I'm numb. Feelings are not with me anymore.
One can say it's cold but I can't feel the cold. One can burn in the fire but I don't 'coz I can't even feel it. One can feel pain and my body yearns for it, but the feeling of pain is not there.
Pain is my drug. It is keeping me alive.
I want to stab myself but I can't 'coz mom made me promised to stop stabbing myself. And I did... for her. So running nonstop is my only option, running is vigorous to achieve the pain my body needed.
Feelings. A word that I don't have. A word I yearned to become a real human. The reason I enter this Martinez Grey Academy.
This monster wanted to earn... is feelings.
I know the meaning of friendship but I don't feel it, I just stick to its idea.
The only thing I know that functions properly is my mind, it controls my body. Emotions don't control it anymore and... pain charges my body to maintain my mind in proper function.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I was out of dazed when Cassy asked me. We are in the restaurant of the school eating our lunch.
"You wouldn't like it," I stated blankly. I didn't tell her about my battle with Daniela last week.
"Of course I wouldn't like it!" She yelled which caused some students to look at us.
"Please, lower your voice Cassy." Drena calmed her.
Cassy and Drena are my board mates, well they considered themselves as my friends. But, I don't know what really friendship feels like, I just go with the flow.
"See? That's why I didn't tell you." I said blankly.
"But s-" She was cut off.
"Well, well, well. Look who's here." I already sensed her coming when the students became silent a little earlier. Daniela.
She is known as the strongest girl fighter here in the Academy. I smirked, strongest huh.
"Just go Dane. We're not here for a fight." Drena's voice was hard, resisting the urge to fight her.
"Oh really? I'm not here to fight either, I just want to send my regards to your friend here." She said faking a sweet voice pointing at me from behind.
Drena and Cassy formed their hands in a fist.
"How are you Claire? I'm surprised you're still alive. Good then, because I'm not yet satisfied with what I've done to you..." She leaned closer to my ear "I want more." She whispered but clear for the two to hear.
I smirked more to myself. Me too, I want more... pain.
Drena slapped her hands on the table and Cassy directly stand up, I held Cassy's hand and shook my head. She's hardheaded as she tried pulling her hand off of me to face Daniela, but it didn't budge. I did not hold it tight or I might break her hand.
"No, don't stop me, Claire! She's out of boundary!" Her voice was venomous trying to pull her hands off of me, I pulled her back to her chair, just enough force to make her sit back.
Drena on the other hand is sitting with her head lowered down but anger is seen in her features.
Daniela laughed "Control your girls or else you will see them in the hospital." She said in between her laughter while walking towards a table with two girls following behind. They took the table from the students near us and sit there instead.
We ate in silence once again while the three girls near our table started talking.
"Hey! Have you heard that Carlo came yesterday to the Underground Arena?" #1 of Daniela's friends said.
Carlo... my brother... my right hand.
"Yeah, I heard it! I will go tonight. I might be lucky and see him there!" #2 said giggling.
It sounds like Carlo is more than a celebrity. Tch.
"Let's go tonight!" #1 beamed.
"You go girls, I already have my Xenon," Daniela stated.
Cassy bit her lip resisting the urge to laugh while Drena smirked. What's the fun in the statement?
"If Carlo will be there, the Silencer might be there too." #2 said with a smile.
"Tch, I don't care! What's with that Silencer? To the fact that I can be stronger than that monster." Daniela said annoyed.
Cassy and Drena suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. And I smirked.
"What the fuck, Stronger!" Drena said in between her laugh.
"She was just kidding Drena!" Cassy said still laughing.
I can feel Daniela and her friends coming towards us.
"What's funny?" Daniela asked anger is evident in her voice.
"You!" Cassy said trying her best to stop laughing. She's sitting beside me so Daniela is also close to me.
"What did you say!?" Daniela holds her collar making her stand up.
Drena quickly stands up from her seat while I take a sip of my juice.
"You're funny," Cassy stated, now wearing a serious face.
Daniela raised her hand aiming to slap Cassy's cheek and Drena moved to try to stop them. Well, it's a sort of slow-motion for me. Before her hand landed on Cassy's face I'm already holding her wrist.
It's fine for me if she just keeps talking, but I hate it when she tried hurting any of the two physically.
I breathed calming the monster inside me.
Daniela and the two girls behind her gasped, doze out for a moment while Drena was taken aback.
I took Daniela's other hand out of Cassy's collar and she just let go out of herself. I then freed both of Daniela's hands.
She laughed "Want to protect them hah." I smirked, she's mad. "Then, take what they should get." Her voice suddenly turned serious as she raised her hand in a fist giving me her full blow punch.
I heard gasps coming from students.
I lowered my head the moment I received her punch, "No! Don't hurt her!" Cassy shouted.
Daniela's two friends were already holding both of Cassy's arms. Drena is looking sideways, her hands clenched, trying to resist the urge to stop us. I smirked. Good girl.
I received another punch as I stepped back, Cassy was now crying, then another punch in my stomach, so I decided to fall but my back fall on a chair, so instead of lying I was in a sitting position.
"Drena! Please stop them! Stop them! Don't just stand there!" Cassy shouted with tears flowing down her cheeks. She's trying to get out of the girls' hold but Drena has her words and she already gave them to me.
"Why don't you fight back!? You coward!" Daniela kicked me and then another kick as she continuously kicking me harder but I just let her liking every hit.
Suddenly, the door burst open and a stern voice boomed around the restaurant. My fun is over.
"That's enough!" The voice was so stern but it goes softly in my ears as it flows down in my whole body...
What's happening to me??
It seems like everything stopped, everything really did stop. From the noise of the students to the plates, spoons, and even Daniela. All actions stopped. All I can hear are heartbeats.
I heard footsteps coming closer and Daniela moved aside. My head was still lowered, my eyes are blank wearing my emotionless state.
The foods around lessen the power of my smell... just as I felt a hand on my arm.
Suddenly... That scent! Everything seems like a slow motion.
I looked up to see the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. His smell is so enticing...
No! It's not right. I shouldn't be! I'm a monster created to kill. People feared me because I am... The Silencer.
The Heiress of Dark World.