I walked around my apartment not sure of what to do. He was going to be here any minute now and had no idea what I am going to say. I didn't want to stop whatever that was going between us, but I had to. He is a prosecutor. Prosecutors and defense lawyers have always been on the opposite team and will always be on the opposite team. I should end it before things get too complicated.
When I heard the knock on my door I sighed. I wasn't ready.
Get a grip Kari, you can do this.
I walked towards my apartment door and opened it.
There he was, looking handsome as ever. His blond hair neatly combed, and his signature smile plastered on his face. In his hands were a bunch of flowers. I couldn't help but smile a little, he brought me flowers. No one's ever brought be flowers before.
"Are you just going to stand there looking at me or are you going to invite me in?" I rolled my eyes and push the door wider, so he could enter. When he did, he smiled, "these are for you."
I brought the flowers to my nose and smell them, they were divine. I place the flowers on the small table then looked but into his green eyes.
The is going to be so much harder than I thought.
"Are you going to stand there staring or are you going to kiss me?" I looked in his beautiful eyes without saying anything. "It seems I'll just have to kiss you out of your daydream." He walked over and captured my lips with his. The kiss was soft yet so passionate. A tear slipped from my eyes and Seth noticed so he pulled away.
He lifted his head and wiped the tears away, "What's wrong?"
I shook my head. He offered me a small smile, "You can tell me, what's wrong?"
I know I can, but I don't want to.
I don't want this to end.
"Karishma, what's wrong?" he used my full name, and by the look on his face, it meant he was worried. "Kari, you can tell me." He said reassuring me.
"He saw us."
He frowned, "What are you talking about? Who saw us?"
"Gideon"
"Who's Gideon?" I could see the confused look in his eyes.
"He's my uncle and he's also my boss. Seth, he saw us in the courtroom and he told me to end it." I was delaying, and I know but it was just too hard. Seth had become one of my best friends and I spent most of my free time. What will I do without him in my life?
"What?" his brows furrow.
"We can't go on." I felt a next tear slipped out of my eyes. What the hell is going on? I never cry, especially over a man.
"What! Are you serious?" he was getting angry but who could blame him.
I nodded my head, "Yes, I am."
He shook his head and smile, "You're funny, very funny."
I frowned at him. Did he really think that I was joking? I wasn't the type to make a joke so believable that I cry in the act.
"I'm serious Seth. We have to stop seeing each other, my job is on the line."
He took a step from me not saying anything for a few seconds then when he spoke, his voice wasn't angry, it was the opposite. "Karishma you have tears coming from your eyes. It's obvious you don't want to end this, so why are you letting your job get in the way of what we share?"
I didn't answer, I didn't know how to.
My job has always been important to me and will always be. I've never put a man ahead of my career, why should I start now?
"Kari we've managed to separate our jobs from our relationship. Why the sudden change now? Why are going back to the very beginning? We went through all this already. Why are you trying to go back to the beginning?" he looked frustrated now.
I sighed. "That's the whole point, Seth. We would never work out. You're a District Attorney, you put criminals behind bars. I'm a Defence Attorney, I fight for criminals. We'll always be on the opposite team."
"We don't have to let our jobs get in the way. We can make this work."
I wish we could.
"We can't."
"I like you, Karishma." He rubbed his temples. "I like you a lot. You can't do this to yourself, to me, to us."
Another tear fell, "I like you too." I confessed. He was the only person I've ever confessed my feelings to and it's not even in a good situation. It was the end of a friendship and relationship, not the beginning.
"But?" he waited.
"But I love my job, Seth. Do you know how hard it is for twenty-six-year olds to make partner in a law firm? I just made partner, I can't lose my job because I developed feelings for a prosecutor. Please understand."
"I can't understand, Kari. I can't."
"Both my parents are doctors. They wanted me to go to med school instead I wanted to me a lawyer like my uncle Gideon. They were disappointed. I can't disappoint my uncle too. He expects so much from me."
He looked into my brown eyes, his green eyes a few shades darker than they were when he came. "What do you expect from yourself? Before you please anyone you must please yourself first. Tell me you're not happy when we are together?" Why was he asking me such a question especially when he knew the answer to it already?
