As I follow Shee out into the hall I take another look at her figure now that she is standing. She is much shorter than I thought. Where the top of Io’s head reaches my shoulder, hers would barely come up to my chest. She has a very curvy figure and walks with a wide gate. As she takes a turn, I see an exit ahead that must lead to the outside of the grounds. She picks up her pace and I take longer strides to keep up. I find it odd that she is supposed to be giving me a tour and yet she has said nothing. As we round her hut I look around. The ground has been leveled into a path lined with rocks. On either side there are rows of pink peonies and lotus. The fragrance is soothing and appealing. As we walk a bit further down that path, I see servants tending horses in their stables. She heads in that direction as I follow. When we reach the stables, she finally speaks.
“You are dismissed I wish to speak privately” she commands. Her voice is thick and breathy. As the servants leave and head in the direction of the hut, she grabs a brush for a horse. As she begins to brush the brown horse’s mane, she clears her throat and looks at me. I lean against the post near my side. “Since we are to be married, am I to assume that I can trust you” she asks.
“Yes, it will be so. I will remain honest as I expect you to be.” I inform her. She nods to herself.
“Honestly speaking, I do not wish for this arrangement. Although I have no choice on the matter, I promise to be a dutiful wife” she promises.
My ears perk up at her admission. “I do not want this arrangement either. I also have no choice but if I must make you as my bride, I will do right by you provided of course that you give me heirs” I say. To say these words feels wrong. I know that they must be said however and if it comes to this we will wed.
“In truth I should inform you that I want another” she says looking at something behind me. As I turn to look, I see a servant near our age tending to the flowers hurriedly lower his head. “Alas I see it was not meant to be as my parents have denied his request for an engagement. “Will this be a problem?” She asks.
This is a question I am not sure how to answer. I also have feelings for another. However, if she is to be my bride, temptation will have to be removed from her path to insure she remains faithful to me.
“To have feelings for another is not a problem because I have feelings for someone else too” I admit as she goes back to brushing the horse’s mane. “But if you are to be my bride your wanting of another man will have him removed as a worker from the property.” I maintain. She takes a heavy sigh but then she beams.
“If you also feel love for another. Then we do not have to do this. We can produce a plan to stop it” she rushes to say dropping the brush. “I want to marry Pachong and do not wish to desire another. Do you not feel this way about your girl?” She asks with an eager smile
“I feel strongly for the woman I have asked to court. My father is not the type to have his mind swayed. You saw his face in there. He is happy with the arrangement. I wouldn’t know a plan that could work “I assure her.
“My parents do not want this arrangement for me they just want me to marry to a higher station than Pachong” She admits. She begins to walk back toward the hut, and I turn to follow. There is a new step to her gait as if her mood has changed dramatically from the closed off woman I walked out here with. She pauses by the garden of flowers which are now empty and turns to face me. “We mustn’t speak about this with our parents here together. I will have to send a thank you letter for each gift you send when courting me. I will keep you apprised of how I fare within them. You can send a letter with each of your gifts telling me how you fare in changing our fate. We must do something to change this. Do you agree?” She whispers.
I nod my head and smile. I never would have imagined that I would be producing a plan to stop this wedding with my future bride. Even though she looks different than someone I would have chosen for myself I am happy to have someone other than my mother also trying to stop this nonsense. I bow to her in respect with the smile still on my face. She smiles and does the same.
When we turn toward the hut’s entry, we both freeze. Our parents have come outside and all look way to happy at having saw us whispering to each other. My father steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder.
“From your smiles I know this will be a good match. I have done a wonderful job in picking your new bride. I can tell you like her already” he says practically beaming with pride. My smile disappears before he finishes talking. I share a look with Shee that conveys how I feel. We sure just made a mess of things.
After my father’s statement we all begin walking back to the sunroom. I try to meet Shee’s eyes, but she is refusing to meet my gaze. When I look down, I see her hands have begun shaking again. Once we all take our seats the parents continue talking about wedding arrangements. At this point I cannot wait until it is time to get back in the wagon and head home. I know that it will be soon as the sun has gone low into the sky. I comfort myself with the fact that tomorrow I will see Io again. I want to show her my favorite place to think. I cannot wait to talk to her and touch her again. I also miss her kiss. That tightness in my chest has me smiling to myself at the thought of her sweet lips moving undermine.
“Well, it is getting late I’m afraid” my father says sitting up in his chair. I sit up too preparing to leave. My father looks at me and he must see something in my expression because he frowns. He smiles mischievously and I swallow because I know this cannot be good. “In regard to the time I feel that I am more tired than I thought. The children have also had such a wonderful day I feel we owe it to them to give them more time to get to know each other. After all, they will not see the other until the wedding takes place. We should stay another day and head home to our village at noon tomorrow” he suggests.
“We have plenty of room for you here” Xiyi offers. He looks at his wife and she leave the room with the two servants at the door probably going to set up sleeping quarters for us. I sit back in dismay and look at my father. He has returned to watching me with a curious gaze. I do my best to try and hide my anger. I lean forward and fix a plate of food to have something to focus on. I will have time later to express myself freely when I am no longer near him. When I have completed my food Quingwa re-enters the room to announce that our quarters are ready. My mother and I wait for my father to rise before we follow. As we are led up the stairs, we pass three doors before my parents are given a room to the left and I a room to the right. She has taken note for our need for privacy and hung tapestries on these two entryways in the hall while the others remain bare. I am glad for the privacy for I thought I may have to wait until my parents slept to drop my controlled expression.
When the tapestry closes, I wait for a few moments to ensure that I am alone. While I wait, I look around the room in which I was placed. It is plainly that deep red that I saw downstairs. On the kang lay a set of green robes I am to wear to sleep. I quickly put them on. When I am confident, I am alone I ball up my fist into my hair and give it a tug in frustration. Somehow, I gave myself away. Now that I have, I will miss seeing Io tomorrow. From this distance I have no way to get a message to her telling her why I will not be there. I contemplate going to tell my mother I have plans and want to leave. However, that would involve telling her about Io and I am not ready to share her yet. I lay down saddened at having my plans ruined. Things are so new between Io and me. His plans could not have come at a worse time. I hate that there is nothing I can do. All I can do is pray for time to pass fast and hope that she forgives me. I sigh and settle in. I know I am in for a long night of tossing and turning at how Io will take my not showing up.