It was a normal day for Sarah Albert.
She took a minimal rest for the injuries she sustained in the Solar Trial. The potions worked their wonders, but some natural rest was advised to not leave behind any hidden injuries.
Sarah took it very seriously. She wanted a future where she could break the limits of Dual Awakeners and hit the Sovereign state.
Then…
Sarah looked at the rather messy room with a complicated expression. He really made himself home.
There were various articles belonging to the Sovereigns. Hologram posters about the Abyss Invasion and so on.
It was messy, but it was his.
…It was Varian's room.
In the world which lost all colors dimmed, glimpses of their memories were like the sparkles of colors.
"Haa!" Sarah felt a suffocating weight on her chest. It wasn't new though. Since that day, she found everything difficult.
Everything was too heavy. Too hard. Too laborious.
It was as if she was carrying the weight of their two lives on her shoulders.
Sarah was about to return to the practice room right after her rest. It was what she did for the past few days.
"Sarah."
Her body stiffened and she rushed towards the source of the voice.
She broke into living room and looked around with red eyes. It was as if she was trying to breathe in water.
She searched the empty house in an attempt to find the source of that voice.
The sleek white floors, the bright walls filled with expensive yet elegant holo-pictures, and the empty hallways.
With each passing second, her hope shrunk and desperation grew.
"No…no…" Sarah muttered, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Sarah."
His familiar voice called again, and even though she knew it was likely her hallucination, Sarah ran towards the sound source.
Her garden—filled with vibrant flowers and precious plants. It exuded a sweet smell that would've usually calmed the mind.
Sarah would breathe in the fresh air and enjoy it every time. Not now.
To her, this garden…it was just empty.
It evoked a distant memory of him.
When they went on a mission to Virgin Dungeon, everyone was panicking about going to the main hide out.
Olivia, Ivy, Lucas and Crimson…the members of Siarah team had thoughts of backing off.
It was a tense moment. They were about to risk their lives.
And Varian…
Varian was plucking flower petals.
It was the first time he made an impression on her.
His composure, his level-headedness, she appreciated them. At that time, she thought he might achieve something in his life.
He already did.
He did things most people could never even dream of doing.
"Dream…." Sarah's eyes suddenly narrowed. "Dreamer?" Her eyes glowed for a moment before they dimmed again.
"If he did survive, he would've contacted me…" Sarah said with a wry smile.
"Sarah…you need to stop hoping. It's over. Try to live your best for him. Make him proud." She said to herself and walked back into the house.
Anna was called for an emergency mission despite her objections and she rejected every other 'maid' sent by her father.
She just wanted to be alone.
"Anna…Varian…" Sarah paused on her way to practice room and looked at the dining room.
The memories of their first home meal surfaced in her mind.
"He really loved her cooking…I wanted to do something for him."
Sarah's body stiffened and she walked into the kitchen. She took out a few ingredients from the storage and chopped away the ingredients with precision.
"I wanted to do something for you…" She said softly recalling how she practiced cooking and blew it up most of the time.
She couldn't handle the awakened magic beasts, so the best she could do was unawakened, level 0 monsters.
But even then,
Saaa!
Sarah added the spices to the meat, put on the lid and bit her lip. "My cooking is still horrible, but I wished…"
She choked in the middle, as if there was a lump in her throat.
"Do you remember, Varian? You cried on the first day? I still remember the pain I felt…watching you break into tears tore me apart.
I…I didn't know how I hurt you or if it was really me who hurt you. It was the only time I saw you crying.
Whenever I see others seeing your strength, the moments you shone…I recall that day you cried.
They don't know how much pain you're hiding in your heart. They don't know your fights. They don't know Varian who was oppressed. They didn't know Varian who struggled right from the first day.
They only see your glory.
And I…I just want to share your pain." Sarah said under her breath.
"And if possible, make you happy, even if it's just a bit." She forcibly tired to smile and failed.
"…since you like Anna's cooking, and it makes you smile everytime, I thought 'I want to make you smile too'." Sarah manipulated the aura in the cooking bowl and tried to distribute it along with the concentration of the spices.
"I thought I could make you smile too. So, I tried to learn. I tried. I really tried." Sarah lowered her head and clenched her fists. Her nails dug into her palms, but she felt nothing.
Breathing shortly, she added the final batch of seasoning and said. "I…I thought I had time to learn it slowly.
I wanted to surprise you on your birthday…as my gift."
Sarah closed her eyes in pain. "I don't who am I cooking for anymore. Maybe it's in your memory…"
Pap!
The cooking bowl burst into two and Sarah stopped.
She looked at the burnt ingredients and muttered. "I failed again…I guess that's it…I'm just not good enough. It's my fault."
Sarah ordered the bot to clean up and looked at the kitchen for one last time.
"I'll just practice."
"Sarah" His voice called out from behind.
"Not again…I can't take the disappointment." Sarah shook her head and sighed. She didn't dare to turn around. If she did and found nothing...the pain would be too much to bear.
"Sarah." No. He never called her in this tone. It must be an illusion again! But why...? Why am I crying...?
"E..Even if you call me like that, I..I-I'm not f-falling for it." Her voice betrayed her words as tears wetted the side of her cheeks.
"Sarah." He called out again. This time, his voice was lonely...just like how she was feeling.
"P-please.." Sarah's tears rolled down as she turned around. "I don't want anymore pain...haa!"
Sarah forgot to speak and even breath as she found herself in his embrace.
"Sarah…"
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