Dalia jerked up from the loud bang that frightened her. She looked around, her hand on her heart to stable the organ as it hammered almost painfully against her chest. “Do you know what time it is? What are you waiting for that you haven't made breakfast when you know I have to go to work today. You think you’ll have peace of mind in this house after what you have done to me? You better get up now before you face my wrath.”
There was a silent thump in her chest as she stared up at him. He marched out of the room afterwards and left her there looking at the door he bang close. She heaved a sigh and shook her head as she gave herself a pep talk. She let her legs down and rested her elbows on her knees, palms on her face. She stayed at the same position before she rise to her feet and entered her bathroom to freshen up.
She hurriedly sauntered to the kitchen, thinking of the fastest thing she could cook for him. She opened the pantry, scanning through it. She heaved a sigh; and she knew asking him might cause more hassle for her. She shrugged her shoulders before reaching her hand to pick up the fettuccine pasta. She brought out all the ingredient she needed before closing it.
Within short period of time, she was done cooking. In hurry, she arranged everything on the dining table before sauntering out to the living room. She met him seated in the living room, answering a call. Her eyes flickered as her heart thumped at his appearance. He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expression of his voice. He was handsome from his generous opinions to the touch of his hand upon her own. She loved the way his voice quickened when he sparkled with a new idea or was so enjoying one of hers that he loses himself for a moment. But now, all of that has faded into nothing at all but hatred and pain. He had changed into something completely different from the man she married.
He glared at her as he waited to hear what she had to say. He cleared his throat, sending daggers her way. She breathed out averting her gaze, embarrassed. He caught her drooling over him. “Uh.... I... I'm done cooking.” She stuttered, fiddling with her hand. She raised her head to see him rising to his feet. She moved away from the glass door but instead, she gazed at him following the door way out. “You haven't eaten,” she reminded him.
One hand in his pocket as he walked. “Turns out I wasn't hungry.” He walked out without waiting for her respond. She stood still like a planted tree that hasn’t been watered in days. Her eyes and her mouth were frozen wide open in expression of stunned surprise. Her emotions turn jagged and her insides tight.
Before her legs could fail her, she walked up the stairs to her room. Was this part of the punishment he had for her? Or it was a way to chase her out of the house without sending her away himself? If only she had known this was how things would turn out, she would've never agreed to marry him, she would’ve never agreed when daddy offered to sponsor her tuition. She would've stayed with her mother, happy in their small world, just the two of them. But, she stupidly went ahead and married someone’s husband.
In dalia’s sobbing was the sound of a heart breaking. She shook with grief, tears flowing unchecked, there was part of her breaking. That’s what happens when you love someone but they don’t feel the same way about you. To give life to someone who wouldn't live for you.
**
Later in the evening, dalia came out of her room and went to the kitchen to cook dinner before he gets back. As she cooked, the thought of wether he would abandon her food or not swirled in her mind. She slumped her shoulder, sighing. What if she didn't cook, she feared. It meant another hassle.
She finished cooking and arranged everything on the dining table before she went up to her room to freshen up. After she was done getting ready, she stepped out again to the dining area. She ate her dinner alone and moved the living room. She turned on the TV to get her mind away from her worries, but nothing worked; Everything she sees reminded her of him. Everything she does reminds her of the man she thought was the one for her, the one she thought she’d grow old with, happily but now she doubt if any of that was possible.
The door swings open, cutting her off from her miserable reverie. She rise to her feet looking at them. She noticed how his smile disappeared the moment he gazed at her. When she greeted, he walked passed her without a back glance. She stared at his retreating back till he was out her view. She exhaled as she turned her head to look at Yusuf. “Good evening,” she muttered, trying to smile. “How are you feeling now?” He asked her, returning an awkward smile. She responded before turning away and left him there alone before the usual tears burst forth.
She glide upstairs to her room same time he was coming out of his room to meet up his cousin. Yusuf looked at Muhsin in the belief. “Wait, she didn't bring any refreshments for you?” He asked, staring to get enraged. Yusuf gawked at him before hissing.“That isn’t necessary, we need to talk. About this.” Yusuf stared at muhsin’s face, irked. Muhsin shrugged it off and settled down on the three sitter beside Yusuf. He changed the channel as Yusuf started speaking.
“Muhsin... I just said we needed to talk but you shrugged it off like you don’t know what I am about to say.” Muhsin turned and looked at him. “I thought you loved her? Why are you treating the poor girl this way? If you knew you weren't going to take care of their daughter then why marry her? Don’t forget, her father has passed away, she looks at you as her father now after amira’s father. But why are you doing this all of a sudden? Because of what she did? Okay, how sure are you that she actually aborted the baby? You didn't hear her out, didn't make any investigations about it, but you just made the conclusion that she did it. Okay I agree that I have said it too but when I thought of it, I doubt if that girl could do such.”
