Zaira's POV
I heard murmurs, footsteps scurrying by and hands fiddling with my body, but the weight on my eyelids prevented them from opening. The pain roared through my whole body, but the fog that slowly took over me made it disappear. The surroundings fell silent and I felt like I was floating in an endless black sky. Nothing mattered anymore, the panic, the endless desperation that I had felt a few minutes before disappeared and gave way to indifference. The black depth drove me on and on, seducing me to let go and let myself fall.
It would finally stop hurting.
My mind was already breaking the first shackle that held me to the other shore called life and I slumped deeper.
" NOOO, YOU ARE MINE! "
The panicked roar shook everything around me and a single powerful beam of light illuminated the pitch black surroundings. A golden, shimmering band stood out against the dark background, sending waves of warmth and love towards me.
I hesitantly reached out for that golden light with my Spiritual Feelers, but it was so far away and I was tired. so tired .
"No Zaira, come back. Come back to me."
Something inside me longed for that voice, his voice. I wanted to crawl into his warmth and security and never come out again.
"Aramis, is it you?" I whispered as quietly as I could, afraid that at any sound the voice would vanish with the beautiful ribbon.
"Yes it's me. Come back to me, baby." the voice replied tenderly. "Please."
"But it's going to hurt again, so much." I didn't want the pain anymore, finally wanted to get away from it.
"I'll make you stop baby. I promise just come back." I heard the raw desperation behind it, and couldn't bear to hear him suffer like that.
Infinite sadness swept over me. "Where are you? I don't know how to get to you."
"Just hold on to our bond, okay? I'll pull you out, I'll get you back." , firm determination.
So I grabbed the band and held on to it. Then there was a backward pull and golden, warm light surrounded me.
**
I woke up several times that night. Water was held out to me, hands gently stroked my hair and a deep voice lulled me to sleep again and again until I woke up consciously for the first time and my eyes opened wide open.
I was in a sick room surrounded by white walls and white cupboards. I hated how sterile these rooms always looked, apart from the pretty colored bush of flowers that stood in a pot at the corner of the room. I squinted against the harsh light that shone straight in my face when it suddenly dimmed. I followed the hand that was handling the floor lamp above the bed I was lying in and stopped at dark green beautiful eyes.
Aramis stared at me without a word, but his face showed so many emotions at once that it took my breath away. Relief, shame and anger. Oh holy moon goddess, and what wrath.
"Hey." I wanted to whisper, but only a croak left my lips.
Immediately there was a straw on my lips, demanding entry. I greedily sucked the ice-cold water into my mouth and groaned in satisfaction when my dry throat was finally moistened. I cleared my throat. "Thanks."
Aramis didn't reply, just stared at me silently.
I reached out for his hand that was on his thigh and squeezed it weakly. "What's up?"
Then he averted his eyes with a snort. His jaw clenched and his hand clenched so tightly under mine that the veins in his forearm bulged.
"What's going on?" he sneered, laughing dryly, but the raw emotion behind it caught me cold-footed. His chest heaved with his rapid breathing while his gaze lingered on my chin.
"Everything is fine," I reassured him. I could imagine what I must look like. Bruises and green marks on my face, my jaw swollen.
Then he stroked my jaw with a trembling finger and something flashed in his eyes that I couldn't make out. The sudden bang made me wince and I saw more pieces of furniture shimmer through the air and splinter against the walls while Arami's searing gaze was still on my face.
"Aramis, stop it, I'm fine!" I grabbed his hand and shook it so that he finally calmed down and looked into my eyes. Then his fingers closed my hand and squeezed it tightly. With closed eyelids he breathed several times and the furniture slowly came to a standstill, but I caught the twitch of his teeth as I said again, "I'm fine, I'm fine."
"Nothing's okay," Aramis hissed. Then he pulled his hand away from me and stood up, as if he couldn't take a single look at my battered face. His hair stood on end in crisscross as he paced up and down the room and ruffled his dark brown mane. "He hit you, broke your damn jaw! He could have killed you, killed Zaira!"
His nerves were on edge, but I ignored that fact as something else occurred to me.
"How is Reah?" I held my breath, only seeing the images of her lifeless body lying in her own pool of blood. Oh please gods, let her be alive!
Aramis whirled on the spot and stared at me, his nostrils flared. He then approached me at a dangerously slow pace and looked at me like a predator eyeing prey as he then braced himself against the footboard of the hospital bed. It didn't hit me that he showed his dominance or demonstrated his power to me, it was the anger that hit me right in the heart. The anger was not only aimed at Serdas, but also at me. "Reah is fine."
I let out my held breath. "Thank God."
Then he exploded. "THANK GOD?!", he yelled and the bed frame shattered. Completely beside himself, he smashed the footboard against the wall. "THANK GOD?!
"I'm not!" I yelled at him, but didn't have the strength to really raise my voice.
"BECAUSE I BROUGHT YOU BACK!" he threw at me, fists shaking uncontrollably.
Now I had had enough of his anger. I just wish I'd recovered enough to get up and not just lie there useless. "Stop talking to me like that! How can you be mad at me? I finally saved Reah!"
"I'm not fucking mad, I'm pissed off at you!" his wolf came out clearly. "You fucking didn't hold back NOTHING! NOTHING! Not a single drop of your energy!"
"So I should have let her die then?!" I snapped back, wanting to cross my arms, but stopped when my body complained.
