CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
KARA
I gripped the doorknob, shutting it lightly behind me. To be Frank, I wanted to slam the damn door, remove the hinges and smash the Alpha’s face with it. How could he hurt Roxanne? I just didn't get it. Why did he bring her in if all he wanted to do was hurt her? And selina… she’s been murmuring about how she wanted roxanne out of the pack.
As I approached her bed, tears welled up in my eyes. She looked terrible. I placed the warm glass of milk on the coaster and sat at her bedside.
“Good morning ma'am,” I whispered as I brushed her hair from her face.
Her eyelids slowly fluttered open, her Hazel eyes were vibrant and full of life but her body wasn't. She smiled weakly at me. “Hi kara.”
“How do you feel, ma'am?” I inquired, trying to steady my voice.
She scoffed. “Hurts like hell but still maintaining beauty.”
I giggled as I helped her sit up. Weeks had gone by and Roxanne's condition worsened. I was scared she was never going to heal but I couldn't tell that to the Alpha. I was a healer. I had healed many people and never failed. It just couldn't be now.
“Am I getting any better?” Roxanne asked in the smallest voice ever.
I gulped as I battled with myself. If I lied to her, it wouldn't be of any help and if I told her the truth it still wouldn't make things better. But the situation she was in now, I couldn't say a thing to her about her condition.
I couldn't tell her she was dying.
“It only gets better,” I whispered as I reached for the hairbrush in the drawer.
She nodded, “You do know how to avoid questions. I'll just accept there aren't any changes.”
I sighed deeply. “Roxanne… do you feel different? We've been on treatment for three weeks, do you feel okay?”
“I can barely feel myself. I still feel sore and the pain grows intense with each passing day. There's been more frequent blackouts too. That's all I can remember,” she whispered.
I stared at her with fear in my eyes, “can you not tell the Alpha about this?”
Roxanne bit her bottom lip, worry evident in her eyes as she mulled over my request.
“Why though?”
I shook my head, “He'll kill me.”
“It doesn't get better, does it?” She asks and reaches out to touch my hand lightly. “You can tell me the truth. You know I won't spill and no one believes me anyway.”
I shook my head as I began to sob, “There are no changes Roxanne and I'm scared. The Alpha would think I'm not doing my job. I'm the pack's healer and I swear I'm doing all I can but I don't know what's going on.”
Roxanne groaned in pain as she struggled to pull me in for a hug. Every movement hurt, I could tell from the pain in her eyes and how she bit her bottom lip to stifle the sounds that almost escaped her lips.
“It's okay, kara. He wants me dead anyway. That's nothing to worry about. I feel like I deserve it. I killed people.”
“They came for you. You didn't do it intentionally,” I pointed out.
A sigh escaped her lips as she stared into space.
I took the glass of milk and held it to her lips, “please drink this. It'll make you feel better.”
She turned her head lightly,“I hear that every time but it never gets better,” she whispered, pain evident in her expression.
“He won't hurt you again,” I say.
Her expression softened as I braided her hair into a French plait. “You can never tell what his next move is, kara.”
“Just like you,” I teased. “Unpredictable.”
Reluctantly Roxanne took the milk from me and took a sip. Her eyes widened in surprise. “It smells divine and it tastes so good.”
I grinned.“The secret recipe is cinnamon.”
She smiled and took more gulps and I sat there watching her. She was really beautiful even though she was drying up. I was scared to take off those bandages on her wounds because she would wail and I would just feel terrible. Or maybe I was scared to see the wounds.
If there was anything different, she would have been healing from inside out but there was no change. She barely fed and drank and she worsened but the one thing that didn't lose its spark were her lovely eyes.
As she shifted, her dress fell off her shoulder and my attention was drawn to the necklace that hung from her neck. Subconsciously I reached out to touch it, tracing my fingers on the initials ‘L.K.”
Roxanne pushed my hand away. My action must have upset her for she had a light scowl on her face.
