"So, did you guys pay him?" Cohen asked. "How much do you give him a month?"
"Paid him," Edward replied, starting the car and nodding. "Your mom and I were originally thinking of giving him two Galleons a week – if he was willing to handle the housework and was a good cook... but he said he only needs one Galleon a month to buy clothes and get gifts for his friends."
"In that case," Cohen said curiously, "doesn't that mean your last bit of usefulness in this house is gone too?"
This time, he didn't even get a 3.0 rating!
All the way home, Edward and Cohen debated "whether Edward had any value in this family," and in the end, Edward won the argument for reasons that weren't explicitly stated but were understood by both of them.
"Being an adult is really great..." Cohen sighed as he got out of the car.
"Didn't see you find any girlfriends at school either," Edward said, patting Cohen on the back of the head. "Are you just hanging out with your friends in the Forbidden Forest every day?"
"Women are nothing but trouble!" Cohen said seriously. "Look at your stomach and your chin, aren't they getting more and more like a greasy, middle-aged has-been? Your whole life has been ruined by women..."
"Nonsense, I am a middle-aged man, and I'm not a has-been at all!" Edward deliberately sucked in his beer belly. "Your grandmother always says I'm thin—"
"Your belt's falling off," Cohen reminded him.
Edward awkwardly loosened his tensed stomach muscles to avoid his pants falling down in the street.
As soon as they entered the house, a small creature with two tennis ball-sized green eyes and bat-like ears rushed over to Cohen.
Unlike the house-elves who used to wear tea-cosies, Dobby was now wearing an old, small sweater – Cohen thought it looked like one he had outgrown.
Cohen slammed the door shut. Leaving it open with Dobby's appearance, which clearly wasn't from the "real world," would easily be seen by outsiders— Muggles.
"Didn't Edward and Rose tell you this is Muggle territory?" Cohen frowned. "Don't appear in the entryway..."
"Sorry, sir! Dobby has been thinking about this! Dobby just wanted... wanted to repay sir's kindness—"
Dobby said in a high-pitched voice, pausing as if instinctively wanting to look around for something to punish himself with.
"We have an employment relationship, not a wizard and house-elf relationship," Cohen reminded him. "No need to bang your head with my umbrella – my dad's shoes are off-limits too."
"Yes, sir... Dobby is still not quite used to it..." Dobby released the umbrella handle in his left hand and a hard-soled shoe in his right, but he quickly returned to normal. "But Dobby is very happy! Sir, Dobby looked for a long, long time... Other wizarding families were unwilling to accept Dobby – because Dobby wants to be a free house-elf!"
"And then Dobby found sir's house!" Dobby said happily. "Dobby can have wages! And holidays and clothes!"
"Coming to my house is pretty good too," Cohen thought. He didn't mind Dobby working in his house and could even use him to keep an eye on the Silver Key members who might cause trouble at any moment. "It'll lighten Edward's load, but in the future, try to stay indoors as much as possible to avoid being seen by Muggles—"
There was a knock at the door.
"See, the Muggles are here..." Cohen said with a headache. "Who is it?"
"It's your dad," the person outside the door said calmly.
"Ha, almost forgot you outside," Cohen explained to a helpless-looking Edward as he let him in.
"You just wanted to get revenge, didn't you?" Edward saw right through Cohen's poor acting towards his family. "Still angry?"
"Me? Hold a grudge? Never. I wouldn't hold a grudge against you until I was thirteen just because you left me at the zoo for three hours when I was nine," Cohen said.
After tossing the box to Dobby and telling him to take it to his room, Cohen lay down on the sofa.
"You remember things from four years ago so clearly, and you still say you don't hold grudges?" Edward also lay down beside him, his gaze seemingly shouting, "You're totally holding a grudge!" "I was just talking about not making you a new copy..."
"I don't care about gifts," Cohen said suddenly. "Even if my Christmas present is just a toothpick, it's fine."
"Huh?" Edward reached out and put his arm around Cohen's shoulders.
"But don't scare me with fake emergencies again in the future," Cohen emphasized once more.
"Are you that scared...?" Edward said solemnly. "I promise you, I won't joke about that again."
Cohen said with relief,
"You haven't saved up enough inheritance yet, dying suddenly would be a huge loss..."
"You little brat—" Edward chuckled and lightly tapped Cohen's head with his knuckles.
After getting home, Cohen took a shower and came downstairs just in time to see Rose picking up Martha for Christmas.
Two kittens that looked less than a year old were meowing incessantly downstairs. Mr. Fluffy was leading them towards the Christmas tree – where there was a cat bed big enough for several cats to sleep comfortably.
"Cohen—" Grandma Martha happily rushed over and gave him a tight hug as soon as she saw him on the stairs. "Why do you still look so skinny? Did you not eat enough at Hogwarts? Or was the school food not to your liking? I have to write to Headmaster Dumbledore and ask him to add some of Cohen's favorite dishes to the school menu—"
"Maybe we should skip that," Cohen mumbled into Martha's embrace. "The school food is fine, I'm just not used to eating too much..."
It's normal for regular parents to write to Hogwarts asking for more food, but Cohen...
Weren't the things Dementors liked to eat all over the Great Hall?
"Mr. Fluffy can take care of these kittens," Martha finally released Cohen and turned to Rose. "Mr. Fluffy can always handle those curious and mischievous little cats – Rose, you should rest too and enjoy your holiday. And Ed, leave the household chores for later. I'm going to make you all a wonderful dinner tonight – guess what dish I learned from Mrs. Russell in town the other day..."
"Why don't we let Dobby help you?" Edward didn't want to dampen Martha's enthusiasm, so he had Dobby watch over her to prevent her from messing up dinner.
"Dobby?" Martha asked, puzzled.
"It is Dobby! Mistress!" Dobby appeared in front of Martha with a pop and gave her a deep bow. "Mr. Norton hired Dobby, Dobby can cook and do laundry!"
"Then what use is Edward anymore?" Martha said worriedly, echoing Cohen's almost exact sentiment.
"Mom..." Edward said, his forehead covered in black lines of exasperation. "Give me some face..."
"Hahahaha..." Rose covered her face and laughed.