©SilentGoddess 2018
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~~~
I'm Gay.
I know from myself that I'm gay.
Then suddenly she came from nowhere and make me question again myself.
And right now I don't know anymore.
~~~
Greyson
'All my heart is so good, I love you babe so bad.'
I sway my head from side to side as I enjoying to listen LANY song, but then my eyes caught Khryzel crying, "there she goes again" I mentally shake my head as I removed my earphone as she went and sat beside me.
I wait for few minutes before she speak up and like what I expected it was her boyfriend again.
"I-I c-caught B-bryle, m-making out with an another other girl again," she sobbed as she wiped her tears like a kid that lost her favorite doll in the park. I really don't know why she liked that Bryle dude, he's not good for her, he's a toxic poisonous air headed dick.
"Hush," I scoot beside her and I put my right arm around her, she lean her head on my shoulder as she continued to cry like a kid.
I can't help but just listen to what she says, although it's kinda sick hearing that Bryle name from her mouth. It makes my blood boiled and wanna punch the hell out of him. I really don't even know why she liked that guy. He's nothing honestly but a jerk!
"I'm so hurt..." She mumbled as she sobbed, I sighed deeply and turn my head down to her.
"You're always complaining that Bryle dude to me, and yet you still didn't do any move to end it." I said furrowing my brows, she looked up to me.
"W-what do you m-mean?" She stuttered as she look straight to my eyes.
"Break up with him," I simply said.
"I..." I put my index finger to her pinkish lips.
"Don't tell me that you can't, because I know you can. I know you love him but Khryzel, duuuh! Hello! Wake the hell up!" I said in almost upset tone. Here we are again, I know she probably won't listen to me, and here I am trying to wake her up to the reality that the guy she loved wasn't the one for her.
Though she can find another guy.
She can find someone better and not that Bryle.
"You deserved better," I said while nodding my head.
"Someone who will love you right and treat you right, unluckily..." I paused as I shakes my head, "Bryle was not the one." I added as I tucked her dark brown hair in her left ear.
She bowed her head but I lifted it up, she's now staring in mine. Her eyes is so pretty and yet, I can see through her puffy hazel eyes the pain she's dealing right now, 'cause her eyes tell it so.
"Greyson why are you Gay?" She ask raising her both brows making me chuckle unexpectedly.
"Why's that question all of a sudden?" I ask as I avoided her gaze.
"Are you really a Gay?" She ask and I nod, "Yeah? I mean yeah! I am." I said as I put my both hands on my pocket, as I look directly in the streets to avoid this kind of awkward conversation.
"Is there any possible that you can be straight again?" She asked curiously and I look at her confusedly, my jaw tensed up. What's the point? Why she's asking me all of a sudden this question?
I shakes my head from side to side "No, because I'm Gay. I know from myself that I'm Gay and I'm really am." I said and she lamely nod.
I don't know...
And I don't want to question myself again. If I am or not.
And since that I say that I'm Gay, I'm no longer to take it back, because I knew that it was me. This is really me.
"Since when you knew you are Gay?"
"16," she exhaled deeply and stares at me as she half a smile.
"I'm very thankful that I have you as my friend," She said.
"Okay so now you're going to be emo," I said in sarcasm.
I don't know what's running through her head right now, but well never mind.
She chuckle. "No, maybe you're right it's time to let him go." I looked at her surprisedly am I hearing things? Did she just say she will let that dick head go? I don't know but it makes me so damn happy. I touch her forehead, cheeks and neck back to her forehead again just to check what temperature she is, maybe she's sick or what but it's normal.
"Are you sick?" I ask and she chuckle and removed my hands to her forehead.
"Greyson, I'm serious." She said.
"Oh okay, Hi, serious I'm Greyson." She rolled her eyes on me.
"Ha -Ha you're so corny." She said as I chuckle
"But you know, that's a good thing to know. But what makes you change your mind?" I ask and she shrug her shoulder.
"Because you're right, that sometimes we see people so perfectly in our heads that we cannot make out their flaws to ourselves until someone shatter the glass for us." She explained as she stares to my eyes, her eyes is really pretty that I easily can get lost in.
"And now you're being dramatic?" I said almost in a whispered as I looked away nervously, what the hell is happening to me? I don't really even understand myself whenever she's around me.
"I hate you!" She rolled her eyes playfully.
"Can you just listen to what I say and never say some side comments will you?" She said as she laugh her laugh makes me laugh too. This girl I swear can beat all the hell outta me.
"Want an ice cream? My treat." I said then she agreed, I lift my left hand to her and she smile as she took it.
We hold each others hand as we walk to the nearest Ice cream parlor, and we talk about how's our day is.
Sometimes, I don't even understand myself when I'm with her.
She's the only girl, I know that can make me question myself all over and over again.