As soon as I left Slater’s room, I finally let the tears I’d been desperately holding back run down my cheeks.
Cian, my wolf, was howling with pain inside my chest; he’d liked Cha—Eamon so much that he craved his presence every day, not to mention the pain in my chest stopped whenever I was around him.
Would I ever get used to coming to terms with the fact that Eamon was also Charis? I knew there was a feminine aura around him that I’d ignored back then, but now, I wish I’d listened to my instincts.
The signs had been in plain sight.
I unbuttoned the top buttons on my shirt, feeling suffocated suddenly. My mind kept replaying every moment I’d shared with Eamon. Every laugh, every tender touch, every kiss, and how he conveyed his feelings about me through his actions, too.
All of it had been nothing but a lie. The boy I thought I was falling for didn’t exist. He was a phantom, an illusion designed to deceive everyone around him.
The familiar darkness began creeping in, that crushing sense of isolation that always came whenever I’ve been hurt the deepest.
It was the same feeling I’d had when my father had chosen his new wife over spending time with me, when my stepmother had made it clear I was an unwelcome reminder of his first marriage, when I’d realised that my illness made me a liability rather than an heir worth investing in.
The pain was becoming unbearable; I couldn’t breathe.
I stumbled through the corridor, gasping for air, yanking at my neck, to unclog my restricted airflow. The corridors were hemming me in, my vision was blurry, and I felt like I was drowning. I needed air. I needed relief, something to silence the voices.
There was only one thing that had ever provided that relief.
The last time I did it, I nearly got into trouble with the boys, and I had promised to stop, but I couldn’t anymore with everything that’s been happening. I needed to feel sane.
I couldn’t wait to get back to my house, so I made my way to a hidden corner behind my classroom building where no one ever went. It was a secluded spot between two walls, where maintenance equipment was stored, out of sight from any walkway.
I pulled out the small blade I always carried in my jacket.
"Breathe, Rhett!" I whispered to myself. "You can control your emotions. This is not who you are, you can be stronger..."
But the words sounded like a lie to me, and I was sinking to the bottom of the pool fast. Taking in a deep breath, I pushed up my sleeve on my left arm, staring at the faint lines from the last episode, which were almost healed.
Rhett, please don’t do this. Go and find, Kael, find Slater... please. Cian whispered to me.
Slater betrayed me, too, and Kael... he seemed too preoccupied these days to worry about me.
I tugged my sleeve higher with shaking fingers and slowly drew the edge of the blade across the inside of my forearm. I drew a second line, and then a third, watching a thin line of red appear against my skin.
The pain cut through the suffocation, and I felt myself floating back to the top of the pool. The screaming in my mind dulled, and everything else faded away. Eamon’s betrayal, the loneliness, the endless expectations I could never meet.
Loyalty matters even more than love. That’s what my stepmother used to say, back when she was still trying to pretend she wanted to be my mother.
And for me? Loyalty is all I had. My stepmother tried to turn my father against me. My father tried to buy my silence with gifts and appointments I never asked for.
And now Eamon—he was the last person I let close.
I pulled out a small vial tucked inside my inner jacket and opened it, waving the small bottle of whisky under my nose as I inhaled the scent. I took a sip, then poured the burning liquid on the cuts on my hands, groaning in ecstasy as the pain spread through me.
I collapsed onto the ground and just lay there, staring at the soft grey sky peeking between the trees. The pain has almost faded, and the emotional agony has gone completely.
Just when I thought a beam of sunlight had finally entered my life, I’d been reminded once again that I was alone. Even Cian had gone quiet, retreating deep inside my mind where the hurt couldn’t reach him.
He would come around after a few hours.
I half-sat up and emptied the remaining alcohol inside my mouth before lying back on the grass.
This morning, I received a text from my father asking me to come home this weekend so I could accompany them to Lydia Marlowe’s pack. My mate to be—for our first official introduction as potential mates.
It was the beginning of a future I didn’t want, but my father had stressed its importance. Anything can happen tomorrow, Rhett. We should at least have a mini-you around to remind the world that you once existed.
And so, I thought maybe I could visit Eamon before then. Perhaps we’d talk, kiss, and I would feel good because his presence had started becoming the only good thing I looked forward to every day.
But now everything had turned sour, and I didn’t know what to do.
I sat up, staring at the ugly bruise that had already formed on my arm, before checking my wristwatch. Escorts from the pack house would come by 1 pm, so I had less than two hours before they arrived.
Just as I was pulling my sleeve back down, my phone buzzed with a text notification.
It was a text from the school board PRO.
Emergency board meeting in fifteen minutes.
With a groan, I sat up and zipped back my jacket, forcing myself to stand while wondering what crisis had happened again that required such an urgent meeting. In any case, I couldn’t go there looking like a mess. Follow current novels on ɴovᴇl_Firᴇ.ɴet
When I rushed into my house, I ignored Sarah and ran into my room. Washed my face with cold water and changed back into a fresh black blazer and button-down shirt. There were still blood smudges on my wrist, but I tugged my sleeve lower. No one would know.
Twenty-five minutes later, I walked into the conference room where the board always met.
As soon as I entered, everyone rose to their feet respectfully.
Older men and women clad in expensive clothes. Luna Helene, the Luna Queen and Darian’s mother, in her signature pale lilac gown, Luna Alice Webb, and other board members.
We were twenty in total, all representatives from Major Packs in our world. Every pack here had influence and wealth compared to an average pack, and they were the main funders of Ravenshore and Ebonvale Academy, respectively.
I took my position at the head of the table. Despite being the youngest in the room, none of the meetings could start without me. It was customary for a son from the Thatcher family to always have a place on the school board, regardless of age, since my family was the founder of Ravenshore and owned the largest share.
It was a legacy that I had to pass on to my son one day, that’s why I must marry Lydia Marlowe.
I spotted her father, Alpha Marlowe, at the end of the table; he had a pleasant smile on his face.
"Apologies for arriving late," I said calmly, without offering any further explanation.
Headmistress Vale immediately stood up and started speaking. She seemed tense.
"I called this meeting in response to the multiple texts and emails I got from parents, largely from a huge number of this board and also use this avenue to bring you up to date with what’s happening on campus at the moment."