"WHY are you so far away from me?"
I was about to turn off the lamp beside me when I heard Gideon.
I snapped my head at him. He was sitting on the right side of the bed, his back was resting on the headboard. I was here on the opposite side.
It was our first night here in his house after moving out of the hospital.
We were still alone in the house. Tomorrow, we will be joined by the physical therapy nurse that Amelia hired for Gideon.
Gideon cleared his throat as his eyes remained on me. "Haven't we slept in the same bed before?"
I wanted to laugh as I remembered everything he said in the mausoleum.
"We do. Sometimes. You were always out of town, Gideon."
It was true. He was always away for business. And I preferred it that way.
During the four months we were together, we only had sex five times. He was always in bad mood every time he demanded sex from me.
The last time we had sex, he was mad about losing an important business deal.
We'd shared the same bed but we never once tangled up together. Well, the king-size bed was too big for the both of us.
"I already told you, Gideon, there was no love between us." I looked at his blue eyes.
I felt like since he woke up, the color of his eyes turned a shade lighter. No. It wasn't just his eyes. Even his face. His aura.
He was wearing a white shirt and black sleeping pants.
"We hate each other that we seldom share the same bed, Gideon."
A frown appeared on his face. He looked around the room. Then his eyes drifted back to me.
"Can you move closer to me? Can we… cuddle while we sleep?"
My lips parted. "Are you serious?" I felt like a shiver ran down my spine just him mentioning the word 'cuddle.' Or maybe it was the gentleness in his voice.
I wanted to shut my eyes. I should always remind myself that I was dealing with a different Gideon right now.
"I told you, Bianca. I wanted this marriage to work."
I tried not to grit my teeth. "You'll fail, Gideon."
The corner of his lips tugged in a smirk. For a second, I felt like I was talking to the old Gideon. But still the subtle version.
"We can't cuddle, Gideon." I took a sharp breath.
"Why not?"
"I told you, we weren't chummy with each other. We're just civil. Every time we're alone, you avoid me like a plague."
I promised Amelia that I will take care of Gideon. But I didn't promise her that I'd be nice to his son all the damn time. I hated him… and that will never change. With or without his amnesia.
The frown on his face came back. "Haven't we had sex in our marriage?"
I opened and shut my mouth for a moment. "W-we had. A few times."
I suddenly remembered all the times we consummated our wedding. He had never been gentle with me.
"And you were always rough to me, Gideon." My voice was low and cold. I took a deep breath to control my dripping anger.
When I turned to him… I saw the more visible crease on his face. His lips parted in disbelief.
What? He couldn't believe that he had been a monster to me?
"Did I force myself on you?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You want the truth? Yes, Gideon."
I'm sorry, Amelia. No matter how much I try, I can't act nicely in front of your son.
"What about our first time? You said it was a one-night stand. Did I force you?"
"N-no. We were both drunk that time." Of course, I just made that up. That first time he was talking about didn't really happen.
Our real first time? It happened the night we got married.
"What are we doing here?" I asked, my voice hoarse from crying. He had brought me to a hotel near his office.
He smirked. "To consummate our wedding, what else?"
I swallowed as I watched him take off his coat and discarded it on the couch.
I shook my head as I took a step away from him.
"N-no. You can't do that."
I stopped when my back hit the wall. I could feel the loud beating of my heart against my chest. I felt like a poor mouse being cornered by its predator.
Gideon Henry flashed his evil smirk as he walked toward me. In three big steps, he was already in front of me, crowding me with his presence.
"You're my wife, Bianca," he said, holding my wrist and raising it just enough for me to see the wedding ring on my finger.
I gritted my teeth and held my chin to meet his eyes. "We're only married on paper, Mr. Henry."
"On paper?" He let out a dark chuckle. "We're legally married, Bianca."
The way he said my name sent a cold shiver down my spine. I shut my eyes when I felt his breath against my skin.
"That means… I have every right to you. You're my property now."
I felt his fingers on my face. "That means you have to fulfill your duty as my wife, Bianca."
"W-why are you doing this?" I asked, my voice trembling in fear, my eyes were red in unshed tears. "You don't even love me."
"I don't love you, but you're my wife now. I needed to claim you mine."
Before I could open my mouth to answer, he already cupped my face and claimed my lips in a savage kiss.
He forcefully entered his tongue into my mouth and tasted every corner of it.
"N-no. Stop." I tried to push him away but he was hard as a rock.
"Come on. Open your damn mouth," he growled, biting my lower lip that I almost groaned in pain.
There hadn't been any ounce of gentleness in the way he kissed me.
I wanted to fight him but I knew I couldn't win. Instead, I let him consume me.
I remained still while he attacked me with kisses. His kisses were cruel… hard and punishing.
It was different from the gentle and soft kisses Charlie used to give me.
My heart continued to shatter into pieces as I remembered Charlie. How I hurt him.
I'm so sorry Charlie. I'm sorry for being weak.
"Fuck!"
Suddenly, Gideon let go of me. His expression was dark as he looked at me. His lips were red as blood, his eyes dark like a storm.
"Fucking shut it with the tears, Bianca," he hissed. His jaw was hard and clenched.
I hadn't realized there were tears in my eyes. I shut my eyes at the same time Gideon Henry grabbed my pulse and threw me in the bed.
When I opened my eyes, he was already picking up his coat.
"Do not fucking try to leave this room, Bianca. You know what I can do if you're not here when I come back." He threatened before he stormed out of the room. Leaving me alone.
I closed my eyes as I let my tears fall.
"Let's not talk about the past, Gideon," I whispered, looking away from him. I clenched my fist under the sheets.
"You know what?" I heard him sigh. "The way you talked about me feels like I was a horrible husband in our marriage. Am I a horrible person, Bianca?"
I glanced at him. He looked… conflicted. Like he was disappointed with himself. He couldn't believe he was that kind of person, could he?
Horrible? You're a monster, Gideon.
"You're not kind, Gideon. Most people in the office called you cruel and ruthless. They feared you."
He slowly nodded before he bowed his head. Like everything I had said was a hard pill for him to swallow.
"Ugh." My eyes widened when he suddenly groaned while holding his head.
I immediately moved closer to him. "G-Gideon?"
"Just another passing headache, Bianca," he answered, looking up at me.
"Are you sure you don't want to call your doctor?"
He shook his head. "No. I'm okay." His blue eyes were directed at me. "I get it," he muttered, a shameful smile on his face. "I was a horrible person before I lost my memories. And I wanted to apologize for every wrong thing I've done to you in the past."
His eyes lingered on me. I wanted to look away. But he touched my wrist. His touch was different from before. It was gentle. As if he was afraid to hurt me.
"It's true when I say I wanted our marriage to work. Please, give me a chance, Bianca."
I pulled away from him. "Let's just talk about this after getting back your memory, Gideon."
"What if I won't remember anymore?"
I met his eyes, my face impassive. "Then after your rehabilitation."
Because then, I could finally file for a divorce and move on with my life.
Without waiting for his answer, I went back to the other side of the bed. I turned off the lamp and put a huge pillow between us.
"Good night, Gideon," I said before lying on the bed, my back turned against him.
I pulled the sheets and closed my eyes. Silence enveloped the room. Until I heard his voice.
"I can feel that you're not comfortable with me, Bianca." He said in a small voice.
I stilled, but didn't say anything.
"That you're scared, Bianca. I hadn't had any idea of the things I did in the past. But I wanted to make it up to you. And don't worry, I will never force myself into you again. I'll make sure that the next time we do it, you're already in love with me."
I silently grabbed the comforter in front of me. I didn't know why his words caused a shiver down my spine.