LEXIS POV
It hurt. My heart squeezed in my chest, the pain frightening because it felt as if I was on the verge of getting a heart attack.
Ryland was a backstabber. He'd convinced me to kill father, and once he took over, he made a plan to get rid of me all because he thought I was a walking, talking time bomb. It had been hard to believe at first because we were family. He was my brother and he gave me his word that he'd take care of me.
But remembering the feel of the pillow blocking off my air while I slept was a wake-up call that Ryland really wanted my death, there was also the recorded message of him ordering Hayden to kill me.
He'd planned to have me killed all because I was unstable, but who wouldn't be after taking the life of their father? It was absurd to think I'd just go back to being normal after everything, and it hasn't even been that long since it happened, so how could I be ok.
Ryland wasn't the one who had to deal with the nightmares, he wasn't the one who woke up in cold sweat every other night after having a blood-curdling nightmare or a panic attack.
Killing father took a toll on me, he might have been brutal to Jade and Ryland but I was his beautiful princess and he always wanted to make me happy, he always loved the drinks I made for him and always insisted that I made one each day to give him his daily needed boast of happiness, that was why it had been easy to kill him. He trusted me and that was a mistake.
After his death, I could tell that the family suspected foul play even though they kept quiet about it and acted as if everything was normal, but I could see the way they looked at me when they thought I wasn't paying attention. It was as if they could see through me. As if the blood he'd coughed onto the front of my dress was still there, a shred of evidence that I was a murderer.
It was as if I was on a survivor game where everyone tried to take the other out no matter what it took, so they could emerge the sole winner and I was that one player who thought everyone was an ally, but then everything becomes clearer but it is too late because I'm blindsided and eliminated before I can rectify my mistake. Well, I wasn't eliminated yet although it had been close. I was going to get even. Ryland was going to pay for this, but how. He was so much better than me at the stupid survivor game.
"Here, this was the only snack I could pay for" Hayden's voice cut through my thoughts and I turned to face him, my eyes slipping to the burger he was offering me.
"Can you remind me again Why you didn't just take more money out of the safe while we had the chance"
He stared at me incredulously and I took the burger from him before he decided that he shouldn't give it to me after all. I was not a princess anymore so I should accept what I could get and be grateful for it.
"So, what now? What do we do? Ryland is going to come for us. He's going to slaughter us. I told you running wouldn't solve anything"
"Right, and staying there would have guaranteed us staying alive. I'm not holding you captive here Lexis, you can go back anytime you want to, go back to your big awesome brother, but I will not be going with you, I won't wait around for Ryland to come up with a brutal way to kill me off "
He was right. Whether here or there, we were dead men walking, or dead women. Whatever fit the boat.
"I can't believe Ryland would do this to me. I thought I would be safe. I thought if Jade wasn't in the picture, then we could both rule the syndicate forever. I was so fucking stupid".
"Yeah. You are" Hayden retorted and I wanted to get mad but he was right. I trusted blindly and this was what I got for it.
"Remind me again why we didn't take my car?".
Hayden exhales tiredly. "Because Ryland would have easily traced your car and we'd be toast right about now. And speaking of that, We do need to get out of here. We might have been spotted by some of his spies"
"Do you think so?" I asked, glancing around the vicinity. A little child was staring at us and it was enough to feed my paranoia. Fuck! This was not how I envisioned spending my weekend.
"Let's just go or else we'll be sorry," Hayden said, walked past me, and entered the car. I followed suit, sat down then took a bite out of the burger which tasted really juicy.
Hayden watched me chew. "Do you always eat this messily, You've got oil on your chin"
"Well, not all of us can be perfect little toys as you are Hayden. I bet you had to be extra clean for the icy queen".
"Keep running your mouth, but maybe if you'd allowed Jade to take over then you wouldn't have to be fleeing for your life from the brother you held in such high esteem"
"You don't have to say it to my face every single time Hayden. I know I messed up but do you really think Jade would have been different".
"Without a doubt. You all think Jade is heartless but deep down she's soft and all she wants is to be loved by someone. You all literally destroyed her and she never felt enough. She always had to compete just to keep on breathing, you and Ryland bullied her the moment she got here".
"She came into our lives and ruined it. We would have never had this sought of problem if she hadn't shown up. Ryland would have never betrayed me or killed father".
"Can you stop being so fucking delusional? Ryland is a scheming bastard and that is not going to change even if Jade hadn't shown up."
"And if it was Jade that had asked you to kill me, would you have done it. Why am I even asking. You're so in love with her, you'd have killed yourself if she told you to".
"I wouldn't have killed you because the Jade I know wouldn't have asked me to."
"Maybe you're the one who does not know Jade, Hayden. If I was a threat to her, she'd have killed me the first chance she got, and she'll do it herself too. She wouldn't have sent you." I said and Hayden's wrist flexed on the wheels, a distant look on his face. He didn't believe me but deep down, he knew there was some truth in the words I spoke.
"What do we do now. I want to get even, if everyone is going to turn into some backstabbing villain then don't you think I should too. Don't you think Ryland needs to pay for what he did to me".
"I agree, but right now, there is nothing we can do but run. He's too powerful and he's got everyone's support, even Vito is supporting him"
"What about Mirabella. She hates my brother and I don't even know why. They've always been at each other's throats for as long as I can remember so if there is anyone who can help, it will be her".
"What If we just drive into Etral forest. Ryland would expect us to go seek help from the other family, but he'll never think for a second that we will go to Etral".
I stared at him, meeting the seriousness in his gaze with my confused one. "Why Etral, these days, no one ever gets back from there. I know this because the last set of men Ryland sent in there never came back, Jade didn't come back"
"She didn't come back, not because she's dead, but because she might have been taken hold of by someone".
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say".
He suddenly reached towards me, snatched my hand, and jerked me closer. I gasped in surprise, my eyes widening as they fastened on his hardened ones.
"I'm serious Lexis. I can feel that she's alive and my instinct is never wrong. Jade never forgives backstabbing and she doesn't waste time to get even, so the only reason I can think, of why she isn't back is that someone is holding her captive. Now if we ever want to beat Ryland, we'll have to find Jade. She's the only one I know with the power and connection to put Ryland in his place".
"This is all just stupid speculation Hayden. I don't think we'll find her there. We're going to get ourselves killed by wild animals,.."
He cut off my words with a sigh of exasperation and let go of my hand, choosing rather to face the road, his expression grim. "We are already dead Lexis, it's just a matter of time before Ryland finds us. So what is it going to be? Do we wait around for him to get us or are we going to take our chances and head into Etral forest, where there is a guarantee that we'll find Jade and our life will be spared from Ryland.".
I stared at his side profile, the two options he'd given me leaving a wrong taste in my mouth, but he was right, Ryland would find us in a matter of days especially when we didn't even have money for gas or food. If we went to Etral and got killed, well so be it.
"Fine. Let's go find Jade".