How much time has it been since that day?
I tried to remember with my dizzy mind but it was difficult.
I should have remembered the day of my girlfriend's–no, my soon-to-be girlfriend's death but I couldn't. Any woman would probably have despised me if they learned that I had forgotten something that important.
I let out a breath and smoke came out at contact with the cold air. I was currently walking in the beautiful streets of Paris aimlessly. I was not living in Paris but I came here with my soon-to-be girlfriend and other friends. I was the one proposing to go to Paris.
One would wonder who would go to Paris in winter but I had a plan. I wanted to confess to her in the city of love at the summit of the Eiffel tower. It might sound childish, cringe, embarrassing or whatever, but it was my way to express how much I loved her.
I think it will be around a week since her death.
I should have already left for London, where I live, but I was still stuck in the city of love. I had no family, so nobody would worry about me anyway. My only family might have been that girl, but she is dead now…
What a shitty life I was living.
My parents and my younger sister died in a car accident when I was just seventeen. Since then, I have lived thanks to my parents' life assurance. I lived, but for me it was just hell. I had no one to care about.
I had always been someone jovial, but since my family's death, I had become a true introvert and I liked it truthfully. I felt peaceful being alone. I could understand how the introvert I met before felt alone.
After that, I started to study IT at a school that specialized in it. It has been nearly four years since I have been studying in it, as I am now 22. As an introvert, I should have stayed alone during those four years, but no. She hadn't let me live like that. I am, of course, speaking of the woman I have loved the most in my life.
She struck the conversation with me when we had to do a project for two. By hazard, I was with her, probably the most beautiful girl I've ever met. At first, I was timid but she somehow got through me. For four years, I talked to her, I learned about her and I fell for her.
I entered a nearby bakery and waited in line. On my turn, I gave the baker two euros, the money in Europe.
"Two baguettes, please."
She smiled professionally and soon handed me two baguettes.
She answered in English with her French accent. It was cute. Now that I glanced at her, she was beautiful. Should I try something?
I shook my head at my foolish thought.
I had to meet my friend before that.
…and I forgot that I was an introvert.
Moreover, I had an average appearance, so I didn't think that a French beauty would be interested in me. It's still a wonder to me how she fell for me because, yes, I knew she was in love with me before her death. Her brother told me after all.
'She's also in you bro!'
When her brother, my friend, said that to me, I had reached the apex of happiness. I can still remember me staring at the sky with a twisted happy expression. I started to imagine fantasies about me having dates with her, the first-night, having children, raising them.
Reminiscing about that, I took a bite of the baguette.
As expected, in France, the baguettes were perfect.
People strolling on the same pavement as me smiled a little seeing me hungrily munching down the baguette in that wintery weather. Indeed, the warm baguette was now already cold but I was hungry, very hungry.
I looked at my watch and exhaled.
I took a u-turn and headed toward a peculiar place. My friend told me yesterday to come there so I agreed.
After walking for ten or so minutes, I saw the back of my friend. He was seated on a bench. He seemed to be looking at nothing peculiar. His always straight back was now slouched. I could easily beat him in this state.
Holding back the urge to kick his back, I sat next to him on the bench.
He asked in a hoarse voice. I also noticed dried tears on his cheeks but chose to ignore it.
I was confused as Emric laughed dryly suddenly.
"You are good? It had been just a week since she's dead. Ephera, my sister, your girlfriend!"
He raised his tone in the end.
I replied calmly. She was not my girlfriend as I didn't have the occasion to confess after all.
"I hadn't confessed to her, so she isn't my girlfriend."
I said, and took a bite of my baguette.
I handed one of the baguettes to Emric but the latter was just looking at me with quivering lips. I could tell he was holding back from punching me so I retreated my hand.
"What happened, Nyr? You are…have you even cared about her? I can't recognize you."
Emric finally said what he had in his mind since he saw me.
I looked back at him.
He had similar features to his sister, like Ephera. I felt seething anger bubbling up inside me, so I averted my face.
I answered with a question but it didn't please Emric in the slightest as he stood up.
I was a little surprised as I saw him walking off. He didn't punch me after all, after my indifferent attitude.
I put the bag of baguettes on the bench and stood up.
He didn't even turn around when he said that to me.
I ignored his words and rushed at him.
"You know, Ephera, she was not bad."
Emric stopped walking. I could see him clenching his fists.
"I was lucky to get her. Still…"
A smirk slowly crept on my face.
"It's a shame, I haven't had at least one night with he-"
A strong fist collided with my cheek and I was flung away. I bumped my head on the bench and slid on the ground.
Warm blood flowed down from my head, but I ignored it and looked at Emric, with a painful smile.
"You disgust me Nyr. I've been friends with a fucker like you and even let my sister with you…"
Emric shook his head and walked away.
I sighed and stood up. Patting out my clothes, I took the bag of baguettes.
I noticed that a few people were looking at me. They were probably curious about what happened.
My gaze fell on a little girl who was hugging her mother's leg while staring at me.
I handed the bag of baguettes."
The mother smiled politely as she said something in French, then walked away with her daughter.
"It was a joke. It's for me."
I hugged the bag and headed home to treat my injury.