Since the talk with Sydney I've been spacing out a lot even when I'm talking to Harry.
"I can't believe you're now keeping secrets from me B. Yeah I respect there yours to keep but what happened to telling each other everything?" Harry starts his daily rants. I roll my eyes.
"I've told you Harry, I can't tell you and for a record I'm not entitled to tell you every goddamn thing. Just let it be." I made a promise to Sydney and I can't break it. He made me swear to never tell this even to Harry. Besides, telling him would also be risking his life. I can't do that to him.
"You've not been yourself this past week since you left with that Kings man." I start laughing. Harry doesn't like Sydney and has been calling him all sorts of names that come to his mind. "Just tell me what happened. I don't trust him."
I take a glass of water and take a large gulp. This talk and not telling Harry leaves me feeling tired and exasperated. "You never told me about Amelia for two years." I give him a pointed glare which he only rolls his eyes.
"You'll tell me when you want to. I need to go to the studio." I only nod knowing he's irritated. Well, that makes the two of us.
"Don't forget my shoot in two days." I wanted a pregnancy shoot. Harry suggested it to me and I loved the idea. Actually I set the day that was his birthday so Amelia and some friends could get time to organize his surprise party.
Harry mutters a yes and heads out leaving me to my thoughts. I unconsciously start rubbing my now showing belly in a soothing manner until I feel some slight movement making me stop. The baby just moved! I've been waiting for this since I accepted my baby and to say that I'm happy is an understatement.
My excitement dims a little when I think of how Sydney would react but I forcefully steer my mind from him and concentrate on my baby. A few minutes later I think about Sydney's offer. Accepting will mean that my baby gets a complete family. But I remember Sydney said for a year. I can't leave my baby behind. Sydney will want to get married to someone else probably and I just can't tolerate the idea of someone else raising my baby. What if he raises him to succeed his mafia title?
What will my baby think of me? Sydney is a busy man. Will my baby even get the love it deserves? Will it's step mom treat it with care and love? I totally doubt it. All my life I wondered why my parents hated me. Why my mom left only to die from cocaine overdose leaving me with a ruthless father who despised me. When I found out they weren't my parents I felt very relieved but the 'what if' questions started.
What if I was raised my my real mum, would I have turned out differently? Maybe a snob?
Would I be with more friends? The questions became unbearable until I willed them to stop. At least with this life I got to witness the struggles people endure each day. I got to experience so many difficulties and I proudly endured them. Heck! I even dated a criminal. I got to have Harry in my life.
So no. I won't leave my baby behind. For my baby, Sydney has to decide.
Me:
We need to talk. Meet in the coffee shop we once went to.
I text Sydney using his words making me grin. This time, I make the rules.
♣♠♣
I look at the mirror for the last time. I'm dressed in a red sundress and black boots. My hair is tied in a high ponytail and my face void of any makeup apart from the red lip-gloss. I pick up my black purse and decide to walk to the coffee shop which is around the corner.
Ensuring the door is securely locked, I turn around ready to leave but almost knock into someone. I notice it's only Sydney with an amused face as I place a hand on my heart.
"If you wanted me dead you could have just shot me with a sniper." I sneer at him. He starts laughing infuriating me even further.
"Hello to you too Ms Styles." He says in a playful tone. Why is he so happy? He looks so stress-free and his face is lit making him look so handsome and drool worthy even though I do admit his serious face makes him look so hot. I sigh. WHAT AM I THINKING?
I start walking without sparing him a glance. I feel my cheeks heated up but I try so hard not to think about that. Sydney walks by my side silently.
"I'll take you to the next appointment." He suddenly states. I halt in my walk and look at his back. He continues walking for a few steps before he turns to look at me with a grin. Damn! Will my baby please look like him? I now want a boy. I roll my eyes at my thought.
"No." His face masks with confusion and I groan. "You can't just decide out of the blue to take me somewhere especially to my appointments, Sydney."
"I know." I raise my eyebrow. "But I'll still take you." This. Man. Is. Infuriating. All he has to do is ask but his damn huge ego doesn't know that. I wouldn't mind him coming with me since he has the right to. I don't respond and continue walking into the almost empty coffee shop.
Sydney orders black coffee as I order a milkshake. We drink in silence until Sydney decides to break it. "I can't wait forever Isabella.".
I glare at him. "That's the point of me calling you." I take a sip of my milkshake. Sydney is almost done with his coffee. Watching him take a sip is one of the most erotic things I've seen. I shake my head as I lowly groan while my cheeks heat. Is this how horny a pregnant woman can get? How does drinking coffee come to this?
I lift my head and come face to face with an amused Sydney. The temperature in my body gets higher and now I'm sure I look like a real tomato. I clear my throat and straighten myself.
"I'll accept." Sydney visibly relaxes and I wonder if I'm one of the only people he openly shows his feelings. Does he trust me that much. The Sydney I met thirteen weeks ago is so different to this Sydney.
"I know this is a risky and a very big discussion for you and...” He starts but I hold up my hand.
"I'm not done yet." He nods for me to go on. "I have my conditions for this." Sydney raises his perfect eyebrow at this and I give him a challenging look. He nods again.
"I'm doing this for my baby. You have to know that." He nods again and I inwardly smile. "Neither I nor the baby should have any access to your dangerous world. I know when I accept this deal that means risking my baby's life and mine. I need assurance that we'll be safe. I'm not accepting this to be a trophy wife so after the birth of the baby, I'm going back to work." Sydney has his serious look and I fight the urge to admire him and look straight into his stormy eyes.
"Lastly." I pause for dramatic effect and Sydney's eyebrows furrow with impatience. I inwardly smirk. "The baby needs to grow up in a functional family. So if you agree to this, you're in for a long-term marriage."
I let the information digest for a minute. "So Sydney, are in you in forever or never?"