– Secret
***
Life on TUOIFA campus was fascinating and interesting. A whole month had passed already. Shane had never ever returned to the campus because all our teachers were present so far.
'Good riddance.'
Plus, he probably had better business as a movie producer. To me, he was someone who could make you lose your cool real fast.
**
One Saturday, I went into our little living room to meet Keisha.
"Kee, guess what."
"What?"
"Josh is coming to spend the weekend." I said happily.
She frowned, clearly disgusted
"And why are you telling me this? Someone who waited a whole month before calling you, since you came here. You're happy he's coming?"
"Keisha, please don't–"
"Don't please me," she cut in "I bet he's just gonna come here and propose to fuck you without apologizing. He's a disgusting pig." she retorted, clearly irritated by even the thought of him.
She always felt bad for me and hated Josh's guts.
"Keisha, stop."
I hated our arguments. I hated all arguments that had to do with Josh.
"I can't believe you made that jerk your first. He's not even worth it."
"We were betrothed and now we're engaged, Keisha. I'll marry him."
"God Forbid. Thank gawd, you didn't get pregnant."
"Keisha, you're hurting me." I frowned.
"I'm sorry but it's just the fact, Shayenne. Why did you even allow him to touch you?"
"We– we did it only once," I sat down, feeling uncomfortable.
"Why did you accept? You promised to wait for marriage. Well at least, that's what you used to say."
"He–"
"He what?" Keisha urged angrily, coming over to sit by me.
"He was drunk and–" I swallowed, "...and I couldn't tell him no."
Keisha's eyes widened.
"What are you trying to tell me?" she gasped, "He forced you?!"
"No. Not like that."
She wasn't lying.
"No, what? He forced you Shayenne? He did!"
I shut my eyes tight when they started to prickle. My fingers intermingled and there was a lump in my throat.
"Please Keisha," I stammered, tears beginning to well up my eyes a little, "Don't tell anyone, please."
"That was rape." she muttered with a frown.
"Please." I grabbed her hand when she stood up furiously, "Keisha, please. I beg you. Keep it to yourself. Do it for me."
Keisha was furious but I needed her to try and understand me at this point. I just needed her to. Josh had threatened me to keep it to myself. I was scared of him.
"Please." I mumbled, sobbing. Keisha sat down and stared at me. Her eyes watered.
"Shayenne, you don't deserve this." she murmured, tears rolling down her cheeks too.
"Keesha, please."
"Let's make a deal" she replied, wiping away her tears. I stared at her confused.
"What?"
"Try and live like a girl of your age. Allow yourself to be wooed by another guy. Just to know what it feels like to have a normal boyfriend. please just experience a bit of happiness within these three years we have. If you still love Josh by then, then you break up with the new guy."
"What? You want me to date behind Josh's back?"
"Yes. Just to experience something new. Then at the end of the third year, you break up and marry your Josh. He'll never know."
I looked at her through my blurred vision.
"It's either that." she continued, "Or I help you file a case against Josh, for rape."
My eyes widened.
"No, please."
"Then?"
I knew Keisha meant every single word. I didn't want her to speak up and I definitely didn't want Josh realising that I'd not kept the secret. I was stuck.
"I'll try Keisha." I muttered.
"Good. Come here." she took me into her arms and hugged me tight.