I didn’t know how I found myself there but I was in a club and I wasn’t just there to watch intoxicated people dance. I was there to get myself drunk for the first time in my life but it wasn’t as easy as I thought. I’d always had this strange ability to hold my liquor well but no matter how many bottles I took, I couldn’t get myself drunk.
Sure, I was a little intoxicated but not full-out drunk to not know what I was doing. Hiro texted me nearly a hundred times to find out where I was but I couldn’t concentrate enough to reply her text. All I know was that I was having fun playing beer pong with the boys and losing myself even more than I expected to.
The reason it was so weird for me was that I had never been one to lose control of myself. Sure, I was fun when I needed to be but I was never reckless. I never knew drinking your sorrows was a real thing until I experienced it.
I left the guys who had been cheering me and dubbed me Dangerous Diva then took another shot of tequila, about to down it when a familiar voice asked, “You’re going to start drinking already?”
I downed the shot and replied. “You don’t know me well if you think I’ve just started.”
“I’ve been finding that out a lot lately,” he chuckled and those words sounded so familiar that I turned to face him.
“Emrys, why are you here?” I asked him with a sigh as I placed my hand on my head. “Getting you out. You’re a mess.”
I tried to run away but he easily carried me in his arms, bridal style just like Leon had the day I was kidnapped, and walked out of the bar. Even people drunker than I was, cleared the road as he walked past and I wasn’t sure if it was out of respect or fear.
He placed me safely in the car seat and put on the seatbelts. He only left me to get into the car himself when he was sure that there was no way I could run away or do something that would get me killed. The moment he was in, he didn’t make any effort and drove away almost immediately.
“Where are we going?” “Home,” he replied.
It was just one word. One simple word that he must have said without much meaning. One that he had carelessly thrown around but it made me smile. It gave me a reason to think that maybe this life wasn’t so bad after all. That one word meant everything to me than he could have possibly imagined.
I didn’t doubt I was in love.
I smiled and asked, “Can we go somewhere first?” “Where?”
“You have tattoos so take me to where you got yours. I think…well, it might be time for me to break the rules of my life and get some tattoos.”
“Okay but when you say some, do you really mean more than one?” “Yes.”
He didn’t say anything else and I wasn’t sure if he was really going to do as I asked but I was okay with studying his face while he drove. Emrys was almost perfection if he wasn’t really. It was so surreal how someone could look so divine and still have a heart as pure as his. I must have done some really good things in my past life to have such excellent karma.
I chuckled softly when I thought of how Leon had just left my life and I was still thinking my karma was good. It must have been because Emrys was kind of the man that made you forget everything you were worried about.
I closed my eyes and it was almost about the time that I closed my eyes, that Emrys tapped me to tell me we were at a tattoo parlor with a large sign saying “Ink and Oil”. I was so tempted to point out what a horrible name that was but I thought the least I could do was give them credit since the Emrys got his tattoos there. I sighed, feeling readier than I could ever be, and came down from the car to go in and get my first tattoos.
The place was small and still managed to look scary with all the pictures of scary drawings one could get as a tattoo. To think people actually designed their bodies with horrible things like that. It looked like the kind of place bikers kept themselves to get all these scary tattoos all over their bodies and stuff like that. I found it unnerving.
“Milo!” Emrys called out when we came in and found it empty.
I can’t say I was shocked when a man came through another door inside and I looked to see that it was the same Milo I knew through Leon and Hiro. Emrys did this bro-hug thing and pointed at me.
“Paris here wants to get her own tattoos and I brought her to the guy who does mine, the best body artist I know.”
Milo looked at me and his lips turned upward. “You didn’t seem like that kind of girl when I saw you with Hiro. Looks like I was wrong.”
“You barely know me Milo,” I said with a slight roll of my eyes even though I couldn’t help the smile that came after he spoke.
“That’s what you think,” he said with a chuckle as he led me to one of the hydraulic tattoo chairs.
Emrys raised a brow as he followed us dragging a stool with him so he could sit beside me. “Wait, you two know each other?”
“It’s a long story,” I said with a sigh just as Milo said, “She’s my girlfriend’s friend.”
I crossed my arm and glared at him. “You couldn’t have said I’m your friend? Also, it’s kind of hard to picture you and Hiro dating. I mean, I know I shipped you guys and pushed you in that direction…”
“Which was a good thing.”
“…but you said both of you had nothing going on.”
“People lie so they don’t have to admit their feelings, Paris. I’m sure you know all about that.”
“What?”
“Never mind. What kind of tattoo are you looking for and where?” “I want three,” I said with a shrug.
Milo’s eyes widened. “Three? For your first time?”