“I'm sorry,” I quickly apologised. “It's just really beautiful. And so perfect.”
“Thank you,” she murmured.
“Where did you get it?” I inquired, “And L.K, what does it mean? Is that your name?”
She leaned back against the pillows and stared at the wall, her face hardening, “I don't know. I've always had it. I can't tell who gave it to me or how it got there. I only remember always owning it.”
“Oh?” I said, not wanting to push.
Probably the necklace held memories or a history she didn't want to share. My eyes drifted down to her nails and I saw they were beginning to heal. They weren't as perfect as they used to be. They were clumsy but there were changes which was enough positivity.
“I think I'm hungry,” Roxanne said.
My eyes widened in amazement, “You are?”
She nodded, forcing a smile. “I want bread though.”
I scanned the room. There had to be one somewhere. I found a loaf, got a knife and cut two slices then buttered it. She ate that and I began to cheer up when she asked for more.
Could that mean she was improving? Was she healing?
After eating she leaned back in bed, “Thank you for being an amazing person, kara.”
I beamed at her and then it occurred to me I had something to tell her. “Roxanne?”
“Yeah,” she responded, her eyes never leaving mine.
“Yesterday, when I passed by your cell, someone was scratching on the walls.”
She bolted upright, her eyes wide open in fear, “What were they writing?”
“I don't know,” I whispered. “I didn't see them.”
***
ROXANNE
I couldn't sleep that night. Different thoughts ran through my mind. First of all the thoughts of dying and then Kara's revelation.
If kara could hear them too, then I wasn't crazy. I hadn't stayed in my cell since I got beat up before the public. Rather I was given a room with a bed so I could rest. The Alpha got me confused. I couldn't piece together why he wanted me dead yet, still wanted me saved.
For weeks the voices in my head had become distant. I didn't hear the name ‘Lilith’ but it was engraved on my mind. Even if I died, I wanted to know who the journal had belonged to. And the necklace was something I needed to protect. I couldn't have anyone else seeing it. Its design would give it off and it could be one of Ryker’s treasures. He would think I wasn't only a murderer, a pretender but also a thief.
As nausea surged up my throat, I gripped the edges of the bed and threw up on the floor. It was all chunks of bread and medicine.I was too weak to walk and the bitter aftertaste of vomit in my mouth made me feel sickly.
Kara had already told me I wasn't getting any better. I was still going to die. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks. There was still a lot I hadn't done and I didn't want to die. No one liked me. My brother didn't even care if I was alive or not. He didn't come to look for me.
Was I that much of a burden to people? Or did I have a stigma that made them hate me? I was still going to get beat. I heard the Alpha tell the people. They had requested to see what I looked like now, to see if I was really dying or thriving but the Alpha’s guards had stopped them.
I sighed deeply, my mind burning with hate for the moon goddess. Why was I weak? Why couldn't I be like everyone else? Why didn't I have a wolf? Ryker had wanted to be nice to me on the first day but after realising I had no wolf, he became cruel.
I slowly reached for the bandages and bit my lip to prevent from screaming out. I needed to see what the wounds looked like for myself. I dreaded taking those medicines and antidotes. They never worked.
I slowly pulled at it, my hands unsteady from the pain and my teeth dug deeper into my teeth, so deep I could taste the blood on my lips. I shrieked in fear and wailed from the pain.
The wounds were rotting and covered in maggots.
“Oh god,” I cried out in pain as the disgusting odour from my body hit my nose.
Why didn't Kara tell me? I was still alive yet I was beginning to rot. Now I could explain the reason for the pain.
I reluctantly reached for the knife on the table. The one kara had used to slice the loaf.
What was the point of living when I was just going to die? No one cared and the pain was insufferable. I couldn't bear it anymore. I didn't want to hear those taunting voices. I wanted it all to end.
I slowly closed my eyes and with a determined strike, I stabbed myself in the stomach.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?”
Too late. I couldn't hear a thing.