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Xyna
“Are you okay, Naddy?” Hilary asked after they ran onto me. I just nodded even though I'm not okay. But this is me, I always want to hide my feelings from the others.
And them seeing me in this miserable estate makes me feel ashame. As much as possible I don't want them to see me in this estate. But it already happened. They already saw me in this kind of estate.
“Y-Yes, I-I'm okay. I'm fine, don't worry" I said.
“What's fine by this?! After all the things that happened? And also after you and that freaking motherfucking Dwyne broke up?! Then you tried to commit suicide, this is what you called fine?” Agatha said sarcastically. I bent my head again.
"What?! Naddy tried to commit suicide?!" Hilary and Freya exclaimed.
"Before I that, may I ask who the hell are you? And why are the two of you here? And to answer your question, yes Xy did tried to commit suicide”
"I'm Freya. I'm Naddy's friend”
“I'm Agatha. I'm Xyna's former personal assistant, but I resigned. But me and Xy were also bestfriends.”
"I'm Hilary, and what did you say? Broth—I mean Dwyne and Xy broke up?" Hilary screamed that seem to have just realized what Aga said.
"Ah, so, your older brother is that cheater?! Tell your older brother-"
"Hep hep hep, for goodness sake Dev is with us! She has ears, she's not deaf. She can hes what we're saying. You know that she just made her heart broken because of that guy and you really are going to talk about him" I heard my twin—Xiera said. Good thing she's ok now though.
The two fell silent and apologized to me. But I didn't respond because I pretend to be asleep to avoid them from asking me questions. I don't want to see the pity in their eyes also. And what they talking about just now turns so awkward so I just pretend to be asleep, for me to escape the incoming spotlight in my way.
But I'm thankful because even if it's already evening and many people might've sleeping at this time, they still come here just to look after me.
I felt honored because I had a friend like them. It's just awkward because Hilary's brother is Dwyne ... who is my ex now. Again a tear streamed down my eye even though it was close. I can’t wipe it off because they might know I’m awake.
I just let it go until I realized I had fallen asleep.
***
"Can you leave me alone for a moment, please” Agatha raised an eyebrow at me.
"And why would we do that? So that you can continue your plan? No, we're not leaving!" I mentally sighed. She's overthinking again.
"Please, I'm beggin'. I want to be by myself for now. I want to think things throughly by myself. Don't you trust me?” I said.
Xiera grabbed Agatha's arm
"She's right. She also needs time to think for herself, Aga. Let's leave for now. And it looks like she won't do that thing again, you know. Let's trust my twin. Let's trust her” she said that made Agatha's expression softened.
Maybe she thinks that Xiera's also right. She sighed.
"Okay, as long as you don't do that again. Promise me.” Agatha said worriedly.
I just nodded. “I promise. Don't worry about me. I just did that that time because my mind's in haze. I'm calm now. You can trust me” I said and give out a faint smile. They nodded at me.
“Okay. Okay. We'll trust you. We'll leave now. Just...take care of yourself” I nodded and they have left.
The wind blew so my hair goes with the rhythm of the wind. Now that I'm alonw, I don't seem to want to live anymore. This emptiness...this feeling of being in the dark room again.
This feeling that everything feels so dull. This feeling of wanting to just leave this cruel world.
I looked out the window. And there I saw the bright sunlight causing me to cover my eyes. I remember. The weather was just as hot like today, when we climbed the mountain on our third day at Dwyne's resort.
It was early in the morning when we started climbing the mountain. We want to see the sunrise so we really started climbing it at dawn. And it was a success, because we reached the top of the mountain just before the sun rise.
I got dressed. I had to have fun so I could kind of forget everything that happened. I want to overcome this emptiness that's taking over me. I want to see things so colorful and not as dull as is it today.
I headed to the parking lot and got in my car and started the engine then I left the house.
I turned on my music player in the car. And at the exact time, it was playing a part of my favorite song. It's Evanescenes, just so you know I'm a big fan of their band. It's just that, their song are so beautiful.
My Heart Is Broken
By: Evanescence
“All body feel that I will never find a way to heal my soul
And I will wonder till the end of time
Torn away from you
My heart is broken...
Sweet sleep my dark angel...
Deliver us, from sorrows hold.”
A tear escaped from my eyes
Why does it feel like it reflects to what I felt? My heart is broken. Really really broken. Because of everything. Everyone. Especially Dwyne. My trust...my heart...has been broken again. It felt like it shattered into pieces, and I don't know how to put it back together again.
I saw a truck in the distance. At the intersection. And it looks like it has lost its control. The brake won't work.
If I don’t stop I will crash.p with the truck. And of course I might die. But if I stop now,of I stop at this time I can survive...
But... there are kids from not far away. And they don’t seem to notice the truck approaching. When I stopped, they were the one who's going to....
Die! Because they will be hit by a truck. I can't afford to put the lives of those kids in danger just so I can survive from the crash! I'd rather just die!
Because their lives are still more important than mine. They can have a good future. They can have a beautiful and peaceful life. Life that I didn't have. Life that I always wanted to have but...never happened.
I know when they hear the loud beep of my car and a thud when my car finally crash with the truck, they can run!
I accelerated the drive and there the side of my car collided with the truck.
Everything seemed to be in slow motion. And I can feel the loud beating of my heart.
“Change...open your eyes to the light
I denied it all so long....”
My car windows are broken. Reason for the glass to pierce all over my body especially on my face. My car sped away and rolled over in the road because of the impact the truck made. I felt excuriating pain all pver my body. I couldn't even open my eyes anymore because it has the glass pierced on it too.
“Say goodbye....
Goodbye!”
I hope the kids run. I-I hope they're safe now.
“My heart is broken
Release me
I can't hold on....”
My body was slowly weakening. I was slowly losing my consciousness.
I gave out my one final smile. Atleast I saved someone before I die. It make my heart feel better. I sacrificed my life again for someone, even if it won't do me anything in favor.
But that's me. I think of everyone's sake than mine's.
A tear escaped from my eye. My one last...tear. I can finally rest in peace.
“My heart is broken...
Sweet sleep my dark angel!
Deliver us”
‘I-I’m sorry, everyone. I didn't keep my words. I can't fulfill what I promised thay I will not die now. I'm s-sorry if I leave y-you '
My wish didn't happen. My only wish that can make my life change. It didn't happen. It didn't...
“R-Re...demp...tion, nev--er ca-ca...me”
Then everything went black.
***