Your passage is intriguing, and I’ve proofread it for you. Here are the suggested corrections:
Ace, heeding his sister’s warning, ducked his body and watched as a thick ball of blood flew over his head. The blood, ignited and ready to explode, blew up upon touching the ground. A few of the Screamers suffered burns and severe wounds with blood seeping out of them.
Cherry quickly sprinted towards them with her hands drawn out, black steaming blood rushing towards her. With her hands by her sides, Cherry gathered the black blood and created small blood clones in the shape of the Screamers.
The clones ran ahead of her, their hands turned into sharp blades which were swung at the Screamers. Despite this, the Screamers broke the clones with one strike of their claws, none of them getting hurt in the process.
"What are you doing?" Ace wondered, clearly failing to see the point in the attack. "It’s clearly not working."
"Just shut up and watch!!" Cherry sneered as she leaped into the air. A few of the Screamers followed her while the rest kept their faces pointed at Ace. Meanwhile, Ace watched as his sister fell back down with drops of blood raining down on the Screamers.
The blood drops, upon making contact with the Screamers, caught ablaze and burned the furry bodies of the beasts gray. Ace, upon seeing this, quickly rushed to those who were burned and drilled through their bodies. His drills twisted and ripped apart parts of flesh in the Screamers, with fire burning the rest of their bodies. Not giving them a chance to heal, the Blood Mutant ran and pinned their bodies into a tree, finalizing and delivering the final kill.
[Congratulations: You have acquired sufficient Blood Points to evolve.]
[You can either use the Points to move up to the Blood Bishop Rank or turn another Blood Mutant into a Blood Knight.]
As soon as he read the system notification, the first person Ace thought of was his sister. For obvious reasons, she was the first person he wanted to help move up to the Blood Knight rank. Those reasons also included the fact that his sister was a good warrior. She may not have been the best in terms of fighting styles and techniques, but she was creative with her blood skills, aggression, and was also able to pick up on new tricks easily.
"There are five left, Ace!!" Cherry shouted, currently surrounded by the last five. "I’d really appreciate your help at this moment. HURRY UP, THEY’RE STARTING TO OPEN THEIR MOUTHS."
[Are you sure you want to spend Ten Blood Points to move up to the Next Rank?]
[Transaction Complete: 10.5 Blood Points remaining.]
[Embrace yourself. You are evolving to the Blood Bishop Rank.] Thɪs chapter is updatᴇd by 𝗇𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅•𝖿𝗂𝗋𝖾•𝗇𝖾𝗍
"Cherry, get behind me, NOW!!" Ace roared, his body increasing in height and size. Looking at Ace, Cherry gasped and quickly did as he said, for this was the same type of behavior he exhibited on Earth the day she and her brother were captured.
The Blood Mutant’s body grew by an extra three feet. Its muscles bulged, and out of them came blood tentacles that pierced into the ground. A great number of tendrils and blood tentacles were shot out of its body and onto the ground, further suspending the Mutant’s body in the air.
The Screamers remained unfazed at the Mutant evolving and instead chose to attack. Meanwhile, Cherry kept her distance from Ace, having calculated that he had lost all senses of his consciousness.
*ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRR*
A powerful roar, much louder, stronger, and more powerful than the Screamers, shook the surrounding area to the point where every beast, creature, and creeping thing, including the Screamers, shook in fear and ran as far away as they could. The Screamers changed course and decided to run instead of killing the Blood Mutant. However, the area they were in was slowly blocked by blood tendrils and tentacles everywhere. Every corner they turned to had a thick, impenetrable wall of blood tendrils blocking their path, keeping them trapped with the two Mutants.
*STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB*
Five large tendrils pierced through the last five Screamers, pinning their impaled bodies to the ground. One of the Screamers opened its mouth wide, sucking in as much air as possible. The other four did the same, and together, they all let out intense screams, hoping to affect the Blood Mutant negatively.
Cherry ducked and covered her ears while Ace created a wall of tendrils to protect himself unconsciously impaling the beasts once more through their heads, killing them in an instant. Once that was complete, the red Blood Mutant puffed its chest, took in a deep breath, and roared so powerfully that the trees around it shook, their leaves falling to the ground. Cherry’s body became overwhelmed by the power of the roar, and just as she suspected, her older brother had lost control.
Ace’s body, two times the size of Cherry’s, hovered over her with blood tendrils supporting his weight. The female Mutant fearfully looked into her brother’s eyes and saw no signs of humanity within. Ace was gone, and a terrifying Blood Mutant was what she was seeing eye to eye.
"Oh f*ck!!" Cherry had no plans of bargaining or sympathizing with her brother. She wasn’t some red-headed woman brave enough to start smooth-talking a raging beast to calm down. Instead, she sprinted as quickly as she could, creating a large enough distance between her and her brother.
"DAMN IT!!" she cried, large chunks of earth flying at her due to blood tentacles slamming next to her with the intention to kill. Cherry quickly cut through the tendrils and made it through Ace’s trap, but that wasn’t all. She took to the trees, clawing from one to another as a way to not only gain distance but altitude so that she’d hide from her brother’s view of range.
However, her speed was nothing compared to Ace’s. The red Blood Mutant swiftly followed, his tendrils shooting him from one tree to the other. His mouth was wide open, and his eyes focused on the slightly smaller red Mutant with the desire to kill and consume it.
"SNAP OUT OF IT, ACE!!" Cherry shouted, her body spinning away from the Mutant’s line of attack while she delivered a blow of her own. Using bits of her blood, Cherry shot flaming blood spikes at Ace’s eyes, hoping to temporarily blind him.
As much as she tried, the red Mutant was far too powerful and quick, easily dodging and deflecting the attacks thrown at it. Once it did, it let out another mighty roar, this time loud enough that even Jim and Anya heard.
"They’re in trouble!!" Anya’s heart skipped a beat as she and Jim picked up on the sound of the impending doom their fellow Mutants were in. "I’m going after them. They might need our help." "I’ll come with you then," Jin followed. "Judging by the sound of the roar, they might be fighting a colossal monster."