But hearing them come out of her own lips still left her startled. She felt like a weight lifted from her chest, the pain suddenly disappearing like finding warmth after ice cold. While she still wasn't over the shock of admitting that she was in love with Dean, this was definitely a difficult situation. She was confused between laughing or calling for help but the giddy feeling made her fall over the edge and she burst out laughing. She couldn't believe her eyes but yet it was too hilarious to not laugh at.
Dean had fainted.
He had actually fainted.
The sound of her laughter was loud enough for Jamie, June and her mother to come rushing in. She was too busy laughing and moaning in pain at the same time to notice anything else.
"What happened to him?" Jamie asked, his eyes held mild confusion towards the unconscious body on the ground.
"Did he finally die?" June was saying but Sara had a hard time forming words.
"I probably gave him a shock, waking up so suddenly." Sara lied, trying not to break into a grin but her cheeks were hurting due to the effort it was taking. It was more surprising to slip a lie from her tongue so easily.
Jamie brought some water from the bathroom and poured all of it over Dean's face who woke up, startled. Looking around his eyes stopped on her and she could see he wasn't breathing anymore. His stare was burning her skin, it was heated, intense or just a stare but yet she felt like her pulse was dancing to it, flushing her whole body. It was like tango instead of waltz, flying instead of walking.
"Are you okay?" Mum asked him, worried, helping him stand with Jamie.
"I am never been better in my whole life." Dean replied, eyes still not leaving her face. She wished she could read his mind right now because she had never seen him so...real. Had never seem his eyes dance or smile.
"Its getting late, doctor said you can go home tomorrow. They would like to keep you under observation till morning just to be sure." Jamie said, his eyes moving from his sister to Dean. He wasn't a fool, he knew something had happened, something which had made Dean fly to the ninth cloud because where his expressions were completely blank, his hands were waltzing along with his nerves and his eyes, his eyes were gleaming. His twitching lips which were begging to move upwards in a grin bad Jamie smiling himself. He could see that Dean was trying very hard to not jump his sister, not in that way but in a puppy way.
"I'll stay." The words left Dean's mouth faster than anyone could breathe. They didn't surprise anyone but were met with two identical grins and a growl from June.
Sara knew her mother was staring at her, waiting for her to object and she did just not for the same reasons.
"Go home, Dean." She said softly. He looked like a ghost. She knew her objection had disappeared into the thin air because he wasn't going to listen but she wanted him to go home, get some rest, not think over anything and breath so she could too.
She was a dumb person, even she was admitting that but she had an idea what he went through in the hours she was unconscious because putting her in his place seem like a wake-up call she desperately needed.
Like when her body had moved to save him, how painless it was comparing to the image of him getting hurt. Before the impact had hit her, she knew she was in love with this childlike man who would give her the world if she asks.
He stared at her quietly, almost as if reading her every thought, understanding.
"I'll stay." June put in.
"No, go home. All of you." Sara said. She wanted to be with him but yet she wanted to be alone. She needed to calm her heart before it burst out for every eye to see. The reality which was going in her head, she wanted to not leak out.
"But---"
"No buts, June. Go home. I'll be fine."
Her mother smiled at her and nodded. The only one seem to objecting was June but one stubborn glance from Sara had her backing down or the fact that at least even Dean wasn't staying was enough for her.
She knew that Dean would still stay, they would have to drag him to take him away from her. Not today, not right now, not after this.
Her mum kissed her goodnight and told her to call her if she needed anything. Jamie pinched her nose and grinned and June hugged her tightly. They all got up to leave but Jamie paused and whispered something in Dean's ear which made him smirk wickedly at her.
She wanted to squeak.
After they left, Dean was finally left alone with her, sitting beside her he seemed to be waiting for them to be alone because the second he was sure they had left the hospital, she was in his arms and he was laughing, loudly.
The sound seemed to storm from deep inside him, as if he was blissfully happy. So much that the laugh seems to escape him almost unconsciously. It was shattering something inside her.
"I am never leaving you again, O'Brian. Especially not tonight." He said, kissing her hair. His eyes dancing in the dark room, the shadow in the corners also seem to be roaming in his liveness. He had never looked so alive, so blinding.
She was starstruck. She felt the air stuck in her throat and she never wanted to breathe again, just hold on to this moment forever because where she couldn't pass the oxygen through her nose- she had never felt so alive. It was like catching your breath after holding it for too long. But instead of inhaling oxygen, she was inhaling an addicted drug and God, she wanted it to continue.
Dean's laugh was that drug. She had never seen him laugh. Never saw his whole body waltzing while being in one place. Never saw his eyes so light in color or wet from glee. She had seen him cry in her dreams but never from happiness.
She never loved him more than she did at this moment. Loved him more for his love for her.
"You look happy." She broke the silence. His eyes still have not left her face. What he found so interesting; she had no idea. She probably looked like a train wreak but she had never cared so less because he made her feel like she was the only thing that mattered, that existed.
