Sensitive content ahead. Reader's discretion is advised.
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Khushi
Once Priya walked out of the room, I felt victorious as I recalled the tears of embarrassment in her eyes when she apologized to me.
I still have a long way to go to punish each Rathore. Punishing some of them for doing what they did to me and others for not doing anything when so much wrong was being done to me in this house.
Sighing, I took a few deep breaths.
I did not want to remember the horrendous details of what I had suffered in this mansion.
I was about to walk to the cupboard to get a change of clothes for the night when Arnav stopped me by holding my wrist.
Out of reflex, I immediately snatched my hand away from Arnav's hold.
"Khushi, how will we move on if you even refuse to let me hold you? Please, Khushi, to believe that I will never hurt you, you will have to trust me enough to at least let me casually touch you," Arnav said, and I felt anger rise within me.
'I would never trust you again, you pathetic excuse of a man.' I wanted to shout that at Arnav, but I controlled myself.
If I want to bring Arnav to his knees one day, for now, I will have to pretend I am trying to move on from what happened and show him my effort of trying to give him one more chance.
"I am sorry, Arnav. I know you are genuinely sorry for what happened between us, but I will need some time to move on. I want to trust you more, but I still fear your touch.
"You used to beat me, Arnav. You used to touch me in a way that caused nothing but pain and scar on both my body and soul. You even-" I wanted to remind Arnav of what he did, but he interrupted me.
"I know what I did, Khushi. I know I have made some grave mistakes in the past. And I appreciate you trying to move on from that." Arnav smiled slightly and, walking closer to me, he lightly caressed my cheek.
I fisted my hands, trying to bite down the nauseating feeling that rose in me at that revolting touch.
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to move back, but Arnav held my arm tightly with his other hand, not letting me move back and get away from his touch.
Surprised at the hurtful way Arnav clutched my arm, I opened my eyes, tears in them due to the shooting pain I felt in my arm.
"Arnav, what-" I could not complete the question because Arnav interrupted me.
"I will never do what I did to you in the past due to my misunderstanding. I have given you my word never to be intimate with you without your consent, and I intend to keep that word. But that does not mean I will be so lenient toward you to let you always move away from me.
"We had a deal. According to it, whoever gives in first will have to respect other's wishes. If I give in, I will have to let you go. And if you give in, you will have to give our marriage another chance.
"Do remember that I will never give in, Khushi, because I love you and will do anything to keep you with me. Even if it means forcing you to accept me and my love for you until you give in." Saying that, Arnav turned and walked out of the room.
Once Arnav went out, I closed and locked the door.
I felt so much chaos within me that I wanted to shout, scream, and destroy everything around me.
My whole body trembled in anger. Anger at Arnav for calling what he did just a grave mistake. How dare he name his vile crime as only his mistake? How dare he?
He raped me. He forced me to feel him move inside my body. He forced me to accept his intrusion inside me until he was done. And it was not once, he did it repeatedly until it completely broke me.
I am still broken. Yes, I am trying to mend myself, but I know no matter how much I try to heal, no matter how severe punishment I give to my criminals, I will still not be able to heal completely.
There will still be some cracked parts within me. The cracks that would make me shake in fear of intimacy my entire life. The cracks that would never let me trust anyone else. The cracks that would never let me love again. The cracks that would never let me be truly whole again.
'After destroying my life, he still thinks it was only a mistake? And to top that, he says he will force me to give in? Such a disgusting, pathetic worm.' I shook my head in disgust.
Turning around, I walked to the bathroom.
Once inside, I stood beneath the showerhead and turned on the shower, letting cold water run through my whole body to calm myself.
I need to keep a composed mind to succeed in my mission.
Other Rathores also need to be punished, but the two people who need to pay dearly for each crime they committed against me are Arnav and Anjali.
Although it is easy to make Arnav take my side against other Rathores, I know it will not be easy to manipulate him against Anjali.
Also, I need to work harder to gain more mettle and stop fearing Arnav. I cannot let him intimidate me or overpower me anymore. Neither physically nor mentally.
It will be difficult, but I have come a long way. I used to be terrified of him before, but slowly I gained enough courage to at least face him and look at him eye to eye.
Yes, I still fear him because although the scars he gave to my body have begun to fade, the wounds in my soul are still fresh.
That is why I still tremble when he comes close to me, I still shake when he touches me. I am still unable to stand my ground firmly and tell him off because the fear he has ingrained within my mind is still at large.
But that does not mean I will give up fighting and give in to his demands and whims.
I survived even after he hurt me in the most brutal way a man could break a woman. I survived his beatings, his torture, and my humiliation at his and his family's hands; I survived them all.
And now, when I have finally garnered enough fortitude to face my criminals, I need to be tenacious until I overcome all my fears and avenge myself.
"I will not give up. I will never give up." As I whispered those sentences, I felt a warm ray of determination light within me.