Bad Reputation - Shawn Mendes
***
I had waited. And waited. And waited some more. But it had been two weeks since Harry had promised me we'd finish with my welcome. And the only words we had exchanged were dry hellos, good mornings, and occasional hope you are goods.
I was annoyed. My mood was shit. And I took it out on anybody I could. I had screamed at my mom and now I couldn't call her. One, because I felt bad. And two, she was probably on her way to come whoop my ass. I was an adult but I was not old enough to escape an asswhooping.
I was in the office. Work had been slow all morning. I was dying of boredom and I couldn't look up memes on the computer because of work policy. It was just memes. Not like I was looking at ebony big black dick or searching up ways to kill the president.
I could not wait for the break. I was going to call my mom and apologize to her. And I was going to eat. I had thought I would be late, so I had skipped breakfast. It was clearly not worth it.
As I was stuck in my musings, someone tapped me. I almost fell in my haste to jump. Who the hell thought they had the right to scare me in that way??
I looked up and saw a dark skinned girl with wide eyes. She was so pretty. Next to her was a guy. His looks were so dainty and I and no other word to describe him than beautiful.
I was so lost in observing them that I didn't even hear whatever they were saying. And it was obvious they were quite passionate about whatever they were spitting (not literally) out.
"Sorry? Can you repeat?" I asked and they looked at each other with smiles. It was obvious they knew me and had spoken about me prior to this. And perhaps their previous affirmations about me were actually right.
"It's lunch break already. And you've been all alone for the past three weeks. Would you want to accompany us? We don't like seeing people lonely and left out." It was the guy speaking. And it made me frown.
As I opened my mouth to tell him I did not feel left out and I definitely wasn't lonely, the girl said, "Admit it Josh, you just want to get the gossip from the source"
"Gossip?" I asked, confused.
"Come with us for lunch and we'll tell you everything," the girl proposed. After a moment's hesitation, I accepted. I definitely wanted to know. What gossip? And what the hell were they talking about?
I packed my stuff up and walked with them. If there was one thing I hated, it was gossip. But I didn't like when people talked about me either. And I really wanted to know what everyone was saying.
"I'm Josh by the way. And this rude ass bitch is Melanie," the guy said and I nodded in their direction.
"I'm Iris," I said and they laughed. I looked at them questioningly. What was funny?
"Oh, we know your name already. Everyone does," the girl, Melanie said and I frowned. Everybody knew my name? That was surprising.
I was used to being the girl who blended in without a problem. So for people to say they had noticed me was really surprising.
As we were in the elevator and they were chattering happily, I kept on asking myself questions and assuming the worst.
What were they saying about me? Were they talking about the fact that I wasn't from a big city? That my accent wasn't quite right? My teeth weren't quite straight? Or my height? Trust me, more people than you'd expect had spoken about my height. Like being tall was a bad thing.
Soon enough, we had reached the parking lot. With all my overthinking, I had missed the whole conversation so when Josh addressed a laughing, "Right?" at me, I laughed weakly and nodded my head.
"Did you come with a car?" Melanie asked. I guessed she was the more outspoken one. Not that both of them weren't outgoing. But she had practically headed the whole conversation.
"I.. don't have a car," I said and they looked at each other, making me wonder what they were thinking. I hated their curious looks. But I was already here. I couldn't back out anymore.
"You'll ride with us then. Come on," Josh said, dragging me. I followed them meekly. In that moment, I don't know why but I felt extremely self-conscious about my height. I was a little bit taller than Josh. And though it wasn't that noticeable, I don't know why it had even crossed my mind.
We reached the car, a small but shouty Volvo. It was bubblegum pink and even if you were visually impaired, you'd have a hard time missing it.
The car ride was short but as loud as the two occupants of the car. The music was really loud but their voices were apparently louder because they managed to speak and hear each other over it.
We finally reached. I was sure it had been just five to ten minutes, but in my head, it was like I had been an hour in that car. They walked and I followed them into the restaurant.
We settled in and as soon as I placed my bag on the floor the barrage of questions started.
"So are you and Harry dating?" It was Josh who asked. Apparently, he had recovered his voice.
"Harry?" I asked. I was not sure I had heard the question correctly.
"Girl, stop playing dumb," he said and I frowned. "Mr. Killian? Harry? Are you dating him?"
"Cause she might be dating him but he's not dating her," Melanie said snidely.
I raised my eyebrows in part amusement, part shock. So that's why they had asked me to tag along? I thought they wanted to tell me the gossip. Not as me about my supposed relationship. Though I didn't know where that was coming from. And I said as much.
"Are you joking? He always smiles at you in the hallways and elevators. And don't forget the lunch date he had taken you to," Melanie explained and I couldn't help it. I just had to burst in laughter.
"Are you serious?" I asked. Harry had never given me more than a polite smile. So their comments were so baseless.
"Girl, dead serious. I just want to know. What changed? Because he's always been all about respecting company policy and not dating employees. Cause you know I would have tapped that by now," Melanie said and both of them laughed. I laughed weakly and swallowed the bitter jealous bile that had suddenly come up.
Melanie was beautiful. There was no doubt about that. Her dark skin was smooth and had the body that I think almost every girl wanted. Medium sized boobs, tiny waist and big butt. And coupled with that, she was the perfect height. Not too short. Not too tall.
"I wish. I've embarrassed myself countless times in front of him. And he's nothing to me," I said and they raised their eyebrows, almost in sync.
"Right. What are you going to order?" Josh asked after there was an awkward pause.
"I–"
"I'll probably take a salad. I'm not really hungry," Melanie answered and I shut my mouth.
I waited for Josh to maybe ask me what I was going to get, but nothing. They kept on talking without any attempt to include me in the conversation. The only time I spoke was when the waiter came to take our orders.
I felt so out of place. Why the hell had I decided to come? Why didn't I stay in the office as I had been thinking of doing or going somewhere closer to get something to eat?
I endured this for the whole break then paid when it was time to go. Like I said before, I went unnoticed. It was life but I was already used to it. And maybe one day, I was going to be comfortable with it.