"Do you know how long I have waited for this moment? From how long I have not breathed properly? Happy is a small word to describe what I feel." He answered her statement. His fingers brushing her cheek softly, his other hand held hers- soft lips touched them like air every now and then and every time she would forget to breathe.
"You have no idea how much self-control it is taking for me to not pick you up and run away, hide you so I can wipe those missed years." He continued, his eyes flashed in wild intensity for a only a second and then turned to the gleeful shine again.
Her mind was going dumb.
"My love for you have been knocking inside of me for so long that I feel like any second, the door would burst open and I'll lose it. But I want to cherish you, I want to love you slowly, eagerly. I want you stay the Sara O'Brian you are as you fall deeper for me; I want to take you so deep with me that you would forget you ever needed air. I want to become your air, your heart, your mind, your home. I want you to love the me who love you, the me who is a crybaby, who is stubborn, who could spoil you so rotten that you won't even need to move from your bed. I love you baby. For so long that I no longer know anything expect loving you. So when you say I look happy, baby- I am happy, enough to start jumping, enough to run like a crazy person, enough to not feel my mind so less that I can't even understand the words I have been saying."
She had long stopped trying to find a space to breath. He wasn't giving her the space which wasn't even needed anymore. He has said he wanted to be air and almost unconsciously her body had given him his wish.
She knew her stare was returned with a loopy, goofy smile. She really couldn't believe he was Dean.
"Close your eyes baby, get some sleep." He whispered, still smiling. His lips brushed along hers softly but three seconds later they came back again, almost unconsciously to touch hers. This time she felt them as more then air, she felt the warmth and gentleness- and embraced it. For the first time, she responded back- closing her eyes, with her clumsy attempt she kissed him back. His response assured her that he didn't give a flying fuck about her clumsiness because the next thing she knew, his tongue was in her mouth.
Her eyes flashed open in surprise for only a second, but closed as she concentrated on doing something rather than overthinking and not breathing. Dean probably guessed as much because he leaned away, eyes wild and dark. Breath out of rhythm.
"Please go to sleep before I..." He pleaded. More to himself than to her. His breathing still lost to him.
Her face still felt too warm.
Closing her eyes, she attempted to sleep while listening quietly to Dean's breathing as it got from ragged to calm again. She could feel his eyes on her though, because she felt the same burn she did when he always looked at her. But it was him who fell asleep first. While keeping his eyes on her, staring with those dark globes which made her shiver, he had unknowingly fell into deep slumber while still holding her close. She had opened her eyes to his soft snoring and saw him with eyes closed and mouth slightly open.
He looked like a child.
She discovered then that as long as his eyes were closed, he was just another beautiful man. But as long as his eyes opened, he was the beautiful man in love with her. She also realized that it was the first time she had watched him sleep. He was always awake before her and the last thing she always fell asleep to were his open eyes, gawking at her face.
Why was it that so many realizations hit her on one single day? Has she been hurting him all this time? He did leave her but wouldn't she had done the same. Had done the same? It was the moment her body had moved on its own like it had its own mind that she realized that his actions were explainable, his excuse was okay because the moment of panic to save him, she had done the first thing she could think of. He also did the same. Both of their actions were stupid but people in love usually do stupid things in it.
Her hand reached to finger his hair, the front was slightly wet, he probably washed his face a while ago. Breathing him in, he smelled like his old cologne. It was faint but still there.
A small laugh escaped her lips when she remembered that it was her who gave him this scent the first time when he turned fifteen to celebrate his manliness. She thanked god that it was her mother who picked it or else he would still be wearing that flowery scent that she was going to choose.
Cold wind touched her nose, turning her head she saw the window slightly open. It probably touched Dean as well because he pulled her even closer which had her flinching slightly. He just pressed the bruise on her waist.
Wondering if old habits were still there, she gently tapped his shoulder.
"Hmmm?" He was still asleep.
"Dean, my waist." She whispered.
Still unconsciously, he removed his hand from her waist and moved it to her leg.
Blushing she growled again, "Dean!"
"Hmmm?"
"Hand! Move!"
This time his hand went up to her shoulder and stayed there while he shifted slightly to readjust himself in a comfortable position. Well, as comfortable as you can get on a single bed with a bruised person.
A yawn escaped her mouth but she didn't want to sleep yet. In the back of her mind, she was still afraid to close her eyes. She no longer wanted to see those dreams again, no longer wanted to see Dean in that state. No longer wanted to wake up to find the bed empty.
She wondered for how long these fears would continue to haunt her, what else was needed to be done for him to proof that he was staying for good. What did she need from him?
But for once she was sure of something. If she woke up to find the bed cold from his space, this time she'll wait. For as long as she has to, she'll wait for him. Because he was there when she thought he had left, he had been with her when she cried, when she laughed, when she slept and when she was awake. When she wanted to kill herself and when she wanted to live so he will be there always.
Her heart clutched painfully at the thought but her eyes stayed dry. She no longer wished to break down on such thoughts. He was finally with her, she wished to live as long as the time stayed the same.
For after so long, she had been able to touch his warmth, she wanted to stay there for however long life was there to be.
Because Dean was always her forever.