Regret, that was all she felt. A great regret.
How could you do that?
Days ago, that was exactly what Amber wanted to do, scream and yell at herself and then at that man who became her lover. It was something she did not want to believe but it was the truth. Amber had thought at the time that being held down because of that cold she got would give her a pass by being away from him. It was the best way to get away from him. Push all her shit in that bag and run.
To think she gave in to her desire like so, unfortunately, they had to spend the remainder of the week at the cottage, obviously pleasing his family. And after they returned home she thought it would all faze out and disappear soon everything would go back to the normal life she had once. But boy she was wrong.
And all this started with a small introduction at a tea party. She wishes she never stepped in that venue.
A month ago :
"I am okay!" Said Amber, but she sat on her couch with Chinese takeout in her hand. The editorial work she had been working on for one year was too much. Her boss was constantly wanted her all day giving her menial work like cleaning her house and grabbing her food. She was supposed to be her editor and help her with her work. But now she was an assistant and a cleaning lady. She hardly had friends, but the ones who called her out for drinks once a while was now over it and never called because of Amber bailing at the last minute every single time.
'I keep telling you, you need to quit. Just go to your mom's cottage. Live there, get your life figured out, and then think about it. Your boss is treating you like a slave'
Amber rolled her eyes ashamed that her sister knew about this detail, glancing at the new flashing on TV about snowfall expected in a few days, she sighs knowing very well that's she might need a new heater in her place.
In five months' time, Amber was gloomy, the thought of spending time on herself was dead. There was no way that she was going to tell her sisters this. Nor she has any intention of going out to her mother and listening to her talk down on her career choice like always.
Her heart dropped slightly every time she heard her sister talk about her husband. Coby. Coby was sweet, charming, handsome, and very much romantic. Someone she fell for when they met for the first time at a friend's event.
She softly answered her sister, but her voice started betraying her.
'I am just tired Mia, I just have a lot to work on
'I have seen you get buried with work for the past six months. You need a break, come live with us at least, It's Christmas soon. I want you to mix with my family and ours too. We will have a big party before Eve and dad would be happy to see you'
Christmas huh. She remembers Christmas last year, just when she joined the company as an editor and it was hell but the pay was everything she needed. She has no other way to get paid. Even if her boss kept her up till seven in the morning on Christmas Eve while enjoying her parties. She was asked to pick her friend's from the airport thrice!
'I worry about you'
'You shouldn't really.' She glanced at the cold noodles and wondered how it was that she was still like this. Away from all her family and friends. It had been two years since she last saw all of them. Two years since she saw Coby who she fell and then suddenly he was married to her sister. She avoided her and her heart broke every time her sister begged her to meet up.
And now she was, with a boss who treated her like a cleaning lady, harsh workmates, hardly any savings to move and start over and there was no chance her boss would recommend her to another place and she was stuck. She stared at her apartment and sighs, it was a mess and it wasn't habitable. It was just in terrible condition.
She wouldn't be surprised if she woke up in the middle of the night with water pouring down from her ceiling.
So far, she hadn't mentioned the problems to her dad or sisters, who left the state for further work and education reasons. She knew that if she did the entire family would arrive at her door to hold and with sympathy. She did not need sympathy. Sometimes, her sister did not even help. They said sat there talking about how good their life was.
And her father already had a lot in his life. After the divorce from her mom, he was very much into traveling and forgetting everything. He was too sweet and she could not trouble him more.
She was excellent with her work, she would have had a brilliant workplace with her qualifications were just a bit different. Unfortunately, her dad could not afford to pay for her studies, and here she was, finally getting the position she was great at but with many problems. Besides, a twenty-five-year-old couldn't ask for help without seeming hopeless. She was too proud of that.
'Why can't I worry? I am your sister'
"Because...You are my younger sister. It's me who should be worrying about you"
Amber heard her sister sigh and then chuckle lightly. She tucked her kegs under her chin and her black hair fell over her eyes. She pushed them away. She heard Coby in the background, he was cooking for Mia. Amber envied her but she did not know about her feelings.
"I'll be okay. I will try to make it for the new year party, alright"
Amber decided to put off all the awkward conversations about her life and avoid it together. The fact that her sister was the most outward before people and could be loved by all always put Amber in the shadows but she was always kind made Amber stay away from her because Mia was very good at reading people and could figure out her problems very easily given her no choice but to give in or hurt her sister's feelings by pulling away.
' I have good news though' Amber rose her eyes at that sudden statement.
'We are buying a new house!'
