Doujin Artist: There's no way a group chat can go offline, idiot! And what kind of phone company requires a DND revival spell to leave a message?! Even someone with a hole in their brain wouldn't come up with that!
Curly-haired Guy: Fantastic comeback! Looks like you've grown into a proper tsukkomi master, Eriri-chan!
Doujin Artist: Shut up, I'm not playing the straight man here.
[Notice: The lucky draw event has begun. Please click the 'Open' button on your screen to claim your prize.]
Doujin Artist: Opened the lucky draw and got 200 points.
Skirt-Flipping Maniac Opened the lucky draw and got 1000 points.
Eiri had been quite pleased with her 200 points, but the moment she saw Saten Ruiko's score, she instantly felt a little bitter.
And to make matters worse, Gintoki's mocking words made her blood boil:
"Hahaha, what a stark contrast! Hey, Eriri-chan... you wouldn't happen to have African ancestry, would you? Your dad's European, so how come you ended up with African luck?"
Doujin Artist: Shut up! If I have African blood, then so do you! Your whole family does!
Skirt-Flipping Maniac Guys, don't fight! If you need points, Eriri-chan, I can give you some.
Curly-haired Guy: Pffft, hahaha! She's being offered charity! Eriri-chan is getting charity from a middle schooler! If I were you, I'd be at home crying into my pillow right now!
Doujin Artist: Shut up, you silver-haired pervert!
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Opened the lucky draw and got a rare item—[Desert Eagle] (Unlimited Ammo).
Amegakure Village's Angel: What's that?
Konan had initially thought it was an actual eagle living in the desert, but when she saw the "unlimited ammo" part, she realized she had misunderstood.
Doujin Artist: Desert Eagle?! Is it the one I'm thinking of? Quick, show us!
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: [Image] I believe this kind of weapon is called a pistol?
When they clicked on the image, a massive silver handgun appeared on the screen. It was resting in Li Mochou's pale hand, its metallic surface gleaming under the sunlight.
Amegakure Village's Angel: It's beautiful.
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: I think so too.
Li Mochou admired the Desert Eagle in her hand, clearly fascinated by it. She glanced at a wooden post in the distance and pulled the trigger.
A burst of fire shot from the barrel, followed by a thunderous explosion. The wooden post now had a hole the size of a baby's fist right in the center.
Li Mochou gently blew on the gun's barrel and, under Hong Lingbo's stunned gaze, tucked it into her bag.
Curly-haired Guy: Whoa, whoa, you two need to chill! That's a gun! A weapon meant to kill people! What's with all this "it's beautiful" nonsense?! That thing doesn't belong in ancient times at all!
Skirt-Flipping Maniac Oh yeah, I remember now—Mochou's world is ancient martial arts, right? Using a gun in a wuxia setting... that's quite the contrast.
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: It's fine, I'll get used to it soon enough.
Curly-haired Guy: What about the other martial artists? Did you ever think about how they'd feel? This is straight-up cheating! Just hand it over—I'll keep it safe for you!
Doujin Artist: Oh, please. You just want it for yourself.
This is an Actor: Interesting. So even things that break the rules of reality can be drawn in this event?
Aizen found the "breaking the rules" part particularly intriguing—specifically, the "unlimited ammo" written next to the Desert Eagle. How could a handgun have infinite bullets?
Clearly, it was tied to some deeper mechanics.
Doujin Artist: Wait a minute. Why does Mochou's Desert Eagle have a listed rarity, but my points and Ruiko's don't? Does my score not even deserve a ranking?
Curly-haired Guy: Hahahaha! Maybe the points are just a consolation prize? Stop struggling, A'Li! Your fate as an unlucky soul is already sealed! Tsk, and to think your dad is British... How did this happen?
Doujin Artist: Will you die if you don't mock me? I'm warning you, don't go too far, or you might end up being the clown yourself.
Curly-haired Guy: Ha! Like that would ever happen! I, Gin-san, am the embodiment of pure luck!
Amegakure Village's Angel: Opened a lucky draw and received an epic item—[Zanpakuto: Hyorinmaru].
Doujin Artist: Hiss... Konan is the real lucky one here! She actually got Hyorinmaru!
Skirt-Flipping Maniac Whoa, congrats, Konan!
Amegakure Village's Angel: Thanks.
Konan looked at the icy blade that appeared before her, a small smile forming at the corners of her mouth. Even with her normally calm personality, she couldn't help but feel a little excited.
Ever since she gained Shinigami powers from Aizen, she had a Zanpakuto as well.
But that Zanpakuto was nothing more than a blade forcibly shaped using her own spiritual pressure, just like how Ichigo Kurosaki's first sword worked. It never had the true abilities of a real Zanpakuto.
That wasn't surprising.
After all, every real Zanpakuto was forged by Nimaiya Oetsu of Squad Zero. Even Aizen didn't have the technology to properly forge one.
Although Arrancars also have Zanpakuto, theirs are simply used to seal away the power they already possess—their "core." Resurrección is just the process of unlocking that sealed power. This is completely different from how a Shinigami's Zanpakuto works.
But thanks to this lucky draw, Konan had finally gained the complete powers of a Shinigami.
This is an Actor: You can replace your old sword with this one.
Aizen was genuinely happy for her too. With Hyorinmaru, Konan would have no problem protecting herself.
Amegakure Village's Angel: Yeah, I'll try not to let Aizen find out.
This is an Actor: He already knows.
Amegakure Village's Angel: Hahaha, Anzen, are you trying to claim you're Aizen again?
Curly-haired Guy: I can't hold back anymore! It's time! Oh, mighty gods of luck, grant me infinite fortune! From this day forward, I shall be known as Napoleon the Fourth!
Skirt-Flipping Maniac Uh... was there ever a Napoleon IV?
Doujin Artist: Of course not! This guy is just making stuff up!
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Desperate times, huh?
Curly-haired Guy: Hmph! You don't believe me? Napoleon IV will rise today!
Curly-haired Guy: Opened a lucky draw and received a legendary item—[Indestructible Teddy Bear Underwear] (Women's).
This is an Actor: ...Women's?
Amegakure Village's Angel: ...Women's?
Skirt-Flipping Maniac Uh... this...
Doujin Artist: Hahahaha! What did I just say? What did I just say?! The clown is actually you!
Eriri burst into laughter, tears flying from her eyes.
Curly-haired Guy: No, no, something's not right! I must have opened it wrong! Stay calm—I'll try again!
Gintoki's eyes went blank. In one hand, he held a delicate pair of white teddy bear underwear. With his other hand, he furiously tapped the screen in front of him. But clearly, it was pointless.
Every time he tried to press the button, his fingers just passed right through the screen.
No one knew how much time had passed.
Eventually, Gintoki seemed to accept his fate. Slowly, he sat up, placed the tiny underwear on his head like a hat, and wrapped his arms around his knees. His entire being radiated pure despair.
Amegakure Village's Angel: Gin, just let it go.
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Life always has its ups and downs.
Doujin Artist: Exactly! Besides, even if it's a pair of women's teddy bear underwear... it's still legendary, right? You, Napoleon IV, deserve this title! Hahaha!
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