Husnah's Point Of View.
The pain in my abdomen was unlike any pain I've ever felt. It hurts alot... I fought so hard to open my eyes, they just wouldn't even flip a little.
I shifted uncomfortably at the iron bed I was lying on. God! Where the hell was I? This wasn't my king sized bed, the one Abbah bought me, the one I had at home... Nabeel's home. My heart beat increased as soon as the name 'Nabeel' popped into my head.
Nabeel!
Nabeel!
Nabeel!
With each passing moment, my heart beat increases as the name 'Nabeel' kept ringing in my head. I was afraid. I felt my body trembling and tears rolling down my cheeks. I was trembling... like I was gonna explode any moment from now.
And then....
I felt a strong hand pushing me down on the bed, as I fought to free myself, my eyes still closed.
"Stay still!" A voice I'll remembered in my dream, in reality, in daytime or during the night. In happiness or sadness. A voice that will forever remain in my heart, my head... buried deep within my soul. I suddenly have the courage to open my eyes.
Nabeel!.
I didn't know how it happened, I couldn't even recall what had happened, all I did was shout on top of my voice, a voice I never knew i had that loud.
"Help!" I yelped
"Stay still Husnah". He tried calming me, but I was super afraid of him.
"Let go of me please!" I yelled again. "Ka tausayamun mana (Have mercy on me)" I said, breaking down. I could feel my throat so dry. Thus, he let go of me. And without second thoughts, I removed the drip attached to my left hand and made to get up.
A sharp pain welcomed my abdomen, and I couldn't help but cry out loud.
"Handemin boni yoyo" I blurted out. I couldn't even sit up right. I had to lie down again, my heart beating like it was going to rip me apart.
Nabeel made a move closer to me, and my eyes spotted a scissors by the bedside. I didn't hesitate to pick it up, fidgeting it on my left hand
"The moment you add one more step, I'll cut myself". I threatened.
He stepped back. I could see a look of sorrow in his eyes. I hated him! I hated him way too much!.
I couldn't control my tears, so I let them flow, I wanna cry out my sorrows, but sorrows like this never find their way out of someone's heart. It takes time... or maybe forever.
"I hate you Nabeel. I'll never forgive you for this pain, this is the worst thing I've ever face. MARITAL RAPE! How could you Nabeel? How? You hate me that much? You ruined my life, broke my heart into pieces, shattered my dreams. Trampled on every single hope I have for loving you and working this marriage out. I was putting my all into it, trying to make us fall inlove with each other, ashe I was wrong, deep inside your heart was a plan for you to just RAPE ME. Haba Nabeel! I'm your wife Goddammit!" I broke down completely, dropped the scissors and buried my head in my hands. I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of their sockets any moment soon. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you Nabeel!" I yelled.
He made a move closer to me, my heart beat increased, as fear gripped my soul. My heart was pounding so hard, loudly. I put my hand on my chest as the beating increased.
"Dan... dan Allah, don't come any clo... closer" I stammered.
He still didn't halt, his eyes held emotions I didn't know.
"Dan...dan...dannn..." I tried to speak up, but my voice choked up. My eyes shutting... I tried so hard to keep them open, I just couldn't.
Darkness. I was in complete darkness.
*****
Nabeel's Point Of View.
'What have I done? Yaa Rabbi! I've made a huge mess. My wife, my Asma'a... I raped her! Lord... this isn't me'.
She just fainted for the second time. 'I only made a move to talk to her. Is she that afraid of me now? Lord! No... this can't be'. I didn't know what came over me, I just loose my senses at the sight of her.
'You should have asked politely mister'. My self conscious reminded me.
'But what if she didn't yield to my request?'.
'You still should have asked. If she denies you your marital right, then beg. Or are you too big to beg?'.
Dammit! I was already going crazy.
I was standing while watching her been checked by the doctors. I couldn't even think straight, neither could I think of something to do. I knew she was emotionally broke, completely.
I was tired of standing, so I made my way to sit on a bench outside the wardroom.
Then my phone buzzed...
Fareedah!
I've almost forgot I had another wife, a wife I claimed to love more than anything. How did I even forget about her?
"Reedah" I chirped in slowly.
"Baby, good morning" she greeted.
"Morning, kin tashi lafiya?" I replied, still sounding sad. I wanted her to notice and ask me what was wrong but she didn't.
"I'll be coming back tomorrow. I'm done over here" she said happily.
'Lord, not now!'.
'Not when I'm in this mess... No!'
"Are you sure? I thought saura kwana biyar before you will done?" I asked, praying deep inside that she extend her stay. But to my uttermost dismay...
"No baby. I'm missing you so very much. I booked a plane already, expect me tomorrow morning. I love you". And just then, she ended the call.
A day later...
I just didn't know what to do next. I had to call Amrah to come take care of Husnah. The very moment I stepped my foot into the room, she cried like her eyes are gonna pop out. I had to stop going in there.
Her words touched my heart;
"Amrah, I never knew he hates me this much, from what I know... only an enemy can have an evil mind like his. I'm his wife, I deserve to be respected. Amrah I'm trying, I'm still trying to make him love me... he had eyes for my body only... why didn't he just ask? Why did he have to rape me Amrah? Why? Why?" She said crying.
I could hear her beating her chest, "It pains here, it hurts a lot. I feel empty. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him more than anything in this world".
I pepped through the doorknob and i saw her clutching her legs so tight.
Crying.
Crying.
'Mehn! I'm in soup'.
I forgot totally that Fareedah was coming back today. I slipped down to the floor. Wishing i didn't do what I did to her. If only I could turn back time and reverse everything.
My eyes caught a foot standing in front of me. They look exactly like that of Fareedah!
'Lord! No!'. I looked up quickly and my eyes locked up with hers. Behind her where people I never wanted them to know what had happened.
'What the hell is happening here?'. I wondered.
Fear gripped my heart and I began to tremble. Fareedah was crying, her eyes filled with sorrow and so where the ladies behind her. As for the guys... I saw a look of hatred there.
***** ***** *****