Muhsin let out a dry chuckle, shaking his head. Whenever he remembered what she has done, the anger and dejection hits him more than it did before. Who could possible frame her? She wasn't a kid anymore to think someone forced her to take the pills. And he couldn't blame anyone especially his Amira because by the looks of it, she has no idea about it. “This girl... dalia... I trusted her, but she betrayed me. I thought she was different, I really did thought she was different but turns I was wrong. I don’t think I can ever forget about this even if I try to. So the best thing now is we drop this talk because it will not change my mind about what I have in stock for her.” He turned his head to the TV while Yusuf continued to stare at him with a shocked expression.
He heaved a sigh as he shook his head. “I am dead scared for you, muhsin. If you let this girl slide off, you have lost the greatest woman in your life.” He got to his feet and bid muhsin good night before leaving.
A week had passed and dalia experienced the same thing everyday. It was either he was yelling at her for not cleaning his room at the right time or cooking what he wanted or just to make her cry. The time whole amira observed everything that was going on. And the moment he steps out, amira would come out with her own way of torturing dalia.
Whatever they did, for once dalia had never reported it to anyone. She believes; Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear. And indeed Allah is with those who patiently endure.
She cried an ocean of tears but none of them cared. She cried in sujood and Allah gave her patience. And with that, she would pass that difficult test.
She heard the door swing open and he appeared. He stood by the door, sending daggers her way. “You know I've been waiting for you for over five minutes outside.” She fiddled with her hands anxiously as she tried to apologize but he had already left. She exhaled, enshrouding her body with her veil. She took her handbag before stepping out her room in hurry before he comes back again. Who knows what he’d do if he comes back and meet her still not ready.
She met him in the car already. She quicken her pace and entered the car, apologizing but he ignored her and started the car. He dropped her off at school before leaving for work.
Dalia walked into the class room, scanning the enormous hall. She spotted Amina at the second row, as usual. She smiled as she walked towards Amina. “Dalia,” she called out hugging her. “How did you lose so much weight? What happened?” She asked, making dalia to roll her eyes. The one thing hates being asked was that. So what if she lost some weight or not.
She settled down on the chair, not bothering to answer Amina’s question. Amina noticed how dalia’s mood changed, she shrugged and turned her attention to her phone.
After classes, they joined their other friends at the school cafeteria. “Dalia.” She heard her name being called which she knew it was hamida. She raised her head from her phone and fixed her gaze on her. “How are you feeling?” She wiggled her brows. Dalia gave her a puzzled look. “C’mon we are tired of waiting for you to announce you’re pregnant after you collapsed weeks ago.” She gaped at them before she chuckled and returned her attention to her phone. “You must be joking!” With that, she never uttered anything to them again till it was time for her to go.
On her way to the parking lot, dalia encountered with Abdulwahab which she haven't met since before she got married. “Just two minutes out of your time please, let me say something.” She looked his way and looked away. “I'm sorry but I'm in a hurry.” She walks ahead but he quicken his pace to catch up with her. “I heard you got married,” he said trying to match her pace. Without saying anything to him, she looked at him again and looked away. “You should've told me you were eager to get married I would’ve...”
“What’s going on here? What are you doing with this guy?” He asked her not gazing at abdulwahab. That was the last thing he would want to look at. “I... he...” She stuttered then trails off looking at abdulwahab for help. She was too afraid to speak out what she had to say. “He's your husband huh? Don’t worry mister we...”
“I asked my wife, not you.” He glared at him before turning his gaze to dalia. She ducked her head, looking melancholy. He hissed softly as he turned and entered his car. She hurriedly followed him and entered the car.
If only she could jump out of the car, dalia would've did that. He yelled nonstop on their way home. If she knew seeing her together with abdulwahab was going to be something, she wouldn't have allowed him to follow her that far. “And from today, you will no longer wear veil to School anymore. Hijabs only and I mean it. We are going to the market to get more hijabs tomorrow after you’re done with classes.” She stared at him with an astonished expression. This means he was jealous and he still loved her. “But... I didn't do anything....” She swallowed her words and turned her head away when he gave her a dead look.
Then he continued from where he stopped. “Why won't you attract men when you wear all these fancy abayas and you know how much I....” Then he let his words trail off as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. The storm had ebbed to nothingness, now the silence was as pure as the cold winter breeze in the night. She took a glimpse at him. She had so many things to say to him but she dared not talk, not when he was angry.