Lexi. Her face was wild and filled with shock. Like she has just walked in on her boyfriend with another girl in bed. This isn't far anyway. Her best friend is making out with her hot step brother.
"Lexi, wait I can…" I tried to explain but she didn't wait for that as she turned and started running down the staircase.
I sit down on the floor, tears gathering to my eyelids. My face is filled with embittered agony and tears that threaten to fall.
I can't lose her too. Everyone here hates me already and now that things have started to get better, I got into this with Lexi. She was the only one who stood by my corner when the whole school was against me. She fought for me and stayed with me.
Ryder couched beside me and wrapped his arms around me. "Hey, it's okay," He said, pulling me up with him. I couldn't even bear looking him in the eyes. The butterflies that I felt in my stomach earlier were all gone bad replaced with regret.
I shouldn't have done that.
I picture my mum telling me "It's okay not to be okay." I cried harder against this chest because all of this is fucked up. I'm betraying my mom and now my best friend. I felt like the most horrible person in the world right now. I wish all of this was easier. I wish we're in a world where I wouldn't be lusting after my stepbrother.
"Shh… it's okay" Ryder says, rubbing circles around my back. But that didn't stop my tears.
"I can go talk to her," he says. I nodded my head saying no.
"She hates you already and probably me too" I say and he chuckled. "It's better I go meet her"
"Okay" he agreed. "Let me know if you need me" he said and I nodded knowing funny well I wouldn't be calling him for help, if I ever needed that.
"Lexi" I called out when I got to the garden. I've searched the whole school for the last one hour looking for her but it was to no avail. I checked the garage and her car is still there which means she is still in school.
The garden is the only place I can think of that she would hide. I come here often whenever I run away from Ryder and she would find me.
"Lexi" I called again when I didn't hear any reply.
"Genie what the actual fuck is that? You and Ryder? Making out there while I worried something has happened to you. " She suddenly caught me off guard.
"No, it's not like that Lexi, I can explain"
"Explain what exactly? Why have you been messing around while you kept leading Someone else on?"
What?
"No, we aren't messing around. I swear. It was just a mistake the first time and today. He called me out to talk and then It just happened so fast that…" I stopped talking. I'm breathing heavily now. I feel so sick to my stomach that I want to vomit.
Wait, did she just say I'm leading someone on?
"I'm… I'm not leading anyone on"
"Oh yes you are! You act and play all nice with Chris Morrison meanwhile you go behind his back and mess around with your stepbrother, Genevieve"
Chris Morrison has been nice and whom I can call my friend and that's it. I never think of him as anything and he never makes an effort to want something other than…
"But he was just being a friend and that's all you know too. " I tried to defend myself. I've not been giving Chris the green light. Though he's been talking to me lately and that's because we're the same…. Class.
She laughs in mockery. " You're too blinded by Ryder to see that. He actually came to me to talk to you about going to prom together"
What? I am stunned into silence.
"When did this even start ugh? Was the bully thing all an act? too?" She asked and I can't believe she's saying this. We've been friends for three good years and she knows how I feel about Ryder Saint. He hates me and I hated him too. I can't say that anymore but I've been anything other than honest with Lexi.
"When did what start?" I asked horrified and angry at myself for repeating her question. I moved a step closer to her.
"Lexi, you know…." I start to say but she cuts me off, putting her hand between us as she takes a step back too as if I pushed her.
"No, I don't even know you anymore.I thought we were friends but friends don't keep things from each other. I don't want to hear anything you have to say" She says, betrayal evident in her tone. I reach out for her hand but she pulls away.
She starts to leave but turns back. "Don't get Chris hope up if you still want to continue screwing Ryder and I hope you enjoy your time with him. You'll get hurt but don't say I didn't warn you. " With that she left me all alone wondering why she suddenly got mad about me and Ryder.
"I guess it didn't work out" Ryder says when I get to his side. I nodded. I still can't get over that Lexi and I just had our first fight and it's because of Ryder. We became friends because of him too.
"She'll come around, okay" He says and wraps his arm around me. I inhaled his scent and snuggled closer into his embrace. It's odd that I'm finding him comfortable amidst all this mess.
"I'm sorry I caused this. It's my fault" he says.
"No it's not your fault. Friends fight and I guess we're there too. It's just that we've never had a fight before"
"Do you still want me to talk to her? We're old acquaintances. " He said and I wondered what he meant by that.
"Do you want a death wish?" I laughed recalling those times Lexi had threatened to kick him in the balls. "No, I can sort it out myself" I insisted. I caused this and should be making amends myself. We stayed like that for I don't know how long. I feel so safe and warm in his arms.
I feel like I'm home. Just listening to the rise and fall of his breath is the whole world to me. I know this is so wrong and I shouldn't be feeling this way but when it comes to Ryder Saint, I'm willing to break all rules and be a rebel, just for him.
"Do you want to grab lunch with me? I've had nothing all day" he says. He came to school early without eating breakfast. Since the fight with his dad last weekend Ryder has been avoiding him. Neither of us mentioned it. I guess he isn't ready to open up about that part of his life.
"No I'm okay" I said and just then my stomach grumbled. I winced and closed my eyes in embarrassment.
"Guess someone is hungry after all." He laughed and I smiled too. Now that he mentioned it, I'm hungry. I remember I was supposed to have lunch but went to meet Ryder instead. Serves me right.