"Do you think Reah is more important to me than you?" He paused for a moment and waited for my answer, but when it didn't come quickly enough, he shook his head. "She isn't, damn it!"
"I don't apologize for shaving her from death." Now, also angry, I dug my claws into the sheets and stuck my chin out, glaring at him. "And I would do it again anytime."
Aramis stared at me in complete disbelief, as if he wanted to shake me to get me sane. My seething anger was instantly extinguished when I saw the pain in his eyes.
He was afraid for me.
Terrible fear.
With long strides he reduced our distance and pressed his violently trembling finger against my chest. His eyes turned into those of a wolf, as did his voice. "You belong to me and you're gonna stay the fuck alive."
The pressure on my chest sent sudden pain through my limbs and I groaned. My ribs were still broken despite my dentures.
Aramis froze. His eyes flared and the green faded from them, becoming abysmal dark. Then his fist flew against the wall and smashed it so hard it started bleeding. The stretched skin over his knuckles ruptured and I could see the white bones flashing through, yet he kept demolishing the wall. He roared his anger loudly while his blood left stains on the damaged wall.
"Aramis stop!" I tried to get out of bed, but my ribs hurt too much and I felt dizzy. I braced myself against the bed, panting, as the red beep on the screen next to my hospital bed beeped warningly. Then suddenly angels buzzed into the room like a bunch of bees that had just discovered the best nectar around.
They grabbed Arami's arms and tried to sedate him while saying over and over, "She needs rest! You worry her!"
Of course, Aramis didn't listen to any of the angels, but threw them away one by one, with his powers as well as with his bare hands. He behaved like a bull who had to defend and protect his female. "WHO LET SERDAS IN?!"
The angels cowered back, startled, shaking their heads helplessly.
"WHO WAS IT?!" Aramis loomed over them menacingly.
"STOP!", I stretched out my hand to him, but he paid no attention to me, only had attention for the angels, for the intruders, the threat - in his eyes at least. "ISURA! (stop) ", I and he shouted stopped in mid-movement. I had overheard a few snippets of the godspeak - that was the name of the language spoken throughout Semeera - here and there over the last few days, and by all appearances, Aramis listened better to his native language than to my language.
He stood there with his legs apart and snorted heavily.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I whispered the words over and over, holding back my tears as I tried to absorb the fact of how much I had hurt him.
"Goes."
The angels got to their feet and flew out of the room without making another attempt to drag Aramis out of the room.
Aramis leaned on the pillows on either side of my head. "I protected what was mine," rough and hoarse.
"I know," I said tearfully, cupping his face in my hands. "I'm sorry."
"You'll never do anything like that again, understand?"
"Never again, I'll always keep some with me, I promise", I wanted to pull him down to me, but he refused.
"Don't you break your promise. I'll never forgive you."
"I won't break it.", I didn't let go of his gaze for a moment. "Now calm down, come here, come to me." Finally he let himself be pulled towards me and kissed me hard, angry and possessive, marking his territory.
There wasn't a single wail, but Aramis noticed how much it hurt me to scoot over to make room for him next to me. His growl echoed deep across the room while his eyes burned wildly and darkened once more. He was about to freak out again.
"Lie down next to me, please. I need you."
He followed my request and lay down carefully next to me. Once he was next to me, I snuggled up against him as best I could, breathing in his scent. The rest of the panic still in my bones dissipated and I was completely absorbed by Arami's presence. But I couldn't say the same about him. No matter how many times I ran his fingers through his hair and stroked his chest, he was still loaded like a pistol. His whole body jerked, ready to fight. His delicate hug contrasted so much with his murmured words, expressing his seething anger: "I'll kill him. I'll kill him."
"Hey, I'm here." I kissed him right where his heart was and then looked up at him. "Don't let him win, don't get lost in the anger."
He didn't say anything and just stared at me silently.
"I will always be by your side no matter what."
"You're not immortal, not like me. You may be immune to time, but your bones snap like twigs." he muttered while gently brushing a strand of hair away from my face and tucking it behind my ear.
"I'm not as breakable as you think," I countered firmly. Whoever wanted to separate me from Aramis, I would fight to the last breath.
"I know," he said hoarsely, leaning in to kiss me. I didn't care how much my body hurt, I craved his closeness and tenderness too much.
"Somebody betrayed us," but then he said and leaned back.
"I thought so too." The words left an ugly aftertaste in my mouth. Serdas couldn't just jump over all the protective measures and enter the middle of the palace without raising an alarm. "It was one of the angels, wasn't it?"
Aramis nodded curtly. "I'm guessing Illyria."
"What?" I uttered in surprise and tried to suppress the queasy feeling. "What made you think of her?"
"She's about the same age as Reah and I, so she's known Serdas for a long time and they were good friends at the time. Plus, she knew exactly when you were where. When Serdas attacked you, nobody was with you and Illyria was off duty at that exact time. That can not be a coincidence."
Dazed, I laid my head on his chest and listened to his strong heartbeat. My heart rate calmed down and I closed my eyes for a moment. "I liked her so much."
Arami's hug tightened a tad. "I know Vinea and I'm not saying it had to be one hundred percent. I'll find out, and only then will I determine what judgment she faces. Until the traitor is caught, however, you will not leave my side."
"Okay," I breathed, pressing closer to him. As long as I was in his arms, I was safe.