Because of Hui Ming, Su Jin felt like he was floating in the clouds. This light and airy feeling lasted for a whole day.
It wasn't until the sun set and the moon rose, reaching the anniversary of Empress Qi Sheng's death, that he finally felt grounded again. He had been waiting outside Qianqing Palace since early morning, following behind the Emperor. As he stood in front of the Yongshou Palace, his heart sank, and the unrealistic feeling from before completely disappeared.
In truth, he should say that ever since the master of Yongshou Palace passed away, he had never felt at ease coming to this place.
When the late Empress had just passed, he was not even eight years old. He was unaware of many things and only felt sadness for the passing of his aunt. It wasn't until the Su family collapsed overnight, and his grandfather held him, then ten years old, in his arms in the prison cell, that he slowly began to understand. His grandfather told him the true weight of his aunt's death, a weight he had never considered before: "Since Empress Qi Sheng's passing, the blue sky above our Su family, including His Highness the Crown Prince, has already collapsed by half."
Su Jin still remembered that at that time, he was naive and ignorant. Although he was imprisoned, his mother and elders comforted him, saying it was just slander by villains. They said that His Majesty was wise and once the truth was revealed, the Su family would be cleared of all charges. He truly believed them. After hearing his grandfather's words, he even thought since his parents were like the sky, even though the Crown Prince had lost his mother, His Majesty was still there, so half of the blue sky remained.
But after he asked this question, his aged grandfather merely smiled and patted his head as if he had heard some childish nonsense. His voice was filled with sorrow and a sigh: "His Majesty is not the remaining half of the sky. Your grandfather initially thought that perhaps without the Empress, His Majesty would lower his head and support His Highness. However, your grandfather forgot, His Majesty is too proud. Not only would he not lower his head, he wouldn't even bend his neck. Now it seems, he is truly going to live up to the saying 'too rigid to bend, too hard to last'…"
His words became prophecy.
Looking at the Emperor's slightly hunched figure before him, Su Jin's mouth held a trace of mockery. Thinking back, what he said was indeed foolish. Not only was the Emperor not the remaining half of the sky, but he also did not support the Crown Prince when the sky collapsed. Instead, he was the one who personally broke the Crown Prince's spine and sent him into the endless darkness.
Today, outside Yongshou Palace, the Emperor seemed to have recalled something. He appeared apprehensive, his face revealing a trace of melancholy. After he stepped out of the imperial carriage, he hesitated slightly in front of the Yongshou Palace plaque.
Su Jin, however, had a cold gaze. As usual, he stood outside the door, straightening his clothes and standing tall. He refused to show even the slightest hint of subservience.
Although the late Empress had already passed away, although he was now reduced to a mere palace servant, he still wanted to believe that the Empress was watching from above. If his aunt could see him, she would definitely not want to see her most beloved junior looking defeated and lowly before her.
"Father Emperor." The Emperor stood there for too long. Prince Xin, who had been in charge of the Empress Dowager and the late Empress's affairs for the past month, stepped forward and supported the Emperor's arm, calling out with concern.
As if awakened by this call, the Emperor paused, then slowly entered the palace with Prince Xin's support.
Prince Rui, who was a step behind, watched with an unmoved expression. When he saw Su Jin, he even raised an eyebrow slightly, revealing a knowing smile.
Su Jin understood the reason behind it. Seeing this, he only nodded slightly. However, his ears seemed to echo with his grandfather's weary voice from that day: "Prince Xin, Prince Rui, both are cut from the same cloth. The situation our Su family faces today is the result of their joint efforts. However, between the two, Prince Rui is more cunning. Look, everyone in the palace and court now only knows Prince Rui as a crude man. But the matter of overthrowing the Crown Prince was clearly done by both of them. Yet, he can now extract himself cleanly, as if it had nothing to do with him. Such a person, you must keep your distance from him in the future, and remember the lesson of our Su family. Your own safety is paramount!"
His grandfather's words were indeed correct. Prince Xin and the current Empress were almost following the same path as the Crown Prince. The way the Emperor was wary of the Crown Prince and favored Prince Xin and his mother, he was now wary of the current Empress and Prince Xin.
Moreover, Prince Xin was not even comparable to the Crown Prince. After all, the current Empress did not have the deep affection that the late Empress shared with the Emperor as his first wife and childhood sweetheart. Prince Xin was even less loved and favored than the Crown Prince had been in his youth.
Even the Crown Prince, who had enjoyed the Emperor's affection since childhood, decades of accumulated love, could not withstand the Emperor's suspicion. What more could be said for Prince Xin?
But Prince Rui was different. In the current situation, if Prince Xin fell, only Prince Rui would be left standing clean on the shore. And behind him, there would be no other princes!
