"Dumbledore won't let you succeed…"
Voldemort never imagined he'd say those words himself.
But right now, all he wanted was the Philosopher's Stone. Even this evil-natured, inherently wicked dark magic experiment wouldn't stand a chance against Dumbledore—otherwise, Dumbledore would never have allowed this little creature to enroll.
As long as he got his hands on that blasted stone, he could easily whip up a new body and make his grand comeback.
If he made too big a move and Dumbledore caught wind of it, the plan would be ruined.
"Actually… my demands aren't that high…" Voldemort rasped to Cohen in a threadbare voice. "I need a stone. It's hidden in the fourth-floor corridor at Hogwarts…"
"Oh, oh, oh…" Cohen let out a sound like a KFC jingle. "So, how are you planning to steal it?"
Voldemort revealed a little to Cohen: as his current host, Quirrell couldn't just waltz up to the fourth-floor corridor. He had to be where he was supposed to be at all times—teaching classes, eating meals, preparing lessons in his office—otherwise, someone would notice.
"Release a monster into the school?" Cohen suggested. "How about a dragon? That thing could rampage around and bite a bunch of students to death. Dumbledore would definitely be too busy—"
"You're a bit too extreme…"
Voldemort shot down Cohen's idea immediately. Forget whether they could even get an adult dragon—how would they sneak something bigger than Hogwarts' front gates into the school? It was unthinkable.
Plus, if students actually died, Voldemort had a feeling an enraged Dumbledore would stop at nothing to hunt him down…
The Hogwarts bell tolled. Quirrell didn't have the luxury of an idle afternoon like Cohen—he had classes to teach.
"Saturday afternoon… same place…" Voldemort set the time for their next meeting with Cohen.
Then Quirrell hurriedly waved his wand, wrapping the scarf back around his head. He adjusted his facial expression, slipping back into his stuttering, neurotic persona.
"N-Norton, I hope you w-won't… tell anyone about this."
Before leaving, Quirrell cast a spell on Cohen and issued a warning.
If Quirrell found out he'd been exposed, a primed Avada Kedavra curse embedded in Cohen would erupt instantly.
Cohen nodded obediently.
Wow, so scary—an Avada Kedavra, oh no, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. No way I'd spill this.
"I'm helping a dark wizard blow up Hogwarts on Halloween Eve. Do you know where I can find a dragon?"
Inside the Room of Requirement, Cohen asked Earl.
"Huh? What mischief are you up to now—wait, what did you just say?!" Earl's pupils shrank in shock.
Dark wizard, blowing up the school, dragon…
Were these things a little wizard should be messing with?
No, wait—which dark wizard?! Since when did Cohen team up with a dark wizard?!
Just a few days ago, Dumbledore had entrusted Earl with the important task of "guiding Cohen properly." How had it gone from starting that mission to ending it in the blink of an eye?!
This naturally evil little Dementor didn't even need a dark influence—it turned wicked and cruel all on its own.
"Blowing up the school and helping a dark wizard are secondary. The main thing is I've never seen a live dragon." Cohen rubbed his hands together. "Too bad that dark wizard said I was a bit too extreme—"
"You're a bit too damn extreme, yeah."
Earl chimed in, realizing Cohen was half-joking, but the "dark wizard" and "causing trouble" parts were likely real.
"There are no wild dragons around here. Not even in the Scottish Highlands."
"Sigh…" Cohen let out a disappointed breath. No chance to sneak a peek at a dragon.
Maybe he could beg Rose and Edward to take him to Romania over Christmas. They had the world's biggest dragon breeding grounds there.
"How'd you end up mixed up with a dark wizard?" Earl tilted his head. "Haven't you been at school the whole time?"
"There's one right here at school. Voldemort—you know him?"
Cohen told Earl about the noseless old geezer stuck to the back of Quirrell's head.
"You're not planning to tell the other hairless folks?" Earl asked. "Like that white-bearded guy?"
"No way, I don't want to die." Cohen immediately shot down Earl's suggestion, adding pitifully, "That guy put a curse on me. If I spill, I'll get hit with an Avada Kedavra—"
Earl gave Cohen a cold, "Do you think I believe you?" stare.
If Cohen hadn't hit him with a death curse just the other day, that excuse might've been more convincing.
"You just want to have some fun, don't you?"
"But bringing a dragon into school would be so cool."
"There are no dragons in the Scottish Highlands!" Earl shouted in exasperation. "Play with something else on your own. I'm done—I'm heading to London to lay low."
"What about a troll?"
Cohen remembered that Quirrell's original Halloween Eve special was a troll. If he brought one in himself, it'd probably rack up a decent chunk of sin points.
Then, right when the troll was about to hurt someone, he could swoop in heroically, eat its soul, and score some goodwill points too.
"At least that's better than a dragon…"
Earl clicked his tongue and replied.
"There should be some in the mountains—I've seen troll caves while hunting field mice."
Relieved that Cohen wasn't fixated on dragons anymore, Earl figured a troll was at least more manageable than a dragon. Any professor at the school could handle one.
Good grief, a bird like him shouldn't have to worry about this school!
It was all that white-bearded old man's fault—Earl kept feeling like if Cohen caused trouble, it'd somehow be because he hadn't taught him well enough.
The rest of the weekend was perfect but incomplete for Cohen. No library books, no battling wits with Voldemort, no sneaking into the Forbidden Forest to eat souls behind the centaurs' backs.
If he wanted, he could lounge by the fireplace in the common room until the sky went dark.
Or he could tag along with the Weasley twins to cause chaos, rediscovering the simple joy and excitement of being a student.
In just one Saturday morning, Cohen, Fred, and George pulled off no fewer than five big stunts. These included, but weren't limited to, shaving Mrs. Norris bald, tossing seven dungbombs at the Slytherin common room entrance, and hawking seemingly normal hiccough sweets to classmates (since the Weasley twins' reputation preceded them, this task fell almost entirely to Cohen—no one suspected a first-year).
While reaping the fun, Cohen also banked nearly a hundred sin points.
He'd always lived by the motto of not overlooking even the smallest mischief, earning dozens of sin points daily. Now, his sin value had reached a level where he could buy soul fragments again.
[Current Goodwill Value: 1207]
[Current Sin Value: 1077]
But with a Forbidden Forest harvest plan lined up for next week, Cohen wasn't in a rush to buy soul fragments just yet.
Besides soul fragments, the system shop had other fun goodies…
[Junior Dementor Disguise Kit]
[A magical necklace that transforms your appearance into a Dementor—perfect for floating around on Halloween and scoring extra candy! (Note: This item cannot turn a human into an actual Dementor.)]
[Cost: 500 Sin Points]