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After a few hours, the alarm bells finally quieted. Jonathan thanked his good fortune that no one had forcefully burst through Queen Yianna's door. There had been a few knocks but the guards had assumed their queen was sleeping. To be fair, they were right. Jonathan had some time to kill while he wanted for sleeping beauty to awaken so he searched the room. There was a lot of expensive junk but nothing useful. There was nothing that would be suitable as a weapon, no swords, no knives, not even anything sharp. The only clothing available was women's dresses and royal regalia, Jonathan didn't think he could pull that off so disguising himself was off the table. Jonathan really needed to get his equipment back, he missed his big cloak and shiny magic spear.
"What happened?" Yianna awoke, pulling herself off of the floor.
"I banged you into unconsciousness." Jonathan sighed.
"That's never happened before. It was intense." Yianna rubbed her eyes as she crawled over to her wardrobe.
"I wish I could say the same. Unfortunately, along with my touch causing people to go coo-coo-horny, my cum tends to make people who come in contact with it pass out."
"What a bizarre magic."
"You're telling me. I should have chosen something a bit more manageable."
"Picked something? Do sorcerer's have control over what power manifests within them? I was under the impression it was innate." Yianna clothed herself in a flowing blue and gold dress that looked easy to move in.
"Well, its complicated." Jonathan decided not to go into further, he had bigger things to focus on. "Anyway, how are we going to get out of this place?"
"I was hoping you had a plan."
"You don't? There isn't some sort of secret royal escape tunnel or something?" Jonathan had really hoped Yianna would be more useful that this.
"If I knew of a secret royal escape tunnel, don't you think I would have used it by now?" Yianna had a point.
"No, I mean we are in a lot of trouble."
"Another expression from across the Burning Seas?"
"Sure. Why not." Jonathan started to pace back and forth. 'Think damn it, think.' How was he going to get out of here? He clicked his fingers. "Where does the Resistance keep the stuff they take from prisoners?"
"Probably in the armoury."
"Do you know how to get there?" Jonathan's plan was starting to come together.
"Yes. It is just around the corner from here. But it is often watched by two guards."
"That's not going to matter." Jonathan ripped down a purple drape that hung over the bed and wrapped it around him, being careful to cover his face. "How do I look."
"Ridiculous. You look like one of my husband's concubines." Yianna looked Jonathan up and down. "Not a particularly attractive concubine either."
"Perfect! Now lead the way to the armoury. If anyone asks, I'm just a concubine." This was not one of Jonathan's most elegant plans but it would have to do. Jonathan explained the rest of the plan to Yianna.
"That just might work." Yianna nodded.
There were a lot fewer guards than Jonathan had expected, perhaps they were exploring the outskirts of the compound. Jonathan and Yianna reached the armoury unmolested. They approached the two guards standing outside of metal armoury door. Jonathan hoped the next part of his plan would go as well as the last.
"I need you to open the armoury." Yianna commanded one of the guards.
"What for Your Majesty?" The guard asked.
"My husband has left his favourite whip inside and his concubine has been an extremely naughty girl." Yianna repeated the words Jonathan had told her to say.
"Are you question your queen!?" Yianna raised her voice at the guard.
"No of course not. Right away." The guard fumbled for his keys before finding the correct one and unlocking the armoury door.
"Eeeee!" Jonathan yelled out in the highest pitched staccato he could manage. "Escaped sorcerer!" Jonathan pointed down a distant corridor. "I just saw him, I just saw him."
The guards looked at each other puzzled.
"Well, what are you waiting for. After him!" Yianna commanded.
"Right!" the two guards raced down the corridor that Jonathan had pointed down. As they turned the corner Jonathan and Yianna slipped into the armoury and locked the door behind them with the key that the guard had most graciously left in the door for them. ɴᴇᴡ ɴᴏᴠᴇʟ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ᴘᴜʙʟɪsʜᴇᴅ ᴏɴ 𝙣𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙡•𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚⚫𝙣𝙚𝙩
"I can't believe that worked." Jonathan said stunned.
"What do you mean you can't believe it? It was your plan." Yianna said incredulously.
"Yeah, didn't mean I thought it would work." Jonathan laughed as Yianna looked at him jaw agape. The armoury was small but packed full of items. Weapons, armour, oh hey, there actually was a whip in here. It didn't take long for Jonathan to find recover his cloak and the Spear of Narcese. "You should probably take a weapon or two." Jonathan said to Yianna as he stuffed a few daggers into his belt.
"Fine but fighting is well below my station."
'So is fucking prisoners I would imagine, but you already crossed that bridge.' Jonathan thought to himself as he studied the ceiling.
Yianna grabbed a bow, a quiver of arrows, and short sword from the armoury's racks. "Be glad that my husband taught me how to use these."
"Oh thank god there is ink here." Jonathan picked up a vial of red-tinged ink and started scrawling words on a training mannequin that was standing wonkily against the wall.
"What does "Now I have a machine gun ho-ho-ho" mean?" Yianna read the words that Jonathan had written on the mannequin.
"A great hero of our people once said it." Jonathan smirked. "A hero called John McClane."
"Our people have some very strange sayings."
"We sure do, now let's get you lifted up into that air vent on the roof."