But it didn't matter. Prince Xin couldn't compete with Prince Rui's scheming, but the Emperor could. As long as the Emperor lived for a few more years, until Prince Xin completely followed in the footsteps of the Crown Prince, he would risk his life to advise the Emperor and expose Prince Rui's wolfish ambition.
Having served by the Emperor's side for so many years, no one understood the Emperor's temperament better than Su Jin. As long as the Emperor still had a breath left, he would never allow anyone to touch his throne.
Not his personally raised Crown Prince, not Prince Xin, and definitely not the deeply cunning Prince Rui.
Su Jin took a step back, his eyes growing darker as he watched Prince Rui's retreating figure. Prince Xin deserved to die, but how could he sit back and watch as Prince Rui, also a murderer, stepped on the corpses of his Su family and the Crown Prince to ascend to the throne?
The Empress and Prince Rui both thought that the benefit of restoring the Duke of Zhen's Mansion after ascending the throne was enough to make him honestly and loyally submit. But they didn't know that, as things stood, he no longer cared about the Duke of Zhen's reputation, nor did he care about his own life. All he wanted was for Prince Xin, Prince Rui, and even the current Emperor to taste the suffering that his Su family had endured.
His grandfather had taught him everything in detail, and he had listened to everything, except for the part about "self-preservation." He had chosen to disobey.
"Jin'er, entering the palace as a servant is indeed a difficult path, but as long as you endure it, there will be an end."
"Remember carefully, if His Highness the Crown Prince has a chance to rise again in the future, as long as you can wait for that day, he will naturally look after you. If His Highness…" Grandfather probably didn't hold much hope for this possibility. He said, "If the Crown Prince doesn't rise again and his life is cut short, given the Emperor's temperament, although he is now wary of the Crown Prince, when the Crown Prince is truly gone, he will probably feel remorse."
"At that time! You must find an opportunity to see the Emperor! You must be pitiful, but not hateful. You must be well-behaved and obedient, so that the Emperor remembers his old feelings. Only then will you have a future!"
His grandfather's plan was indeed flawless. Su Jin had followed his instructions step by step to reach this point. But his grandfather only pointed out the way forward, only said it would be difficult, but did not tell him that the word "difficult" would be so unbearable, so arduous, so arduous that he almost fell several times and could not go on.
But he couldn't give up. It was as if his grandfather knew that he might be disheartened after suffering such humiliation and torture. On the last night before his execution, not only did he tell him the way forward word by word, but he also entrusted him with the last responsibility of the Su family.
"Among the brothers who entered the palace as servants, you are the eldest. After entering the palace, Lang'er and Zhuo'er will need your care. There are also the female relatives in the jiaofang outside. In the future, when you reach the time your grandfather told you about, if any of them are still alive, you must go and bring them back."
"You have been able to read since childhood, but you cannot believe all those pedantic principles. Public opinion can melt metal and destroy bones. No matter what others say, you must remember that they are also of the Su family bloodline, they are your relatives. You are a man, the eldest grandson, you have to hold up a sky for them. Their children, no matter their origins, are all descendants of our Su family."
But he couldn't do it. Thinking of this, Su Jin's heart sank even further. He had failed his grandfather's instructions. He couldn't protect his two younger cousins. Seven-year-old Lang'er didn't survive entering the palace, and Zhuo'er, who had been weak since childhood, only suffered a few more years of torture and didn't live to see this day.
As for the girls who were sent to the jiaofang… His grandfather might not care about their reputation, and he himself might not care either, but those girls who had been raised delicately in the inner chambers could not bear such humiliation. On the first day Su Jin climbed to the Emperor's side, he immediately inquired about them. But even the one who lived the longest had already passed away three months ago.
As things stood, he was already alone, with no more attachments. He didn't need to take care of his younger brothers or bring back his female relatives. He was just a lone ghost. After taking his revenge, he would also go down to the underworld.
Su Jin slowly closed his eyes, knelt in the corner, and bowed with the crowd amidst the swirling incense smoke. When he stood up, his eyes happened to fall upon the peace amulet hanging at his waist.
Before Hui Ming, he had always thought this way. But at this moment, looking at the peace amulet, a crack unexpectedly appeared in his heart, which had been as cold as ice.
Su Jin's lips trembled slightly, but the current situation did not allow him to think too much—
The Emperor at the altar had just placed the personally written eulogy into the brazier. Prince Xin, the assistant officiant, stepped forward to offer incense. Just as the three lit incense sticks were inserted into the incense burner, before Prince Xin could even let go, the portrait of the late Empress, personally painted by the Crown Prince and hanging on the wall, fell with a crash.
The wooden shaft of the scroll hit the sandalwood altar, making a dull thud.
In the sudden silence, Su Jin, who had been prepared for this, immediately stepped forward and said calmly, "Su Jin is incompetent in his duties, please punish Your Majesty."