"I'm sorry, I failed."
After these words fell, the bathroom was suddenly plunged into silence for a moment. The only sound was the almost imperceptible humming of the electrical current in the light bulb, so faint that one might think it was their imagination.
Shoreis bowed his head over the edge of the bathtub, silent for several seconds. Compared to a few weeks ago, he had become even more emaciated; his skin under his dark hair was pale and thin, almost paper-like. His neck bones were slightly protruding, disappearing into the collar of his black T-shirt.
Qiao Yuansi did not reach out to touch him, but just one glance seemed as if her fingertips had already touched his hard bones, making her unconsciously curl her fingers.
"Every step of my plan has been executed, though at a cost greater than I imagined."
Shoreis' speech remained clear, only his thoughts becoming a little scattered, perhaps due to the infection or the injury. It seemed that he did not intend to make himself understood; he just wanted to speak, so his words followed wherever his thoughts drifted.
"My time is borrowed, and I don't know when I must return it," he continued, his head still bowed. A large man, he now seemed almost childlike, waiting for someone to open their arms to him. "I don't care about my life. A drama that should have ended but drags on, with content that lacks excitement. It's a good thing that it's finally reaching its conclusion."
What was he talking about? Qiao Yuansi suddenly felt inexplicably irritated.
"I never thought that the path I took at such a price would be a dead end," he said, chuckling in self-mockery. "Do you know what the essence of the apocalyptic world is? It's an endless mockery. Whether you live or die, strive or plot, win or lose, you know that somewhere far away, laughter is always waiting to rise at any opportunity."
His voice quivered slightly, in a tone that Qiao Yuansi had never heard before. She looked at Shoreis' hand hanging in the bathtub, as white as porcelain, lacking any hint of blood color, veins faintly protruding, showing such desperate futility.
"The person has been found and the object obtained, only to discover that what I exchanged my life for, I cannot use," he mumbled, as if drunk. "No, to be precise, I can use it, but a slight discrepancy makes it meaningless. It won't achieve my goal, save this world, or save you."
So, after being seriously injured, he had still struggled all the way back—back for what?
Was it to see her?
This answer was something Qiao Yuansi could not understand, yet it was the only conclusion she could reach. Her hunger having retreated, she mustered enough strength to ask, "Why are you so obsessed with saving me?"
Neither she nor the world needed saving, so she didn't take Shoreis' failure to heart, but this question had tormented her for weeks, and now she asked without thinking.
When Shoreis moved slightly, lifting his head, it seemed as though the very air in the bathroom stirred, tinged with layers of crimson. Resting on his arm, he looked at her for a while before sighing and saying, "It took me five months, but I finally understood something."
"What?" Qiao Yuansi couldn't help but ask.
"Absence is presence. Moreover, there's no existence more powerful, more persistent than absence."
Shoreis suddenly smiled, his eyes and the corners of his mouth softening together, as if he had forgotten that he once said that the current Qiao Yuansi in front of him was not the same person as the Qiao Yuansi of the past. He said softly, "You felt the same way back then, didn't you?"
Qiao Yuansi was about to say, "I don't understand" but suddenly stopped herself. Although the words were rather inexplicable, she found that she actually understood, actually knew what he meant.
"There is a room that always maintains the same constancy, regardless of the rotation of dawn and dusk, or the changes of the seasons," Shoreis muttered, closing his eyes. "All it takes is for one person to walk in, and then walk out, no matter how briefly, and then it is no longer a room. It becomes an empty room."
Yes.
That's how it is.
When sunlight shines through the curtains, shifting across the floor with the passage of time, and finally vanishes into darkness, what remains is a window without sunlight, not a window filled with the darkness of night.
Warm, smooth, solid skin touches a large area for a moment, then suddenly separates; afterward, it's just empty skin, trembling slightly as it adheres to the cold wall of the bathtub.
After an absence, it will never return to its original state; the time after absence turns into waiting.
These thoughts... seemed to have settled in Qiao Yuansi's memory at some unknown time, and she recalls them now. The chaos and subtle details make her feel like she's recalling a disordered dream.
Beyond the vague and indescribable emotions, she was also surprised to find that despite the distance and time between them, they had both developed similar feelings.
However, what did this have to do with her question? Qiao Yuansi still couldn't understand.
She had been waiting for Shoreis to answer with something like "Because I fell in love with you," or "I think you should live in this way, so I came to decide for you" — those were things she could understand now, and she could even determine her next actions based on such an answer.
But now, Qiao Yuansi didn't know what to say.
"So... what did you mean when you said that the person was found, and what was found?" she asked, unable to grasp the ethereal things, focusing instead on tangible points, "You said you got something; what did you get?"
Shoreis' gaze slowly slid across her face, as if in place of a finger. Under his gaze, Qiao Yuansi suddenly felt an odd sensation, but she couldn't describe it.
"I settled in a small town called Jide," Shoreis said, beginning another story from seemingly nowhere. "By chance, I saw some local old newspapers and magazines. Fortunately, information in this world is printed on physical objects, preserving them... allowing me to see."
Qiao Yuansi didn't feel impatient this time, nor was she thinking about how to climb out of the bathtub to find food; she just listened quietly.
"A year ago, a rumor began to circulate among the locals that people were gradually turning into facially deformed monsters, hiding and living in the small town in normal human guise. The rumor grew more and more intense... then gradually died down a half a year ago, as if it never happened at all."
In a room filled with the stench of blood, Shoreis slightly tilted his head, looking at her as if he was not injured, saying, "I searched, but I never found any earlier records. Do you understand its significance?"
Qiao Yuansi stared at him blankly.
"I inadvertently found the location of patient zero."