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NovelHook/I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality/Chapter 10

I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality Chapter 10

Xu Qing's eyes grew brighter the more he thought about it! Driving corpses, nourishing corpses, rescuing people—when these activities are linked together, a bold idea emerged in Xu Qing's mind. Liu Youdao had no relatives or friends all his life, living alone. Xu Qing might be able to take his place, inherit his legacy, return to the funeral shop in Linhe District, thus avoiding the intrusion of external demons while leveraging the profession's uniqueness to interact with the deceased and obtain resources through salvation. After all, who would suspect a Corpse Driver to be a zombie himself? With a plan in mind, Xu Qing began to ponder over the feasibility of the details. To return to Linhe District and blend into the mortal world, the greatest obstacle would be his identity as a zombie. However, there is a corresponding solution for this. In the Thirty-Six Corpse-Driving Curse Scripture, there is a spell called the Mute Dog Spell. It only requires some medicinal powder to confuse others' senses, even dogs with keen smell wouldn't detect the zombie's scent. Besides, many methods for concealing corpse aura are also found in Corpse Talk and Corpse Nourishing Technique. Moreover, it's quite normal for Corpse Drivers, who frequently come in contact with corpses, to have a bit of corpse aura clinging to them, right? Xu Qing took a grey cloth hanging bag from Liu Youdao, which contained not only the medicinal powder for the Mute Dog Spell, but also Spirit Incense, Talismans, Ink Box and Ink Line, Vermillion Inkstone, Compass and Magical Furnace, as well as Gold and Silver Incense Candles and other items. The two items that caught Xu Qing's attention the most were a Corpse Tooth Clamp and a pair of Golden Corpse Scissors. As the names suggest, these were the tools Liu Youdao used to cut off the sharp teeth and claws of zombies. Instinctively, Xu Qing touched his own fangs as long as index fingers, then resolutely picked up the denser Corpse Tooth Clamp and clipped all four of his fangs. Next, he clipped the sharp, elongated claws on both his hands and feet. Once he finished these tasks, Xu Qing changed into the spare clothes in Liu Youdao's bag. Plain straw shoes, a blue cloth robe, a black belt around his waist—the standard attire of a Corpse Driver. Feeling like something was missing, Xu Qing touched his empty waist and turned his gaze back to Liu Youdao's corpse. Ah, he hadn't taken the three Corpse-Driving Bells from Liu Youdao's body yet. After tying the bells to his waist, Xu Qing, now completely transformed, finally revealed a satisfied smile. Although these tasks seemed time-consuming, he actually spent less than the time it takes to brew tea. After finishing with the corpse, Xu Qing looked back at the motionless zombie lineup. He changed his mind and abandoned the idea of salvaging these zombies. The white-robed man from the Celestial Heart Sect was unpredictable, tricking the Imperial Court's pursuers while also coming back to kill Liu Youdao. But Xu Qing didn't believe his trick would work indefinitely. Those two soldiers were definitely not dimwitted; otherwise, they wouldn't have pursued all the way from the Capital City to here. It's possible that the Hundred Household named Zuo Zixiong and his partner could discover something amiss and return at any moment. "Better to avoid trouble, and as for these corpses..." Xu Qing had a sudden idea, took out the Corpse-Driving Whip rewarded by the Sutra of Salvation, and lashed the idle zombies several times. The next moment, the zombies carrying stretchers bolted forward like horses hit on their rumps, rushing towards the ceremonial hall ahead. Having done all this, Xu Qing didn't linger and headed straight toward Linhe District. Twenty miles north of Liu Village's ceremonial hall, Zuo Zixiong suddenly halted. "Not good! We've been tricked!" Confused, Cui Yuanlong asked, "Why do you say that, Zixiong?" With his brows tightly knitted, Zuo Qianxiong replied in a deep voice, "The Celestial Heart Sect fiend is exceptionally ruthless, killing indiscriminately. Since he asked directions from that Corpse Driver to return to the Capital, why didn't he kill him to silence him but instead left a clue for us to find?" "You mean that scoundrel tricked us, he hadn't returned to the Capital at all?" Cui Yuanlong, hearing this, got furious; this fiend is truly cunning! "No matter, as they say: the monk runs away, but the temple stays. He's wounded by me and can't get far. Let's return and continue pursuing him to the Celestial Heart Sect's branch. This time, we must capture