"Armaan? All okay?" Janani asked, seeing her husband going pale all of a sudden.
Armaan looked at Janani blankly, non comprehending what she was saying.
Janani looked at her husband in worry.
She had never seen him like that before. He looked as if he saw a ghost for real.
"Armaan?" Janani gently shook Armaan and he snapped out of his thoughts.
When he looked again in the direction where he spotted the girl before, he didn't find anyone.
Did I imagine her? He thought to himself.
"Armaan! What is it? Why do you look so worried?" Janani asked
"Nothing Janani. Just give me a moment. I will be back" Armaan said
"I will also come with you" Janani said
"No no. Finish up the jewel shopping quickly. I will wait for you all outside" Armaan said and walked out of the jewel shop with long heavy steps.
"He looked disturbed" Richa said, watching Armaan walking away.
"Yeah. Let's just finish this quickly and go" Janani said and Richa nodded.
They quickly finished the shopping and walked out of the jewel shop.
When they reached the car parking, Janani turned to Richa and Aadesh.
"Can you look after the kids for a while? I will go with Armaan for a drive" Janani said
"Sure bhabhi. Go for your romantic long drive. We will manage" Aadesh, who didn't witness his brother's mood change, said teasingly.
Janani smiled faintly and kissed both the kids before walking towards the car. She got into the car and saw that Armaan had reclined the driving seat and was leaning on it, with his eyes closed. He didn't even realise that she had gotten into the car.
"Maan!" She called out softly.
He opened his eyes and she sucked in a sharp breath when she saw the agonised look in his eyes.
What had happened to bring such pain to the man she loves?
"What is it, Maan?" Janani asked, taking his hands in hers.
Armaan shook his head and closed his eyes again.
"Take us to your apartment, Armaan" Janani said
They need to be alone now. She will wait patiently until he feels ready to tell her what caused this pain suddenly.
*****
It has been an hour since they reached the apartment. Armaan was silent ever since they reached.
Janani made coffee for both of them and sat next to him.
"Aren't mothers programmed to love their child, Janani?" Armaan asked, his words laced with all the hurt he has buried deep inside his heart.
Janani's heart went out for this man who never knew what a mother's love is..
"Maan!" She pulled him into her warm embrace
"Today I saw someone" Armaan said
"Your mother?" Janani asked, remembering how pale Armaan had gone seeing something at the jewel shop.
"No. Not her. But a young girl. But she looked like a Xerox copy of my mother" Armaan said
"Oh!"
"Seeing that girl brought all the terrible memories back," Armaan said, lying on Janani's lap.
Janani gently combed her fingers through his hair.
"Maybe you should let it all out, Armaan. Stop keeping it all buried. Talk about your mother. All your complaints. Everything. Let it out and you will feel better" Janani said
Armaan took deep breaths and closed his eyes.
"I don't remember much" Armaan said
"Tell me what you know" Janani said
"She was from a poor family. A village girl. She married by father because he was rich" Armaan said
"Your father told you that?" Janani asked
"No. My grandmother. She raised us. My father hit the bottle when mother left him for someone richer. Grandmother brought us up until I was fifteen. She passed away when I was fifteen" Armaan said
"Your grandmother actually told you, your mother married your father for money? And that she left your father for someone richer?" Janani asked with a frown on her face.
Why would the old lady say such things to little children?
"Yes. She was adamant on letting us know, so that we will only marry women from well settled families. She didn't want us to repeat my father's mistake" Armaan said
"And look what you did. You married a woman who is as poor as a church mouse" Janani said dryly.
Armaan chuckled.
"You taught me differently, Janani," he said and kissed the inner palm of her hand softly.
"Do you remember anything about your mother? Other than what your grandmother told you?" Janani asked
"The only thing I remember is her ignorance" Armaan said
"Your grandmother lived with you all?" Janani asked
"Yes. She was the one who used to feed and bath me. My mother never looked after me" Armaan said
"Never?"
"I have had dreams of her sitting next to me and making me sleep" Armaan said
"Dreams?"
"Funny? Isn't it? I used to dream about it on a daily basis. Until the day she left. Never saw that dream again though" Armaan said with a humorless chuckle.
"Did you see her leave, Armaan?" Janani asked softly
"Thankfully I was spared of that fate" Armaan said
"How?" Janani asked
"Dad was going on a business trip that week. Aadesh was having a fever. So grandmother asked me to go with dad. As she couldn't manage to look after both of us, when Aadesh is sick. She said she needs to pay full attention to Aadesh" Armaan said
"And when you came back?" Janani asked
"Gone! She went with her boyfriend, leaving a few months old baby home" Armaan said bitterly.
Janani gulped hard.
Why does she find it difficult to come to terms with these facts?
Why does she feel like something is missing?
"And she never contacted you again?" Janani asked
"Oh she did. When we became richer than before. When I took Verma Corps to this unbeatable level, she tried contacting me" Armaan said bitterly.
"How? She called you?" Janani asked, with her heart in her throat.
"No, she sent me letters. She sent Aadesh too. But he never saw that. I have had strict instructions given to people to always divert those letters to my desk" Armaan said
"Why would you do that?" Janani cried out
"Because I don't want her to take advantage of him. He still yearns for a mother. And I will not let her make use of his yearning" Armaan said bitterly
"Every story has two coins, Armaan. Maybe you should hear your mother out once" Janani said softly
Armaan looked at her in disbelief.
"You gotta be kidding me" Armaan bit out angrily
"Armaan, listen-"
"No. As far as I am concerned, Durga Verma is dead" Armaan said, with a tone of finality.
Durga Verma?
Could it be the Durga Ahuja whose letters she saw in his study table? Janani wondered.
There seems to be some links missing and she needs to find out what!
And she needs to do it without Armaan's knowledge.