Chapter 137: Beware of the Light!!
Lumina at first did not understand his words, then when she realized what he meant, her face sank, she bit her lips, she felt aggrieved, she felt wronged, she felt hurt, so all those gazes all this time filled with pure desire for her were but a fake persona. A mask that he was hiding beneath, she uttered the only words she could think of, with a choked voice, “Why???”
A guilty expression appeared on his face, he said apologetically, “Because I needed to hide, I still do in fact.”
He stood up, standing right in front of Lumina, he placed his hands on both of her shoulders, she looked at him in teary eyes that screamed of a heartbreak, it pained him to see that, but again, he could not feel any sort of love for her. He hugged her gently and whispered in reassurance, “But I didn’t want to hide from you, my friend.”
She felt happy to hear the first phrase of his sentence, but the last two words made her heart sink back into despair. She asked, looking at him again, “Is there really no way? Am I really not good enough? Why? What do I need to do for you? tell me?”
She was almost begging him at this point, and seeing that, it pained him even more; he paused for a moment, he finally decided to tell her a fragment of the truth, “Just listen to me….for a moment.”
She barely stopped her tears and began to listen, “Ever since I was a kid, I was in love with a certain girl, I loved her so much that I would give my life away for her in a heartbeat, for her, I would do anything and everything. I loved her so, so much, maybe more than anything in this world.”
“But she never loved me, actually, I could never tell her about it, show any signs of it, because I knew I would most likely never be accepted, I was only her friend after all. I would rather remain by her side as a friend than force my feelings on her. Maybe, one day, there would be an opportunity for me, a chance for me to have her, I hoped desperately.”
“But alas! she was no longer in this world, we were separated before I ever got the chance, even though something like that happened, my feelings never went away. It remained, maybe even became stronger.”
“The reason I only looked at you in longing is because I thought, since you are far more beautiful than her. In every way. Maybe, just maybe, I could get over her slowly but surely, but alas! Back when you stated that you appreciated my appearance. I wanted to take a chance, but as expected, I found myself unable to do it. It felt wrong, as my love for her remained stronger than ever. But I pushed those thoughts aside and rejected you in the softest way possible, but underneath, hoping you would try and progress our relationship further.”
“Yes, I know, I used you, I did, for my personal agenda, but I couldn’t keep lying to you anymore, I just couldn’t do so. I’m sorry.”
It was Axel this time who seemed more broken than anyone else; she could see the immense pain in his eyes, far greater, deeper, and darker than her own, as if countless chains of obsession were bound on every part of his body, dragging him to the dark abyss. Her own feelings of disappointment and heartache vanished into thin air upon hearing those things. She looked at Axel with pity, hugging him back and putting her hand on the back of his head, comforting him in return this time.
Axel also hugged her tightly, he didn’t expect to let out all those grievances to her. I guess in reality, he really wanted to share his pain with someone, just to be comforted. To be understood, to be acknowledged. After a while, he stopped hugging her as they both separated. Axel actually felt somewhat better, as if his burdens had been eased, albeit barely.
Lumina cracked a few more jokes to lighten the strange atmosphere between them. Axel also heaved a sigh of relief, seeing how Lumina’s mood seemed to have improved, bidding farewell for that day, they went away.
Lying on his bed, he sighed in exasperation, ‘How complicated. Everything was just so complicated.’
What he told, in way it was indeed the truth. The way he worded things, she would think that the one he had loved may have died from some unfortunate incident, but she could never guess that it was just the opposite; it was he who had died, and she indeed did not exist in this world.
As for revealing the full truth, that was out of the question obviously, in fact he never intended to say all that much to her, this could eventually bite him back one day, if Lucien ever decided to dig up his past information, he would find that the original ‘Axel Nomrad’ never had a childhood sweetheart like that who he always loved. There was no such person who would make him the biggest liar in front of Lumina, as her trust in him may be entirely broken.
He tried to sleep but was unable to do so, gritting his teeth, he sat up and decided to enter his secondary aspect chamber. He wanted to get this over with; he had accepted his own truth, discarding his masks, which hid his own fears and trauma.
He entered and saw the same Demon Phantom of his, staring at the river of blood just like last time. Sin looked back at him neutrally, there was no emotion on its monstrous face. It walked towards him in calm steps, and Axel did not move from his place; he remained standing, for some unknown reason, out of his own will. Something told him that he might not need to fight it today. Sin placed its hand on Axel’s shoulder without putting any strength behind it.
It said while looking afar, a trace of gratitude escaping from its hideous voice, something only he could understand, “Thank you, for accepting the truth and freeing me. Sadly, you yourself will never be free of the obsession, no, you might. Maybe, at the end of your journey.”
“Again, thank you for freeing me, and remember these words, Tyler, remember them no matter what.”
“Be aware of the treacherous light,” as the last words of it escaped from the demon phantom’s mouth, its figure disappeared into a mass of black smoke, Axel was hurled back into consciousness the very next moment, forcefully being kicked out of his sanctum. His eyes shot wide open, and for the first time, there was no blood coming out of his face or mouth, but a massive amount of information invaded his mind, and a low curse escaped from his mouth. He really hated how unpleasant it felt every time, like someone was intentionally squeezing his brain matter, wishing to squash it into a meat paste or something.
When he finally came to his senses, he drank a few potions to ease the burden of his mind. A bunch of texts flashed through his eyes, notifications delivered to him by Prime Nexus.
50 GT 1 Extra CH 200 PS 1 Extra CH Magic Castle 4 Extra CH