How Am I Still Alive?

About How Am I Still Alive? Novel

Terminal illness? A spiritual apocalypse? This dying exorcist just wants a pension, but somehow, he keeps surviving in this hilarious comedy!

In a world reeling from a spiritual awakening that spells doom for countless souls, our protagonist has bigger, or rather, smaller problems. Marked for death by a terminal illness and abandoned by conventional medicine, he’s not fighting for humanity; he’s just trying to clock out with a decent pension. His chosen profession? Exorcist-for-hire, a job with an infamously short lifespan. This is the uproarious premise of “How Am I Still Alive? Novel” a dark comedy that defies expectations at every turn.

He readily takes on the most dangerous assignments: cursed cultivation techniques, deadly magic swords that devour their wielders, soul-devouring blood claws, and man-eating enchanted helms. The heavens condemn these forbidden arts, promising swift and certain death to all who dabble. But he doesn’t care. He collects these catastrophic curses and doomsday weapons like morbid souvenirs, always haggling for bulk discounts. Every task *should* be his last. Every monster, every curse, every forbidden power is designed to kill. Yet, somehow, impossibly, he survives. He thrives. He becomes a legend.

Then, a chilling notification from the system drops like another curse: “[Congratulations on becoming the First of the Ten World-Moving Heroes…]” This isn't what he signed up for. He was supposed to die in three and a half years – the standard for his profession, a lifespan even S-rank hunters rarely exceed. But here he is, still inexplicably alive, still laughing, still dancing through the apocalypse. All he ever wanted was one honorable sacrifice, a tidy pension payout, and a peaceful, early grave. Why is survival so stubbornly persistent?

“How Am I Still Alive? Novel” is a hilarious and dramatic exploration of a man who just wants to die, but can’t seem to escape his own absurd success. This side-splitting comedy delves into the irony of destiny, the absurdity of power, and the unexpected perils of immortality when all you crave is oblivion. Get ready for a wild ride filled with dark humor, unlikely heroism, and a protagonist who just can't catch a break... from living.