"I can't answer that." If I did then I'd lose this war. I couldn't let him know how happy he made me because he'd try to fight me. I didn't want to fight, I just waned to win. I wanted him to leave me with my job.
"Because you know we make each other happy." Not I made you happy, he said WE made each other happy. It was a two-way street.
I couldn't take anymore, "Please leave."
He sighed and shook his head. "When you come to your senses, I'll be waiting for you. You have my number. You know where I live."
He kissed my forehead then made his way to my door without looking behind him.
When the door closed. I felt like crying, so I started. I walked over to my couch and lay down in it. After a few minutes of bawling, Rojo came at the foot of the couch and bark. I sniffed and pick her up and placed her in my chest. I rubbed her down and cried some more.
This is one reason, I loved animals.
They are always there to comfort you when you need them.
"Are you seriously not coming out with us tonight?" Iris nagged through the speaker.
"I'm not in the mood, Iris." Especially when going out with Iris and Brandon also meant seeing a particular someone."
"Hmm...Best friend detector is sensing something. What's wrong with you honey?" Her volume decreased in concern.
I shook my head, "Nothing. I'm fine." I'll be fine.
How could I become attached to someone so quickly? How does it hurt so much?
"Hmm...Does this state you're in has anything to do with a particular blond lawyer." It had everything to do with him. If I went out tonight, I'd see him and if I saw him God knows what will happen.
"I just have a lot of work to do, not everything is about men." I didn't mean to sound so rude, but I didn't feel the need to explain why I don't want to go out tonight. She's my best friend so eventually, she'll realize the problem is but for now I want to be alone.
"Okay, Missy. I'll see you soon. Be a good girl." I could hear the slight anger in her voice as she spoke, but knowing Iris she'll forget about this tomorrow. When she hung up the phone, I looked back to my Tv screen. Maybe watching Klaus and Caroline argue will make me feel better. At least they knew how to manage their emotions. Caroline knew she hated Klaus so it's easier to stay away from him. I didn't hate Seth. I liked him, a lot but I love my job.
I sigh and shut off the Tv, maybe watching a hybrid and a vampire love story is not going to make me feel any better than I do at the moment.
I stood from the couch. Iris was right, maybe staying in on a Saturday night is not a good idea especially when you can't help but think about the person you hurt.
I took up my cell phone and dailed the one person I know would be available on a Saturday night. "You home?"
He laughed, "Like, I have anywhere else to be."
I laughed at his words then sobered up saying "Can I come over?"
"My door is always opened to the beautiful lady who saved my life." I rolled my eyes at Nigel's words. I didn't save his life. He was a not-so-innocent man who didn't deserve to be behind bars and compare to all the things he's helped me what he did for me was a two-fold.
"I'll be there in twenty." I disconnected the call. I went into my closet and took out a sweater then when to my liquor cabinet and took out the bottle of vodka I was saving. I grabbed my keys and closed the door behind me.
If you can't cry the pain away, then you drink the pain away.
As I entered the studio apartment, I left my hands up showing the bottle of vodka and a big jumbo bag of chips.
A big smile was visible on Nigel's face. "Were you reading my mind?"
"You're the professional hacker, tell me, did I hack your brain?"
"Nah, you just know that we've had a shitty week." Nigel walked over to me and took the potato chips out of my hands. "Which movie?"
"I don't know. Comedy or Thriller. Definitely no Romance. This is a no romance zone." I didn't need any thoughts getting in my head.
"The terminator." He suggested.
"Nah, that has romance and it's old."
"Bird Box?"
I rubbed my chin. "I've never watched it. I haven't even watched the trailer but based on the memes that have been circulating I don't think it has any romance in it."
"Then it's perfect." He turned around and start looking for his remote. "Btw, are you staying over tonight."
"Of course, I plan on getting really drunk tonight. If you have someone coming to look for you tell them you're busy."
"No honey bunch, only you."
I smiled at his words.
Maybe getting drunk and eating potato chips isn't going to be bad at all.