Amazing. It was amazing how well she was doing. This was something her sister had been talking about for years, the minute her said I do She wanted to buy their own house and so did Coby. Amber was a thriller for her sister, she really was proud and happy for her baby sister. But soon after that amazing news, she suddenly felt a weight push against her chest.
She was the eldest of the three sisters. And yet she wasn't even near her perfect life as she imagined. Where was the time she was supposed to enjoy her life? Where were the men who likes her for who she was in her life? Where was the perfect job she so badly worked hard for?
Unlike Mia, Amber spent her teen years studying and struggling with her parents always fighting and hiding her sisters from watching over such things. She was always known what she would be and her father always encouraged her. She was always the nerd and was always serious. But it did not help. While she studied, Mia went with the flow and never thought too much.
Amber was trying to live up to their mother and father's expectations and trying her best to be someone she always wished to be while Mia kept that aside and partied. At the teenage of nineteen, Amber was loving her life while studying for her career and hoping for a good life.
She had not been conditioned to enjoy the freedom at her disposal and had almost developed a crush on Coby, Who was taken away from her as many other things like a car her sister got for her birthday after begging her mom and dad even though she did not work or that time when her other sister Chrissy got the money to go travel around the world from her mother something Amber needed to start a life at the city she was actually accepted as an editor. Unfortunately, she could not go because of the exceptionally high rent prices.
That night she stared at the void with many thoughts eating her brain when a buzz pulled her out of the foggy state. She grabbed her cell phone swiping the screen to unlock her phone.
'We are going to a tea party to represent our brand and we heard your boss will be out of town tomorrow. Will you join us? It's a very formal event and we can go for drinks after that'
With that was the invitation with an address to the menu. Pretty quickly she understood this was in fact one of the high-class parties her friend had access to because of her connections.
Amber stares at her friend's text and sat up. She had one friend from this company and this was the first time she was invited to a high-class party and she wondered if she could go.
'Yep, see you tomorrow' Amber texted. Her boss was busy and out of town, her work was piled up, but she wanted to get some time to herself before her Boss returned and filled her desk with even more work the next day.
And there she was, staring at herself in the mirror with a proud feeling when she pulled herself together from the messy image she always carried and put together a very much approachable appearance. Amber was glad she bought that beige knee-length body con dress from the sale section in the mall. There was finally a place to wear it.
She was hesitant to put this body con dress on fearing she might not look as good but all that running back and forth for her dragon boss had kept her in a good shape at least. Pulling a few strands of her hair to the back and clipping them she put on a natural peach lipstick and some makeup before leaving the house.
'Haven't seen you in a while, Amber. I suppose Miss Aston keeps you rushing all day'
That was the truth and everyone knew it, Amber chuckled as they walked in the doors of the venue and boy was she stunned.
It was amazing how colors, designs, and people could make it look rich. There was a rich aura creeping out from every man and woman as they talked with grace and elegance. One of the reasons why Amber was accepted as the editor in her company where they hardly chose any new interns to work that quickly was because she was good with her manner and elegance. Amber had her puls points while communicating with people higher up than her and even lower.
One hour talking with her friend's colleges and another hour enjoying the tea as she finally stood up to excuse herself to the ladies. As she pushed open the golden doors of the restroom she pulled out her lipstick and fixed herself before taking a deep breath, she was tired already. And the constant messages of her boss did not help.
The sudden thump in one of the stalls startled her as the door slowly open. Her eyes stared at the mirror watching behind as a woman in a red dress walked out and widened her eyes upon seeing Amber. She gathered herself and walked out slowly. Just when Amber thought she must've slipped her mouth hung open slightly at the man walking out the stall and fixing his suit. He noticed her but never budged.
Running his fingers through his hair as staring at Amber through the mirror. That man was the type to make any women shiver in pleasure upon a glance.
'I suppose you will keep shut about it' He muttered walking out as she cleared her throat looking down and closing her lipstick while tossing it in her bag, all while walking to the door.
"If you want people to keep huss about it, maybe don't do it in a public restroom"
Amber was stunned at her own words. Maybe it was the dress that gave her the confidence or maybe it was a simple fact, that the lady wore such skimpy clothes, had her hair in a mess, and looked so much worse than Amber in her messy days, Yet she pulled a hot guy like him in a stall and did the deed.
There was something about him that made Amber jealous.
'Maybe don't give a fuck about others?' She jumped as his hand blocked her from reaching the door. She could smell his cologne. She dares say he was a handsome guy, Like a Greek god. Amber breathed out smiling and tilting her head at him.
"Sure. Have a good day sir"
He watched her push his hand away with just her finger, showing very well how badly she wanted to avoid contact and pulled open the doors disappearing in the hallways. There was no girl who talked to him like that. He found girls like her undesirable.