“It was four but I changed my mind. Actually, I still want four. I’d always wanted to get them but I chickened out a lot of times. I’m not doing that to myself now.” I sighed. “I’m a new person.” He gave me this weird look but I decided to ignore it. “What parts of the body are less painful to get tattoos on.”
“Your arms, shoulders, lower back is a lot less painful than the upper region, palms, and your legs.”
“Okay then, I want a butterfly on each arm right here,” I said and pointed to my … “then a flower pattern from my shoulder to my chest. I’d like to draw the last one.”
Milo was still looking at me strangely and so was Emrys when he handed over a pen and paper to me. I took it gratefully and began sketching the idea of what I wanted. It was a tattoo for Leon. I guess I asked for it only because I wanted to feel a part of him with me or something.
When I handed it over to Milo, he gave me a small smile and asked, “Where do you want it?” “My thigh.”
“Alright.”
Emrys sat in front of me so he could hold my hand just in case I needed to squeeze it out of pain but it wasn’t that bad mostly because Milo started with my thigh and apparently there was enough flesh to cushion the pain. Sure, it felt like someone kept poking me with pins but that was about it. It wasn’t enough for me to start crying my heart out or needing something in my mouth to chew on.
“You’re handling this quite well,” Emrys said with a slight chuckle. I shrugged. “It’s not as bad as I expected it to be.”
Milo snorted. “Because I’m being gentle.”
We fell into silence though Emrys and Milo began to talk about other things. I stared ahead and as much as I tried, I couldn’t help the way my mind kept going back to my conversation with Leon. He was right about a lot of things and I guess I didn’t realize how much those things would hurt people around me.
There was no way I could have known he was in love with me. No way. I was wishing that he had said something earlier not because I would have given him a chance but because it wouldn’t be as bad as it was. I sighed.
I didn’t know I was crying again until Emrys asked, “Does it hurt now?”
I used my free hand to wipe my tears away and forced a smile for Emrys’s benefit. “Not exactly.”
“Something is up with you,” he said as he studied me probably trying to find out what it was. “Who did you fight with?”
“No…Ouch.” I glared at Milo who sheepishly smiled then turned my attention back to Emrys. “I didn’t fight with anyone. I guess I just found myself thinking about my life today and I’m not happy with who I am.”
“Something must have made you reflect on your life. What is it?”
I could have told Emrys about my fight with Leon and told him all that had happened between us in the past day but I didn’t. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust him. I didn’t know why but I felt it was something I would rather die than let Emrys be aware of. There was just something in me that felt like hiding it from Emrys as weird as it might sound.
“Nothing,” I replied with a sad smile. Emrys raised a brow but I shook my head and he dropped it. “It’s just…let’s talk about anything other than that.”
And that was what we did. We talked for a while until Milo was done with the first tattoo and I looked to see that it was perfect just as I wanted it. Written in cursive, was the quote Leon was in love with from Winnie the Pooh and I smiled to myself thinking of what Leon would have said if he had seen it.
Emrys asked why I asked for it but I refused to tell him. I wanted it to be something between Leon and I if he ever decided to be friends with me again.
“We can’t be friends anymore…I will always see you as something else.”
Well, that seemed like something that would be impossible.
Emrys and I spent hours, I’m talking until I could actually see light reflecting through the windows, in the parlor while Milo finished up my other tattoos. I thought they were beautiful so once he was done, I pulled him into a massive bear hug that he awkwardly settled into.
I didn’t plan to but the moment he hugged me back, some emotion steered in me that I found myself crying and he sighed then began to pat my back, whispering comforting word in my ear. The unsurprising part was he already knew.
“You’ll be fine. He’ll come around,” he whispered and I hugged him even tighter. “Let it all out, child.”
I did as he said and I felt very relieved when I left him. Milo gave me a soft smile and I turned to see Emrys giving us a strange look. Emrys wanted to pay, considering Milo had spent a lot of time on it, but he refused to collect the money saying that he considered me family and there was no way he would take it from me.
I took Emrys’s hand, still crying, and left the parlor to his car. We got in and I suddenly got a whiff of something that seemed like Leon’s cologne then found myself crying all over again.
“Don’t,” I said as Emrys tried to talk when he noticed it. “I just need you here. Not to fix anything or do anything in particular but to just let me feel I’m cared about.”
“Of course.”
He took his right hand off the steering wheel and squeezed my left hand in a reassuring manner. “You do realize that we can have an accident, right?”
He laughed, a hearty sound that managed to calm my sad heart and cause me to smile even the littlest smile. “I’ll have you know I’m a pretty great driver and I’ve mastered the art of driving with one hand.”
I closed my eyes and smiled. “Thank you for being here for me.” “Always.”