Once he stepped into the real world, without restrictions on his power, Varian froze for a moment. Like a dam that had burst, his senses exploded outward. They were like raging tides, eager to conquer the next inch of land.
At this sudden change, his aura too burst out. For a moment, the entire alliance felt as if an invisible hand appeared above them, ready to smash them into pieces. The provinces scrambled to their homes, the duchies tried to pray and the kingdoms despaired.
It reminded them of that great split just fifty years ago. They couldn't stop it then. They couldn't stop it now. Mortals had no say in the affairs of gods.
As the alliance prepared itself for another calamity, the aura vanished.
Varian cursed to himself and completely withdrew his power. If he really showed his presence, then God Emperor might hunt him down. For all his achievements, facing that man was still beyond Varian's reach.
'From the trace just now, he might already be searching for me, fuck.'
The power of slivers emerged, erasing the traces of his aura and signs of his life. (Wohoo! Var, you're so brave usually and now you're so cautious. The contrast is amazing! I really, really, really love it!)
He ignored the ramblings of the crazy sliver. If she had her humanoid form, Varian knew she'd be drooling while saying those words.
Thank the stars she didn't. (Var, can you smile a little? A smirk please! It's really amazing!)
[Ahem, ahem!]
(!@$#$)
[%&$*]
Their voices fluctuated as they exchanged words in another language, one Varian couldn't understand but vaguely felt was similar to the one used in God's Eye. Was it an ancient language? If the slivers themselves were using it, perhaps it was the language of Primordial Gods.
Shaking his head, Varian locked onto Hortus. His paranoia died down. It's been fifty years, the God Emperor probably wasn't looking for him anymore. Even if he was, at least he won't hunt him from the aura fluctuation in that brief moment. 'Maybe?'
Varian held his breath and made a pathway to Hortus. 'I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I'm not!' He was scared. Of not just God Emperor who toyed with the rulers in front of his very eyes. But also of that being he didn't know. The ones whose eyes he saw in the memories of the dead god. And if he wasn't wrong, the being who he glimpsed at in Paradise.
'I will die soon.' Varian didn't want to believe it but he couldn't deny the feeling that came from the depth of his soul. 'I will die.' He didn't know how. But he knew why. If he didn't die to the God Emperor who was powerful beyond measure, then he'd die to that unknown being.
He had seen things he shouldn't have seen. Even though those eyes just glimpsed at him across billions of years, he was nearly crippled.
Would such a being leave him alive?
'I will die…I don't want to die!'
Without even bothering to check out the situation outside, he jumped back into his world.
The familar scent of flowers hit his nose and his feet sank into the soft mud through the dewy grass.
Taking a deep breath, Varian took in the sensation of his home. The tension accumulated over the decades slowly left him.
'Why haven't they come yet?'
He realized it quickly. As a rank 2, his stealth was more than just good. Other rank 2s couldn't pull it off as Hortus blocked such attempts. But as the owner of Hortus and a rank 2, his presence slipped away from the perception of all his wives.
'I will di…I don't want to die.' Varian suppressed his instincts and exhaled deeply. He had to move his mind away from that event, though it seemed impossible as the image of those eyes was deeply imprinted into his soul like a stump left by searing iron.
For every breath he took, that mark burned his soul. Every time he closed his eyes, those eyes appeared in the darkness.
Slapping himself lightly, Varian tapped his foot on the ground and the world shifted. From the mountain under his foot all the way to the horizon, everything was painted white in snow.
The glaciers melted in the far east, birthing icy rivers that flowed westward, the water glittering under the sunlight.
The orange hues shone on the snow, his shadow the only darkness in the world of gentle orange.
Sarah sat on top of the mountain. Beams of sunlight condensed into her palms and was moulded into a small bird as she meticulously moved her hands, like a potter working his clay.
As the breath of life was infused into the light, the bird chirped. But light, the component that made up its shook, about to scatter. Light would always scatter.
Sarah tapped onto the bird and the flow of time around the light slowed down to a great degree.
The sunlight bird chirped around her in joy before flying away. "Live your life well." Sarah waved with a smile. "Why is our cold goddess smiling so sweetly?" A mischievious voice rang in her ear and a pair of familiar arms wrapped around her waist.
Sarah trembled for a moment before she leaned against his back, elbowing him with enough strength.
"Ouch!" "I was stupid falling for you, who would leave such a beautiful wife behind and go running around the galaxies?"
"Beautiful?" Varian rested his head on her shoulder and looked at her gorgeous face. "You are not beautiful." Sarah kept her gaze on the setting sun but her brow raised. "Huh."
"The word isn't enough description." Varian said with a serious expression. "How about we build a new word? Soul reaping prettiness?"
Sarah finally turned to him, eyes rolling. "I'm telling you again, don't you dare name our children!"
Varian opened his mouth with a wronged expression. "B-But I'm really good with those things! In the jai empire, I even had a new title! Hand'sum! Everyone was calling me Hand'sum!"
Sarah shook her head with an exasperated sigh. "Don't even teach them words, we'll do it ourselves."
Varian looked at her reluctantly but Sarah seemed adamant.
"Children, huh." He said with a wistful smile.
Sarah noticed the change in his mood. With a light kiss on his forehead, she rubbed his hair. "Don't worry, everything will be alright."
Varian had a helpless smile on his face. What he experienced told him that nothing would be alright.
But still. If he could, he really wanted to cling onto a hope. Even if it's false, he just wanted an assurance.
"Really?" He asked in a weak voice.
"Yes." Sarah turned around and rested his head on her chest. Hugging him gently, she whispered. "Everything will be alright."
Varian hugged her tight, wishing to let out his fears. Why was it that despite everything he had done, he's so scared now?
Was it death? No.
It wasn't death that frightened him the most. It was life.
The lives that his absence would shatter.
Sarah would stop smiling.
Enigma would stop joking.
Isadora would stop hoping.
Sia would stop living.
There would be no one Boo could go to tell its grieviences, no one to cajole it and no one to tell the little ghost that it's handsome.
There would be no one Oob would ask to help for decoding the ancient text using the slivers. No one to tell the little thing that its presence matters.
Aurora would lose her brother-in-law, Primula would lose her brother. Both would lose the brightness from their faces.
A single death would shatter this weird but happy family.
If he dies…
"I will not die." Varian hugged Sarah tight, startling her.
"Var?"
"Sarah, I will not die." Varian rubbed her silky hair and vowed to himself, to his family and to the world. "I will not die."