After the Ministry's food-delivery guy left, the Dementors started divvying up the crate's contents to each cell—keeping the prisoners alive longer meant more happiness to snack on down the line.
Cohn really wished Norbert, back in his suitcase, could learn some self-sufficiency instead of lounging in his cave and scarfing down everything in one go.
Even Dementors knew the difference between a quick binge and steady meals!
Once night fell—conveniently a moonless one—Cohn skimmed low over the dark sea, slipping back to shore unnoticed.
He looped back to where he'd started: Montgomery Nott's vacation cottage. The lights were still on inside.
*Knock, knock, knock!*
Cohn rapped on the door. The bald old geezer shuffled over in his pajamas, huffing and puffing.
"Done touring in just one day?" Montgomery asked with his usual greasy grin, the picture of a seasoned schmoozer.
"My friend lied to me—he's off vacationing in France," Cohn said, spinning the excuse effortlessly. "Forget it, I'm heading back."
"Kids' plans change in a flash. Want to hang out here for a few days?" Montgomery ushered Cohn inside, all warm and welcoming.
Why did everyone feel shady all of a sudden?
Cohn eyed the bald guy warily—straight out of his mental image of a creepy British old-timer.
"Nah, I'm good. I'll head straight back. Not big on crashing at other people's places," Cohn declined.
Montgomery didn't push it—a smart move. If Cohn sniffed anything off, he'd go straight into self-defense mode. Boys had to stay sharp out here, especially in Britain.
Via Floo Powder, Cohn zipped back to Wiltshire and made a beeline for Malfoy Manor.
Lucius was still in the hall, like he'd been waiting—Cohn's Azkaban trip hadn't taken a full day, after all.
Cohn shoved the door open and strode in. Lucius jumped up from his armchair to greet him.
"The Lestrange vault?" Lucius probed, already scheming. Most of the Lestrange family's big shots were in France, sure, but the British branch still had a fat stash…
Not that Lucius was some petty thief—just hoping for a little payoff after sticking his neck out this far.
"Yeah," Cohn said, catching the hint in Lucius's tone. The guy clearly wanted to skim some goodies from the Lestrange vault, but Cohn couldn't care less.
If he ever ran short on cash, he'd just hit up Hagrid—or raid Norbert's "mattress," sell some unicorn hair, dragon scales, dragon blood, or Acromantula venom. Easy money.
Making a fortune in the wizarding world was a breeze, especially for Cohn, the Forbidden Forest's resident "beast whisperer."
"The proof for Gringotts is Bella and Rodolphus's wands, stashed behind the fireplace at the British Lestrange Manor," Cohn explained.
Lucius's face twitched, though—something was up.
"What's wrong?" Cohn asked.
"Lestrange Manor's been trashed," Lucius said, his tone weird. "After the couple got locked up in Azkaban, some folks with old grudges—because of… past stuff—wrecked the place."
Made sense. Bellatrix, that nutjob, had done countless awful things under Voldemort. Pissing people off was her specialty. If her house stayed pristine after Voldemort's fall and her whole crew got nabbed, *that'd* be the real shocker.
Still, Cohn didn't buy that the wands were gone. In the original story, Bellatrix reclaimed her own wand after breaking out.
There had to be some protective magic lingering there.
"Take me there tomorrow. We'll find them," Cohn said. "Then we hit Gringotts for the cup, and this plan's done."
"Sounds about right…" Lucius agreed, treading carefully.
As for crashing that night, Lucius offered a guest room. Cohn said sure, but slipped back into his suitcase house anyway.
He was picky about beds—his own nest was just comfier.
Plus, he had to introduce the little Dementor to Earl and the gang. Springing it on them later might send Earl into another panic.
"You *actually* brought a Dementor back?!" Earl gawked as Cohn let the little one out of the pouch.
"It insisted on tagging along. What was I supposed to do, break its heart?" Cohn said, all reasonable. "Relax, it won't hurt you. Look—it's not even sucking your soul."
Cohn pointed at the little Dementor drifting happily by his side.
"And the little black cloak's kinda cute—long as it keeps its hands tucked under the robe."
"Cute? You're calling *that* cute? I knew it—you're finally turning into one of them…" Earl rasped, voice dry. "You're all blind."
"I'm naming him Mick. Since he calls me Daddy, it's Mick Norton!" Cohn said, ignoring Earl's griping.
"How touching. Dementor family vibes. Do you guys kiss the same people's mouths too?" Earl snarked.
"Looks like you're getting used to it already," Cohn said, eyebrow raised as Earl kept dishing out sass. "Still got jokes, huh?"
"I can't feel happiness anymore," Earl growled. "This used to make me happy! Now? Nothing! You can't keep it here—I'll die!"
**[I actually think it's fine.]**
Ali, surprisingly, didn't mind the little Dementor. Her mood stayed steady.
In fact, she kinda liked it.
"Figures you'd be the only one whining, Earl," Cohn sighed. "This is just a heads-up. Mick's staying in my Niffler pouch, not living here."
He scooped Mick back into the pouch, and after a long day, Cohn left the study for a cozy sleep upstairs.
Next morning, Cohn woke up early.
A hungry Norbert was throwing a tantrum on the floor—loud as hell—but Cohn ignored it. Whose fault was it for eating the whole flock in one sitting?
That's the pain he wanted: hunger to teach a lesson.
A few days of starving, then he'd fetch new sheep. Build some willpower.
If that failed, he'd swap it out. Dragon eggs were a dime a dozen in this world—plenty of baby dragons could step up if Norbert couldn't hack it.
**[Ding! Sin Value +10]**
*[Note: Evil from every angle, yet somehow not a villain. How do you pull that off?]*
And since Norbert couldn't take Ali in a fight, Cohn didn't have to worry about it eating her or Earl.
"Favoritism breeds boldness. Want some owl chow, little lady dragon?"
Earl, up bright and early, swooped outside, flaunting his breakfast in Norbert's face. The dragon drooled like crazy.
Yup, real family vibes.
Cohn left the suitcase, satisfied.
Next up: Lestrange Manor to grab those wands.