LISA
May 16th 2018
The darkness has always been my prefered hiding spot, insulating me from reality. It's my quiet space where I can sit back and ponder about my life choices till I gradually begin to feel myself submerging from the darkness that refuses to hold me captive for much longer.
There is no agony or anguish, no one whispering sweet nothings in my ear, and no need for me to attempt to please everyone without first putting my feelings first.
This is where I want to be, this is where I feel most secure. I murdered a man, assisted in disposing of his body, and allowed Layla to steal Chad's money; karma definitely caught up with me.
Jimmy, when I think about him, my heart sinks; he was the first and only man I ever loved apart from my father and brother. Things were amazing between us at first; I truly believed he was my forever, and I loved him with every fibre of my being at the time. I'm glad I walked in on him with Nicki. She rescued me from a lifetime of unhappiness by marrying the sick monster and bearing his children.
"I've committed some heinous acts throughout my life." Chad's voice breaks through the darkness, his voice filled with pain, and my heart aches for him for some strange reason.
"However, I'm going to have to admit that this one has topped the list." He lets out a loud sigh.
'What have you done this time, Chad?" Internally I enquire.
"I'm not a bad person, just a little messed up; I've always been the kid everyone laughed at, the kid my parents despised, and the sibling Caddie couldn't abide. As a result, I attempted to find love elsewhere and -"
***Silence***
'And what, Chad?' I call out, eager to hear the remainder of what he has to say, temporarily diverting my attention away from my demons.
A sudden sensation of my body feeling like it has been lit on fire consumes me, I scream, the agony that has no right being here in my haven proves me wrong and I collapse to the ground...
"Hey, hey... Can I get a fucking doctor in here!!"
"Chad!" I cry out, "It burns, please.. make it stop." I claw at my throat, my chest, feeling like the wind has been knocked out of me."
"Doctor," Chad's voice sounds strained. "What's happening to her?"
"She's having an allergic reaction to the fluids in her-"
I feel myself plummeting deeper into the darkness, I scream, when a familiar voice calls out to me.
"Jimmy?" My voice trembles, my eyes encased in the darkness and I reach out trying to see if I can feel him, I am met with nothing but air. "Am I in hell?"
His vile chuckle makes me want to crumble with fear, the darkness is no longer my oasis.
"You should be after you fucking murdered me." His words are laced with venom.
"I... you know me, Jimmy. I didn't do it on purpose! I'm sorry." Tears shamelessly slide down my cheeks. "Please forgive me, I panicked an-"
"You murdered me, you robbed my children of their father, my wife of her husband and me, the rest of my life." His deep velvety voice I once found attractive has me all twisted up inside.
"Then..." His voice lingers in the air between us as he pauses for a second or two. "You put me into a drum and threw my body into a bin, watching as a dump truck took me away, depriving my family of their final goodbyes to me."
"No!" I spin around in a circle, "that was Laylas idea." I inform him like a snitch yearning for stitches. "But that was your fault."
"My fault?!!" He bellows out, causing an eruption of goosebumps to spring to life against my cold skin.
I wrap my arms around my torso, slowly moving backwards, praying I haven't died, and I'm stuck here with him.
"Yes, your fault. She blames you for Ryder's death."
He chuckles. "And what bullshit did she tell you, Lisa?" He sneers. "You haven't changed a bit, still hanging on like a leech to everyone's opinion about me." He makes a tittering sound, the tip of his tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth.
"I believe her, all those times you made me dress up In those pyjamas you-"
"You fucking loved it, Lisa." He cut me off mid-sentence. "You would moan under me, your nails greedily enticing me to take you harder as you marred my skin with claw marks."
"NO!!" I cry out.
"YESSS... You did, you helped me keep my sick fantasies alive."
"I didnt know back then what I do now." I cry out. "I mean, yeah.. I thought maybe you were undercover into guys and you didn't want to come out of the closet, I wasn't ready to let you go because I loved you."
"Liar..." He whispers, his voice echoing and crashing into me like a tonne of bricks."
"No! I tru-"
"Liar!!"
"Tell me this, Jimmy. Did you ever fantasise about touching your sons or someone else touching them?" My throat burns as bile builds up in my stomach, and the urgency to be sick consumes me.
"Ryder's death had nothing to do with me, he was the one that pulled the trigger that night, not me."
"You didn't answer my question," I say through gritted teeth.
"It is time for you to wake up."
"I want to know, Jimmy," I say with more urgency as I faintly hear a conversation being held between Chad and two feminine voices.
"Wake up!" Jimmy demands, his voice full of resentment.
"Did I save your boys of a lifetime of torment, Nicki from a toxic marriage with you?"
"You will never know the answers to your questions." He mutters, "Now, for the final time, murderer, WAAKE UPPP!!"
Abruptly, the curtains to my vision drawback, I blink quickly as my eyes try to adjust to the harsh natural light that is momentarily blinding me and I gasp for air, my starving lungs burning with each breath I forcefully inhale.
"Lisa!" Her worried voice pierces my ears as her face appears in my line of vision and her features mirror the sound of her voice.
"The blood belongs to Jimmy Slater...." I instantly recognise Detective Evie's voice.
'Fuck!!!' My Inner Goddess cries out, 'They know you killed the bastard.'