But Caspian didn’t walk away even after he thought that. Asher didn’t care about his gender, and besides, they had bigger issues than that.
After finding out that the Alpha had already known about his hard kept secret while it was eating at him, and realizing that Asher hadn’t treated him any differently, it healed him a little.
Going back to Moonstone and getting to see for himself how stupid Noah was had also been really cathartic.
Caspian’s tense expression eased into a thoughtful one, Asher would still be gone for four or so more days.
And honestly, wearing lingerie was the better option than scrolling through blogs reading the sex escapades of Asher’s past flings.
Asher had only been gone for two days, how did it get to the point where he even had those options?
He had pulled off dresses... somewhat, so he could do the same with lingerie.
Caspian couldn’t exactly say why he wanted to try them on; if it was to convince himself that he really wouldn’t suit it, or that Asher wouldn’t find it attractive on him.
Which was a conversation going in circles, because the Alpha wouldn’t even be here to see it.
He knew he had lost the fight when he took his printed shirt off, reaching into the drawers that held the lacy underwear like he was hypnotized.
The first set he picked up was deep shade of velvet, and it looked fairly simple until he tried to get it on.
Several minutes later, he stood lightly panting in front of the mirror, the frilly bands of the garter the lingerie had come with digging into his thighs.
Caspian scowled at his reflection, damp strands of his hair sticking to his face.
A lot of the women on the blogs had been quick to provide pictures of the lingerie and he looked nothing like they did.
Which was silly because of course he wouldn’t. Caspian pushed a hand through his hair as he tried to figure out exactly what he wanted.
Would he be cursed to have gender envy for the rest of his life? It was ridiculous because he was the one in Asher’s bedroom and not one of his flings.
He had just wanted to try on the lingerie because it was something Asher liked but the voices in his head were already accusing him of pretending to be what he wasn’t.
Indignant, he refused to take the lingerie off, sitting resolutely at his dresser.
If sitting for a few hours in lingerie was what he needed to come to the terms that he could wear whatever he liked without spiraling, then he would.
This was something he would need to address eventually anyway, Asher loved him regardless, and that was all that mattered.
Caspian sighed at his exhausting train of thought, reaching for a tube of lipstick with an interesting design.
The sight of his nails made him remember the function; he should probably get them taken out.
Fiddling with the lipstick led to putting some on, too caught up in his head to feel ridiculous about sitting at the dresser wearing next to nothing.
The door slamming open made him flinch badly, smearing his lipstick on his face.
Caspian whipped around in horror, no one else should be able to barge into the walk-in closet...
Dread pooled in his middle as he shot to his feet, the dark red lipstick he had applied, fell from his hand and broke against the warm wooden floor, staining it red.
Caspian was frozen, he wanted to cover up, he wanted to ask why Asher was back so soon, he wanted the ceiling to cave in and spare him the embarrassment.
It didn’t help that Asher was just as frozen, standing some distance away, those familiar hazel-gold eyes inscrutable.
Caspian would have looved to explain what was going on but he had no idea how to.
Where would he start from? The gossip blogs about Asher? He might as well be shot.
His explanation was cut short by the Alpha closing the distance between them in a heartbeat, pinning him against the edge of the dresser.
Caspian was certain his heart did a little jump, and he couldn’t say if it was because of the suddenness of the Alpha’s movement or because of the feel of his hard body against his mostly naked one.
The intimacy of the moment fell to the wooden floor like his lipstick when he got a glimpse of the emptiness in Asher’s eyes.
He had been too shaken to notice but Asher had stared at him like he did just before he went ahead and left the imprint of his teeth on his shoulder.
Marks that were clear to see as he wore nothing but a lacy see-through bra.
Caspian’s heart thudded in his chest, and it had nothing to do with how Asher pinned him against the hard wood digging into the small of his back.
He had his hands up against Asher’s chest, and although he tensed up at the realization that Asher was completely out of it, he didn’t try to push him away... yet.
Because he knew that pushing Asher away wouldn’t work, he wouldn’t even be able to budge the Alpha, much more push him away.
The last time this had happened, he hadn’t been trying to run away. The empty look in Asher’s eyes promised a world of pleasure, and equal amounts of pain.
Caspian darted his eyes around as he tried to map out the fastest route out of the closet.
If he could get out of the closet before Asher, he would be able to lock the Alpha in; triggering the alarm afterwards would be easy.
He could also just call Jael, he wouldn’t even need to have the entire mansion come running, especially not when he was wearing nothing but lacy lingerie.
Asher still seemed taken in by the sight of him, and Caspian had the lingerie to thank for that.
Even while out of it, he was probably so thrown off by the outfit that it would give him the time to get away.