him and bring him back to the Capital!" Meanwhile, the quiet night at Liu Village's ceremonial hall turned lively. A dozen or so men, women, and children, holding torches, looked bewildered at the group of zombies that had run into the ceremonial hall. Corpse Drivers bringing zombies here for storage or sale wasn't unusual to them, they were used to it. But seeing a group of zombies carrying stretchers arriving at the ceremonial hall without a Corpse Driver leading the way was a first. "Guests are guests, stop gawking and help settle them into coffins for a good rest. Whatever the matter is, deal with it tomorrow." The hall's steward thought it wouldn't be appropriate to ignore the situation, so he instructed the master and apprentices to arrange the place properly for these zombies, including the dead bodies on the stretchers. They wouldn't investigate the source of these zombies. After all, their ceremonial hall was responsible for storing, transporting, and burying corpses. Furthermore, in these times, there were a lot of dead. These corpses weren't dressed in fancy clothes, showing they were insignificant figures when alive, not worth special treatment. Eventually, when officers come to handle the process, the ones able to move would be sent to mine, and the rest buried at the Chaotic Burial Mound! Frankly, the hall hoped for free zombies every day, as they could earn money from sending them to mines. Who would refuse money delivered to their doorstep? Late at night, with dense Yin aura, the forest's lurking filth started emerging. Walking his path, Xu Qing didn't feel cold. Instead, he felt a pleasant sensation like a fish returning to water or a tiger returning to the forest. "I've really become one of the filthy things." Xu Qing sighed inwardly but quickly regained his spirit. "Even heroes like Yan Qingping practiced the Corpse Dao and eventually ascended. Isn't this better than living a mundane life for decades only to become dust in the wind after death?" "Being a zombie isn't bad! I didn't eat your glutinous rice!" Instantly, Xu Qing felt justified. He had toiled during his life, and now, in death, he wouldn't exhaust himself anymore! Walking alone at night had this downside—one tends to think about random things. Approaching the Chaotic Burial Mound he passed earlier, Xu Qing glanced aside and saw a yellow weasel carrying a chicken into a grave hole. It reminded him of the 'dirty thing' riding on his head for a free ride earlier. Turns out it was you! Xu Qing smacked his lips, seeing the yellow weasel disappear into the grave, then resumed his journey. Soon he encountered another familiar 'ghost'. A graceful figure in red, carrying a goat, floated towards him gleefully. Xu Qing stepped aside to let her pass. The female ghost glanced at him, giggled, then vanished from sight, only to reappear several yards away. Really? You stole another goat from that shepherd? Seeing the direction the red-dressed female ghost left, Xu Qing glanced towards the wilderness leading to Linhe District. Hmph, tonight certainly was lively. I wonder how many yellow birds and cicadas are out there. Reaching the end of the dirt path without encountering the shepherd again. Passing through the forest, he walked onto the main road and, following his memory, quickly arrived at Linhe District. It was the fourth watch, and although the streets were empty, Xu Qing could clearly sense the 'human aura' enveloping the homes. This was a predatory instinct that formed after becoming a zombie. Like a cat detecting the scent of a mouse through a hole. Taking a deep breath, Xu Qing's stomach emitted a slight growl. Right, tonight had a new moon. After traveling most of the night without moon essence and moonlight to replenish his energy, he felt hungry. However, zombies were notoriously resilient to hunger; even starving for years wouldn't necessarily harm them. Their hunger wasn't from not eating but from wanting to evolve into stronger zombies! To avoid trouble, Xu Qing took out the medicinal powder from the bag and sprinkled it on himself while also reciting the Mute Dog Spell from the Thirty-Six Corpse-Driving Curse Scripture. Perhaps because he was a zombie, Xu Qing felt the spell's power increase significantly upon casting, causing all his exposed aura to quickly retract into his seven apertures! The retracted nasal aura was so intense he sneezed several times. With his external aura absorbed into his body and the medicinal powder masking his corpse aura, he now appeared completely normal! Using his memory, Xu Qing navigated the streets, first passing the one where Cui's Mill was located, then winding through various paths until he reached Underground Street—the hub for funeral shops.
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