(Renata Pellegrini)
I watch him, his eyes are closed, I watch his tongue seductively glide across his bottom lip as if he's still savoring some sort of taste. Our breath is uneven, our chest rises and falls rapidly, I close my eyes and with my trembling fingers I touch my lips, still feeling the pressure that was made a moment ago with his mouth. My whole body tingles for more.
I open my eyes and lose myself in the immensity of Mr. Filippo's penetrating gaze, without pestaning, without deviating, burning with desire, burning with lust.
What a perverted look!
As if in a hypnotic trance, I am startled by his lips once again pressing against mine, my eyes open like saucers, I try to pull away, but he puts his hand on the back of my neck preventing me from moving.
I open my mouth to protest, however, he uses this opening to stick his tongue in and I can't take it anymore. I melt in his arms again, it's like I've been in the driest desert for years and he is the drop of water I crave. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back in the most intense way I have ever kissed him. He lays me down on the bed once again, his hand goes down to my hip and squeezes it hard, I feel his hard volume just below my navel and it excites me even more, I need to feel more heat, I need more . I press my bare breasts against his strong chest and pull the hairs on the back of his neck, a small noise comes out of his mouth and that's enough to make me think of nothing but what we're doing.
Our tongues duel in the most delicious way possible. It's like I've found my little piece of paradise and getting addicted to him is so easy and well, it's still incomprehensible to me how this man makes me feel so many things at the same time as I feel right now in this kiss.
Again his hand enters my pants now also inside my panties, touching and massaging my clitoris, impossible to hold back the sighs feeling the circular movement of his fingers in that part of me and with every pressure he placed my body arching under his big and strong one.
'It's today that I lost my virginity!' - my mind does me the favor of reminding me that I am still a virgin! I already gave him my first kiss, I can't give him my first time either, not like this, not without thinking, not without knowing what will happen next.
"You know exactly what comes next, kick your ass and goodbye"- my mind responds to my fear by making me tense up in the middle of the hot kiss.
I bite down hard on Mr. Filippo's lip, I notice the taste of metallic blood, I think I have overdone it with force. Abruptly he gets off me and stands up from the bed, touching his still bloody split lip. He looks at me angrily, makes a bad feeling flow inside me.
"Maldetta!", "Damn you!" he curses between his teeth in a hoarse voice making me shudder, I feel a little offended, but I don't respond ignorantly for having drawn blood from his mouth.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," I say, unable to face him.
"Why did you do that? Did I do something wrong to you? Did I hurt you?", he asks.
"No, you didn't do anything wrong," I say and sigh.
He really didn't do anything wrong, I was really enjoying every touch, my body still has goosebumps and craves for more, but I know how much it's going to hurt me later and I don't think I'm ready to deal with it.
"Are you a sadist by any chance, damn it!?", he asks impatiently with his eyebrows drawn together showing he's really pissed off.
"Huh?", I look at him confused, but then I remember the movie 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and my face burns as I understand his question, "N-no, I'm not that."
"I feel agony seeing someone else feel pain, imagine making someone else feel it myself" - I converse with my mind.
"Then why?", he sits on the bed and looks me in the eyes.
"I... You... We can't do this! It's wrong!"
"Why can't we? We're two adults, single, I don't see anything wrong."
"You're my boss!"
"Like you said, we're not in the company, Ragazza", he smiles smugly and I roll my eyes.
My legs shake and my hands tremble, my heart is pounding in my chest, I feel the tears coming, I close my eyes, I can't cry, I can't break down. I can't and I don't want to admit that this man messes with me like no other man ever has.
"What will happen next?", I ask, feeling a lump in my throat.
"And who cares what happens next?", he replies with another question and I cringes, "Let's live in the now."
"I care what happens next!", I say firmly, feeling my eyes water.
"What do you want, Renata?"
My chin trembles at her question, I can't identify what her gaze is trying to tell me.
"I don't know exactly what I want to, but I know exactly what I don't want", I say without looking away.
"And what don't you want?"
"To be treated like a disposable object!", I immediately respond, "I'm not just any woman, I may not be one of those high class women, I may not be as beautiful and I may not have the fullest curves, but I know what I'm worth, I know what I deserve. To be treated with love and care, and I don't want you to play games with me! I don't want to wake up, or even go to sleep, and be sent away from here after you've had your fill! I've been too reckless to give you my first kiss without having a relationship with...." I stopped talking abruptly, dammit! I spoke too much.
I notice the surprise at my words in her eyes, but it only lasts a few seconds, then her face turns serious and her mouth forms a thin, straight line.
"You said you didn't know what you wanted, but you just told me what you want!", he says looking at me with a stiff jaw. I swallow dryly.
"D-did I say?"
He doesn't answer me, just stares at me, as if he wishes a hole would open up in this bed and swallow me. This silence is suffocating.
"In that bathroom there are clean towels, take a shower and go to sleep", he gets up and leaves the room, leaving me alone.
"Wait for me..."
He doesn't wait for me, he just closes the door leaving me alone in this room illuminated only by a small lamp.