot help but think, maybe I should have never gone to Kastav for help. I stood only to feel a sharp pain on my tummy. I winced as I looked down, wondering what was wrong only for me to see a small tickle of blood going down my legs.
“No.” I whimpered, I could not be having issues. This will guarantee my death a lot faster than if I cannot provide the Prince with the information he wants. Nobody had to know.
I moved slowly to my bed and cleaned the small trail which was very visible in case of emergencies like someone coming in without know.
When a knock sounded again, I walked to the door and opened it, not making the mistake to snarl like I did the last time. It was someone who I was not happy to see.
Then I snarled. “What do you want?”
Sorens looked at me up and down and shook his head. “It still baffles me you know.” He said and when I looked confused, he added.
“What the king saw in you when he had Gwenn who was willing to give her all to him, I don’t get how some men think sometimes.”
“Did Gwenn send you to do her malicious comments for her?” I gritted out but he shook his head.
“Gwenn has better class than that, the only reason I asked that question is because I truly don’t understand what the king was thinking.”
“I am sure that you didn’t come to my door and ask me what the king was thinking when you could very much ask him that yourself when you see him.” I snorted still not believing his words that Gwenn didn’t send him. Yes it seems that way though. Gwenn was not the kind of person who sent others to do her dirty works for her, not when she would rather do them herself and get to see how much she affects the person who she wanted to scare, that was the kind of person whom the queen was. Someone who derived pleasure from seeing whatever she wants happen while it happened. And I don’t think breaking me would be any different.
That means that Sorens was here all on his own and he truly believes his words and that made me feel down.
“Well, you are certainly right. I didn’t come to your door to ask you that, no. A mist, dark cloud like left here not a while ago and I wanted to ask if you know the person.” He asked as my brows farrowed.
Why would he ask that kind of question, everybody knows that was Kastav color, black? When he was using his royal gifts or the gifts he trained for, it was always in black.
“That is Prince Kastav color, everybody knows that. Now you can stop pretending that is why you are here and end this charade you are here to play, act crazy and say the hurtful things which Gwenn told you to say.” I said to Sorens, folding my arms across my chest as I braced for impact and waited for the shock expression which Sorens wore on his face as Prince Kastav’s name to fade.
I was not prepared when his expression turned pitiful. “Faye get a life, you keep mistaking your actions for things which Gwenn will do but the fact is you are so far off the point that you are in another country entirely. Stop using your behavior to try and match Gwenn up. Gwenn will not say hurtful things to you unless it is in public and you are annoying her too much. She does that so that it doesn’t seem like she is a pushover. She prefers actions to words and you must have realized this since she threatened to whip you once.” Sorens took a breath before looking at me. “Gwenn doesn’t even take your existence seriously enough to think about you when she has other things in her mind. You simply are not worth it. Get a life.” He added and with those words he turned around and left.
His words hurt more than I ever thought they will. And I knew that it was because it was true, I never really was a threat to Gwenn.
I have to find a way to be just that.