Her toes splashed against the cool water of the pool as Imara’s legs sliced back and forth, and her eyes rose to the sky. “I can’t do it anymore. Please, let me go home this time. Don’t make me come back.”
She heard the glass door shut behind her, and she fanned her face dry. The metal chair Thorin pulled with him scraped against the concrete until he sat down in it beside her. “Is there anything I can do for you, Imara?”
Her head nodded a little as she got lost in the ripples under her feet. “Are you going to tell me the truth now? I think the time for keeping secrets is long gone.”
Hands clasped between his knees as he leaned over and faced her. “Who told you?”
She licked at her chapped lips before she pressed her hands on the ledge she was sitting on. “Thomas.”
“Of course, it was.” He sighed as his eyes fell to his feet. “He never much approved of the way Shaw and I coddled you. I suppose he was right. Keeping you in the dark wasn’t really helpful at all.”
The hair the hot afternoon breeze blew across her tickled Thorin’s arm, and he pushed it back behind her ear. “You see, having a little bit of knowledge can be a terrible thing if you have no context. We knew something was coming for you. We assumed it was because of your gifts or because of Momma and Daddy. I did what I thought was best with the truth as I knew it, but,” -a soft whimper started in his throat as he wiped his eyes- “I’m so sorry. I tried so hard to keep you safe, but I didn’t know which way to turn. I was throwing punches in the dark and hoping for the best.”
Her hand slipped around his calf, and her cheek rested against his knee. “I appreciate everything you and Shaw ever did for me. There’s no better brother anywhere, Thorin. You’re the absolute best.”
Fingers patted his pants leg, and he could hear the shudder in her voice. “Shaw did everything he could to save us. That warlock was just too powerful. He ripped Eliza right from those big strong arms of his like he was the weakest man on Earth.”
His fingers brushed over her hair, and he shook his head. “I do not doubt that for a second. Shaw loved you more than anything, Imara. You were his entire reason for living; it was his pleasure to die for you. Don’t you feel guilty about that? He wanted it that way.”
Her fingernails rubbed against the coarse wool threads of his slacks as she looked for a solution somewhere in the water. “You promised me once that if anything happened to me, you’d find me. You’d watch over Ben and make sure he wasn’t left alone.”
A burn started in Thorin’s belly, and his eyes pinched shut to the terrible feeling rising in him. “I remember.”
“Good.” Fingertips pushed across her cheeks, and she sniffed before looking up to him. “Do you think this curse, if something changed, say if something were to happen to me before Selvin could get to me or if I never have Eliza, that it would break the curse?”
His whole face wrinkled as he clicked his tongue and shook her thoughts away with his head. “No, Imara, I don’t believe it would. I believe it would just start all over again. We got to be ready. We got to fight. It’s the only way.”
Her hand slapped against her chest as it jerked underneath her fingers. “I’m so afraid, Thorin. I can’t face that man again. I won’t do it.”
He dropped to his knees on the hard ground beside her and wrapped his hands around her arms. “Don’t you give up, Imara? I know you’re afraid. No one could blame you for the thoughts swimming around that pretty little head, but we got to see this thing through. He won’t best us this time.”
***
“Thorin, you need to watch Imara closely. She’s not right here.” Haldir tapped his finger against his temple when Thorin came through the parlor door. “She’s talking crazy things.”
Ben rolled his eyes away from the picture window and glanced over his shoulder. “She lost her baby. How the fuck is she supposed to act?”
Three cubes of ice dropped into his glass, and the clink brought Thorin out of his thoughts. “Haldir’s right. We can’t trust her right now. She’s making her own plans on how to end all this, and it doesn’t include facing that monster again. I’ll have Jasper send over guards starting tomorrow.”
The world passed by outside the window like there wasn’t care, and the unfairness burned Ben’s throat. As he rubbed it away with his hand, he spoke to the reflections. “I’ll stay with my wife.”
There was little sleep anymore, and the pain of it groaned from Thorin’s mouth as he slumped down in his chair. “No, Ben, we have work to do, and she’s still quite upset with you, anyway.”
Like someone else was looking back at him in the window, Ben nodded. “She should be.” His fingers slid back through his hair and rubbed at his neck as he turned to leave. “I haven’t been any kind of man at all.”
He didn’t have the strength to face her this morning and left her in the bed all alone. Peeking around the half-open door, he found her facing the window, but he could hear the quiet sniffles coming from her. The bed dipped behind her when he sat down, and she pushed away from the tears from her face. “I don’t want to get pregnant, Ben. I can’t lose Eliza again. I can’t.”
“We’ll be careful.” Her shoulder dropped away from him as his fingers moved down her arm, and that was the moment he knew he’d pushed her too far. “Or do you mean you don’t want me anymore?”
The soft cotton sheets were the only bit of comfort she found in her bed, and she rubbed at them as she reminded her husband of what he told her. “It was you that said loving me was a mistake, Ben.”
His hand wrapped around her arm and flung her backward onto the mattress, and he straddled her beneath him. “That’s not what I said, Imara, and it sure as hell wasn’t what I meant.”
Hot tears dripped onto her cheeks, and his big lips quivered above hers. “I thought if I could make you not love me, or if I could try not to love you, that all this would end. I didn’t want this pain for you, Imara, but there is no not loving you. It’s like the air I breathe. I can’t go on without it.”
His thumbs pushed her tears away. “I love you so much. I’d let you go on never remembering our life together if it would keep you safe from all this.”
Every inch of Imara trembled underneath him as her hands tried to push against his chest. “Nothing that monster did to me hurt worse than you not loving me. Nothing.”